Wednesday, April 17, 2013

5 Off My Head - 12's Top Men

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It's been over two weeks since the 2012 Golden Trousers ended, so I figured we'd look back at the polls we'd included inside The Great Gratuities, aka me picking my favorite male-nudies of the year, and see who came out on top in each round. So let's! First up, the winner from the 32 runner's up...

... was Armie Hammer in Mirror Mirror. A solid, and I do mean solid, pick. And all he did was doff his top - can you imagine the hubba-hubba-hullabaloo once he sheds more? The Gratuities will most certainly take note. The Lone Ranger doesn't seem too promising on this front (although foot fetishists have surely taken note of that trailer by now), so we turn our eyes to By Virtue Fall, in which he goes to prison, bulks up, shaves his head, and faces down Eric Bana. Umm, did I just dream that synopsis into reality?

The second and third place Runners Up, for the record, were Michael Fassbender in Haywire and Taylor Lautner in the final Twilight movie. Now there's a pair.

Next stop, y'all voted on our #20-16 picks.
Tops therein went to...

... Matthew Wilkas in Gayby. With 39% of the vote, too! A very fine choice! Honestly I don't think anybody stood a chance in that line-up against that gif of him. Wilkas has a couple gigs lined up, both in what appear to be homosexually-themed television productions, so my guess is we'll see him skinning some more in the future. One of them I'd just read about - it's being billed as a "gay Sex and the City" (yeah, redundant) and it stars Jonathan Groff and was written by Weekend's Andrew Haigh.

Next up, the winner of your vote
 from our #15-11 picks was...

... Jean Dujardin and Gilles Lallouche going at it doggy-style in The Players. Once again, a gif that would not be denied. Dujardin's spent his career doffing his clothes, much of which we've documented, so post-Oscar it looks like he's getting all serious and dressed instead - he's got movies with Martin Scorsese and George Clooney coming out this year. Maybe George will give us something? Lellouche, it looks like he's staying in France, so he'll probably constantly be naked while sipping wine.

Up next! The winner out of our #10-6 spots was...

... Zac Efron in The Paperboy! Not so surprising that, although he certainly faced some stiff competition (Har har.) Alex Pettyfer and Milo Ventimiglia were right on his behind (Har har har.) As for Zac he's already been spotted shirtless playing a greeter at an Abercrombie & Fitch store on the set of the Seth Rogen comedy Townies, so I think he's realized which side his bread's buttered.

And finally out of our top five you picked...

... Matthew Bomer in Magic Mike! In a (non-)upset over our #1 placer Channing Tatum in the same movie. As I'd said in my write-up, Channing only topped Matt for me (heh) out of a sense of duty for his having gotten the movie as a whole made, so my vote was really for Bomer as well, really. Up next Matty's most promisingly got The Normal Heart lined up from Ryan Murphy on HBO.

And now, because why not...
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