Thursday, October 30, 2014


Five Frames From ?


What movie is this?

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... taking a pounding from Matt Lauria.

One way or another, whatever.

He can choose. I'm open...

... to suggestions. Hey look, it's Alicia Witt! I was literally just wondering two days ago where she had gone to, and here she is, with a naked Matt Lauria slapping his nakedness against her. I guess I needn't have worried. 

So this most recent episode of Kingdom appears to have been all about exploiting Matt this time; if you hit the jump you can see a ton more. (With a bonus Jonathan Tucker shot at the end cuz why not.) Take it away, Matt...

Who Wore It Best?

EW has the next Terminator movie's cast (I refuse to write that other word in the movie's title! I refuse!) on their cover and for some reason on the inside pictures they made everybody make "Jessica Alba screaming into an oven" faces.

You do remember Jessica Alba screaming into an oven, right?

Yeah who could forget. Anyway...

I Know The Answer To That Question Now

Jake Gyllenhaal played Water War with Jimmy Fallon last night, 
and he just couldn't keep it in. (thanks Mac)

Oscar Isaac Has Been Taking Notes

My first few impressions of Oscar Isaac left a bitter taste in my mouth - he was super-douchey at some Q&As I saw him at before I even really knew who he was, I've talked about this before. So I kept taking that baggage into his movies with me - it made Inside Llewyn Davis nearly impossible for me, for example. It seems to be wearing off some though - I didn't like the movie much but he didn't get on my nerves in The Two Faces of January, and also... well also let's just cut to the chase I became aware of his beefy backside and all bets were off. What can I say? You guys know how it goes.

And now there's some new movie called Ex_Machina, in which he's grown a giant bushy beard, buzzed his hair, and seems to be having some kind of a sexy isolated robot-orgy homoerotic relationship with Domhnall Gleeson. I am only human here, people. 

There are two trailers - the US one and the International one; they're both positively stuffed with promising shots of Oscar & Dom staring at each other with all kinds of sensations just dripping off the screen. I usually project more onto these kinds of movies than they ever end up going near...

... but I keep hope alive, I keep it burning. 
Hit the jump for a few more caps.

Pic of the Day

Our first look at Matt Bomer in American Horror Story: Freakshow showed up yesterday; he doesn't appear to have any outward signs of freakishness, save that hairdo, but who knows, Ryan Murphy's made all his pretty boys have mostly hidden, uh, talents, or at least ones that don't mar up our abilities to lust: Evan Peters lobster hands are covered up a lot of the time, Wes Bentley's double-face was on the back of his head, and Dennis O'Hare's, you know, apparently ginormous cock, has been kept off-screen. (PS I haven't watched last night's episode yet so no spoilers.) This much we can see: Matt's definitely inside the clown's creepy cage habitat, so that tells us something. I hope he's just a creepy perv a la Dandy myself (maybe he and Dandy can be creepy pervs with each other, and I can explode.) Matt shows up in next week's episode.

If It's In A Word Or It's In A Look

Look at this thing! Ahhh! 

I got this little promotional Babadook item in the mail yesterday, and it has made my entire week. Boom, to quote The Lego Movie, everything is awesome. 

What's weird is right when I got home and opened this thing in the mail I also was reading an email from the director Jennifer Kent herself - not a personal one, unfortunately I haven't made her my best friend yet; she emailed out an update to those of us on the list waiting for news of an official version of The Babadook book to get made. You can sign up to be on the list here. It seems as if it really will happen, thank goodness. But here's I'll just let y'all read what she wrote:

Hi everyone,

It's Jennifer Kent here, writer/director of The Babadook.

Firstly, thank you for showing so much interest and support in our film. The enthusiasm we've experienced worldwide has meant a lot to us. Any film is hard to make, this one was f*cking hard! So when we hear that people saw it and they really liked it, it makes it all worthwhile.

I thought it was time for a Babadook pop up book update because we've been keeping it quiet these past couple of weeks.

We are working at the moment on creating the best possible book we can. We want to include the existing pages from the book in the film, but also throw in some new ones, elaborate on the Babadook story a little, and make it a stand alone companion piece to the film. This is very exciting for us and hopefully for you too! Who doesn't want a book on their shelves that they wished they'd never bought because they're too scared to walk past it! I know I do!

Pricing a book like this and making it viable is taking us a little longer than anticipated, because we want the book to be of superior quality. So I just wanted to let you know personally that we're still working on it. And we really hope that once we get all our ducks lined up, you'll be able to jump in and support the campaign, be a real part of getting this thing made. It'll be a win win situation for us all - make a pledge and pre-order a copy of the book in the process. Enough pre-orders and we'll have our book published.

We don't have a book price yet but we're working on getting those figures for you asap.

My hope is that you'll all want to grab a copy of the book to keep in your homes; maybe even give a copy to your friends and/or family you bunch of sickos! (And I mean that in the nicest possible way.)

Talk soon.


Once you guys see the movie I can pretty much guarantee you're going to want a Babadook book of your own, so file this information away for later use. And speaking of seeing the movie - I have been paying all kinds of attention to the release date on this sucker, since it seemed strange to me that it wasn't coming out until long after Halloween has passed here in the US (November 28th, to be exact) -- well out of nowhere today the movie's Facebook page announced the film is on demand on DirecTV right this very second! YOU GUYS!!! Sell your cable box and get DirecTV right this second. if you don't have DirecTV where you live, MOVE. (Here's a link to my original review of the movie.)

Everybody's Already Made All...

 ...the "Chris Evans yanks on Chris Hemsworth's hammer" 
jokes by now right? Dammit I took too long.

I love the shot of Chris staring on amusedly though. 
"Oh yeah, Steve. Pull haaaaarrrrrder...."

I'll include this shot of Downey & Cheadle tag-teaming Chris Hemsworth's hammer just because it allows me to write that sentence, even though I don't much like either of them. Also...

... Scarlett's thanks-but-no-thanks is hysterical. 

This was such a wise pick for a scene to set up the new trailer - give or take my personal reaction to those middle guys, The Avengers was a big hit because among the spectacle we really do just like hanging out with these folks, and it's been said a million times but Joss Whedon knows how to charm with a team dynamic. And also...

... he knows when to insert some beefcake. 
Here's the latest trailer:


Thursday's Ways Not To Die


976-EVIL (1988)

This is the opening scene of the movie; we have no idea who this guy is being chased by ringing telephones. It all happens along with the credits, which I was able to edit around... although I do feel as if we all miss something by me not including this specific credit here...

No one should ever react with that expression to the words "And Sandy Dennis as Aunt Lucy" coming on the screen! Save this WTF of an opening scene and some between-the-lines strangeness Sandy Dennis is kinda this movie's saving grace - it pops to life whenever she shows up. 

She is quite clearly having a BLAST. I was really hoping they'd give her character a great death scene and the entire post could be about her, but the last act is a total still-birth - I don't know if director Robert Englund (yes director Robert Englund - this is one of two movies he's made, along with 2008's Killer Pad, which uh....) ran out of money or what but all the death scenes, save this eye-catching opener, consist of the camera cutting away at the moment of violence and then cutting back to find the person suddenly dead, or something similar. All Sandy Dennis gets is a smack to the head, the poor thing.

She deserved far, far better. I'd actually never seen this movie until last night - thanks to Anonymous for bringing it up in the comments earlier this week I realized I should give it a shot, since I was looking for a good Ways Not To Die for today's entry in "The 13 Phones of Halloween." The movie's bizarre enough - not just Sandy Dennis' must-be-seen performance, but also the, how do I say this...

... the unrelenting gayness of this movie. It's kind of non-stop. It's maybe not as gay as A Nightmare on Elm Street 2, but well you'd have to include man-to-man penetration to be gayer than A Nightmare on Elm Street 2. 976-EVIL is up there, though - it fetishizes the hell out of all the punks, and spends way more time leering at them than the couple of girls who pop up here and there. And it's all about the loving relationship and sexual jealousies between two male cousins...

 ... oh, and phones. Evil devil phones, or something.
Links to the Previous Ways Not To Die after the jump...