Monday, March 30, 2015

Gratuitous Mehmet Akif Alakurt

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It's another one of those fun times when I'm posting about some dude I know absolutely zip about, and hoping maybe some of y'all know more... or not, who cares really, as long as there are pictures. So this is Mehmet Akif Alakurt. He's a Turkish model turned actor, apparently. I should probably use "actor" loosely - he's only got eight credits, none new since 2013, and they all appear to be Turkish soaps. But like I said...

... who the hell cares about his acting abilities right this minute? According to the pictures I dug up, the producers giving him his jobs had that idea too. In fact for somebody I could find so little practical information about I still managed to find a great big ton of pictures. Which sometimes...

... is just the way it should be. 
Hit the jump for all of them!

I Am Link

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--- Friendly Fire - I didn't realize that Halt and Catch Fire, AMC's series about Eighties computing starring Lee Pace and Scoot McNairy, was coming back so soon - the second season to the depressingly low-rated series begins on May 31st! Have they put the first season on Netflix or anything? They gotta get people watching it; I'd really grown to love it by the end of the first season. Anyway EW has the first clip, plus some chatter about where we're at when the show returns. More gay sex for Lee Pace please! (thanks Mac)
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--- Carrie On - I don't know if Sufjan Stevens' new album Carrie and Lowell coming out tomorrow will finally shut me up about it or not - I'm still listening to it pretty much non-stop, and it's still managing to make me sob in public. Anyway some Suffy links to share: the rave review at Pitchfork was clearly written by a longtime Sufjan fan who fills in all kinds of nice details and callbacks to his previous work. I also found this article talking about Sufjan's religion interesting, even though I'm a super atheist. It also led me to this old interview with Sufjan that I don't think I'd ever read before. Choice bit is when they asked him about his first experience performing music in front of a crowd

"I entered a lip sync contest in middle school (I did Peter Cetera’s “Glory of Love”—from The Karate Kid Part II with choreography and make-up). I wore a red bow-tie and pants with zippers on the cuffs. I didn’t even get runner-up, it was so awful. I wasn’t interested in art or aesthetics. I wanted to be a celebrity, smothered with reputation, smoke machine and all."
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--- Super Squad - Suicide Squad's been filming for a couple weeks now but they're still adding hot guys to the cast! DH is reporting that both Scott "Seed of Clint" Eastwood and the boxer Raymond Olubowale (seen there to the left) have just joined the cast, although there's no word on who they're playing. There's a rumor that Olubowale is playing "King Shark" though, whoever that is. Hopefully King Shark is better known as "The dude who makes out with Jai Courtney's character a lot."
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--- Demon Seeded - So it seems that Nicolas Winding Refn began filming his female-centric horror movie The Neon Demon today out in Los Angeles, and at that link there's a little bit more specific of a plot tagline then we've seen before (here's what we'd heard before). Also of news are a couple new cast members listed, including Desmond Harrington, who we gratuitized here at the blog back in 2009. Where the heck has he been? Oh and this dude too:
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His name is Karl Glusman and that's him playing the same part that Billy Magnussen memorably played in the play Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike. Glad to know there will be beefcake besides all the women-folk then!
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--- Peggy's My Hero - I didn't need any more reasons to adore Hayley Atwell after Agent Carter - she's the bee's knees, you guys - but if she wants to tell terribly amusing stories about how she couldn't keep her hands off of Chris Evans' man-boob, then she can go right ahead and do that, and together we'll find out that I can actually love her more. (thanks Mac)
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--- Mad Adam - It becomes clearer and clearer to me the more interviews with Adam Driver that I read that he is genuinely and honestly a super weird person and he doesn't just play one on TV. Take this chat with him in The Guardian (thanks Mac) where, when asked what it's like working with Martin Scorsese (they're currently filming the Jesuit priest drama Silence) he says, and I quote:

"Surreal. I grew up watching his movies. In my culture, in Indiana, it was all about going to Blockbuster Video and renting Martin Scorsese movies."

I get that he's talking to a British newspaper here but it stills trikes me as such an odd bit of phrasing - "in my culture" - that just makes him sound like he's from outer space, instead of placing him anywhere where people actually do things like go to Blockbuster.
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--- Hamm Handed - I knew there was a reason I have never gotten into watching Mad Men! It was all a pre-reaction to the rumor that the show's creator Matthew Weiner apparently refused to let his star Jon Hamm take on the leading role in David Fincher's Gone Girl in between filming the show, and thereby forcing me to sit through another godawful Ben Affleck performance. Goddamn you, Matthew Wiener. You can go to hell for that one, I'll never watch your dumb show now.
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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Heathers (1988)

Veronica: If you were happy every day of your life
you wouldn't be a human being. You'd be a game-show host.

Today is the 58th birthday of Michael Lehmann, the director of Heathers. Heathers was his first movie! Talk about striking gold right outta the gate. Lehmann's done a few more movies over the years (The Truth About Cats & Dogs is probably his second best flick) but he's worked like gangbusters on TV, directing episodes of faves like Wonderfalls, The Comeback, American Horror Story and True Blood.

As I was looking him up I was reminded of this oral history of Heathers for its 25th anniversary last year that EW did; it's worth the read if you love the movie like any sane person does. Looking for anecdotes specifically from Lehmann I found this tidbit interesting:

"I really wanted to cast Heather Graham [as Heather Chandler], and her parents wouldn’t let her do it. She was 16 or 17. I even talked to Heather’s mother at great length to convince her we weren’t tools of Satan, and she would have nothing of it. I really tried. I mean, I begged her. Heather’s reading was just great."
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For Reasons Which Are Well Known To Them

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As if this week's banner weren't enough Mommie Dearest homage, we've latched on The Film Experience's "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" series tackling that camp masterpiece on Wednesday with our "Beauty vs Beast" series, starting today. Head over there to vote, and please don't allow your guilt about child abuse to spoil the fun. Joan wouldn't like it, and we wouldn't want to upset Joan...


Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... starring in South Pacific Rim.

This "Suck the poison out of my body" skit from this weekend's SNL (which you can watch in its entirety right here) was probably my favorite from the surprisingly funny night, for obvious reasons. (And having just recently seen Pete Davidson without a shirt on made seeing him suck on Dwayne Johnson's bum even more of a thrill.) But it was a good show, wasn't it? Hit the jump for more gifs...

Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Good Morning, World

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Well this is a rare gift - a shirtless picture of prime Warren Beatty that I've never seen before? Sure I'll swallow. (via) Warren is turning 78 today, which means somewhere in the Hollywood Hills Annette Bening is placing a single rose into a slim vase on a breakfast tray right this very second. Picture it! I know it's shockingly easy...

Anyway Warren's supposedly finished filming his still-untitled Howard Hughes movie, and maybe it will be out before 2015 is over? That'd be something. It co-stars a ton of Young Hollywood, names like Lily Collins and Taissa Farmiga and Haley Bennett and (most importantly for our fantasizing duties) Alden Ehrenreich & Chace Crawford.


Friday, March 27, 2015

I Don't Know

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Have a nice weekend or whatever.
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Fast Five Reviews

I've been very bad at writing reviews lately, which is totally sucky of me because I have seen a lot of very good movies lately. So here, let us play a little game of catch up! These five movies here are, to varying degrees, worth some of your time, says me.

Monsters: Dark Continent -- When I finally realized about twenty minutes into this sequel to Gareth Edwards' surprise 2010 indie-hit that Scoot McNairy really wasn't going to be popping up at any point, well, I might have taken to chanting "Free Scoot! Free Scoot!" for a hot minute, I'll confess. But mostly just because it's fun to chant "Free Scoot!" - it didn't really have anything to do with this movie on its own. Turns out that this movie on its own is actually surprisingly effective - yeah it drops the Lovecraftian space-monster conceit down into an Iraq War allegory that feels about six years late, but its characters aren't the video-game ciphers I feared they'd be at the start (this is no Battle: Los Angeles, thank goodness) and it showcases some of the same low-budget shock + awe the first movie did. There's also just some fun monster design going on and lord knows I'm a big sucker for that junk.

Kumiko, The Treasure Hunter -- I had myself a double-feature of Kumiko & Jauja over the weekend and I remember thinking to myself, poisoned by the false bounty the New York City Cinematic Experience allows for, that anybody who whines about the art of movie-making being dead just isn't looking at the right places. Kumiko is one of the right places. Oddball as all get out, blessedly so, and anchored by an actress (Rinko Kukuchi) that fits the wacko bill to a tee, this movie's a reason to go to the movies. Rinko never gets this sort of leading lady room to breathe her particular brand of particulate air all over the screen and what a gift, taking it in. My favorite strain of the film's loving side-eye at the Coens & Fargo though is how the tundra-stuck residents of this world and their homespun quirk are no match for this lady - all the "Aww Jeez"'s in the world just flatten out in front of real weirdness.

Spring -- You know how I always try to visit a horror movie location when I go on a trip somewhere? Well I wish I'd seen this movie before I'd gone to Italy last year so I could've had something other than Kit Harington's thighs on my mind when I wandered the wrecked streets of Pompeii. Not that I've got anything against Kit Harington's thighs of course. I'd love to have something against Kit Harington's thighs actually. But they're just not horrific, and horror is the game. Well Spring isn't entirely horror either - it's more like Richard Linklater directing an HP Lovecraft story. (This being the second time I'm bringing up Lovecraft in this post I am inclined to think on the parallels between Spring & the Monsters sequel - they do both have similar ground-breaking finales, for one.) 

Which is a pretty great thing to be more like! Spring sometimes gets lost in the wrecked streets of its own myth-making (I don't really need all of the gibberish science to suspend my disbelief; it actually sometimes gets in the way) but its saving grace is its embrace of its own silliness - it thinks nothing of allowing for a hysterically funny cutaway to a bunny rabbit mid-monster-montage, when I could see a lesser version of this movie suffocating itself with self-seriousness.

White God -- My mood slammed itself back and forth while watching White God - while I never quite got to the place a hefty chunk of the audience I was watching it with got where I was going to walk out mid-movie (I haven't seen so many folks storm out of a movie in quite awhile) I did find myself every so often looking at the people leaving with an envious eye. It's relentlessly downbeat and aggressively dark, sometimes (often) to its own detriment - I have never seen (and will never see) Iñárritu's film Amores Perros (I have had quite my fill of Alejandro González Iñárritu, thank you very much) but I wasn't surprised to read people comparing that film with White God because I sometimes got the "misery for misery's sake" feeling from the latter that's made Iñárritu my arch-nemesis. And yet White God is its own dark strange beast, and just so bizarre at times that, headache be damned (there's so much barking, you guys), I couldn't stop watching it. And I'm glad I didn't stop watching it because the last twenty minutes or so are just insane things.

Eastern Boys -- Eastern Boys reminded me a lot of Stranger by the Lake (which I just recently named my second favorite movie of 2013) in that they both use the jittery tension of thrillers to get at something tough in the heart of homosexual male relationships - both movies soak in the danger of not knowing that testosterone-addled beast climbing on top of you and the strange places your own hormone-blind impulses may lead you... like under a testosterone-addled beast, for instance. But Eastern Boys ultimately reveals a tenderness to this fella's transactions - there turns out to be love, and not just lust, here. Not to mention forgiveness, and a way out and through. Stranger's cynical allegory of manhood unchecked probably hits its mark a little cleaner, but Boys has the soul (and all the sloppiness that messy noun presupposes) that movie left beating off in the bushes.
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Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... summering with Skarsgård. (via)


It's Here

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Just a reminder that David Robert Mitchell's most excellent new horror classic It Follows is out in a whole bunch of theaters this weekend, after they decided to hold off on going VOD so they could rake in some money maybe, and you should most certainly see it! Here's a list of places where it is showing. I have written about the movie twice - first here and second here. I think it's swell.
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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:


Lt. Aldo Raine: You didn't say the goddamn rendezvous 
was in a fuckin' basement. 
Lt. Archie Hicox: I didn't know. 
Lt. Aldo Raine: You said it was in a tavern. 
Lt. Archie Hicox: It is a tavern. 
Lt. Aldo Raine: Yeah, in a basement. You know, 
fightin' in a basement offers a lot of difficulties. 
Number one being: you're fightin' in a basement! 

A happy 52 to Quentin Tarantino today!
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Derek Theler Two Times

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(click to embiggen) When I did that gratuitous Derek Theler post this morning how could I have known these pictures (via) would show up? I am, unfortunately, not a nipple psychic. Man if I could have one super-power though...


Who Wore It Best?

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Ryan Reynolds tweeted out that picture of himself as Deadpool this morning, and when I went over to Twitter to grab the link I saw he'd already spoiled the exact same joke I was all set to make...
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So I suppose it was deliberate.
But we still need ask this question!



Which Reynolds wore the bear rug best?

Ryan Reynolds0%
Burt Reynolds0%

A Disturbance in the Force (Majeure)

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The news that Ruben Östlund's hysterical and strange 2014 film Force Majeure is being remade and Julia Louis Dreyfus is eying the lead female role was met with a lot of "...WHAT???"'s on my Twitter feed last night, and that was definitely my first reaction as well. Force is damn near perfect (you can watch it on Netflix right now, and I recommend that you do) and doesn't really need a remake - it just needs assholes who wont read subtitles to get over themselves. But! JLD is one of the funniest people on the planet, so maybe we should give her the benefit of the doubt....?

I don't know, nobody knows until we see who else is ballsy enough to tackle this. FM is very funny but it doesn't let on that it's funny - it's a very fine tightrope the movie walks and veer either way and who knows what could happen? 

Most people are wondering what American actor could play the husband (played to utter perfection by Johannes Kuhnke in the original) - what do you guys think? It needs to be somebody who is handsome and strong on the outside but capable of becoming increasingly pitiful as the film goes on - so much of the humor comes from watching virility curdle with astonishing quickness. He should also be of age with JLD, I think. I googled "actors born in 1961" (the year JLD was born) and I skipped right over George Clooney (no please no) and you know who could be great? Woody Harrelson.

But my biggest wish is that they just get Kristofer Hivju  to reprise his role as the best friend. He speaks perfectly fine English on A Game of Thrones, so he could do it. Nobody else is gonna top that ginger beard. Nobody!
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Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Sweet Baby Southpaw

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Well the trailer for Jake Gyllenhaal's upcoming boxing movie Southpaw is here - you know the boxing movie from Training Day director Antoine Fuqua and written by Sons of Anarchy's Kurt Sutter... it's so butch! - and sure enough... it's so butch!

Seriously though, those muscles aside, I think Jake looks fantastic in this, absolutely fantastic, don't you? If he is indeed as good as he looks (abs included) and he doesn't get his overdue 2nd Oscar nom this year, I'm coming for you, Academy. And I'm bringing this...

... with me. (Sweet Baby Jesus) Here's the trailer (but do be warned, it's a trailer that gives away 75% of the plot unnecessarily, so you will be spoiled for an awful lot of it by watching this). The movie's out at the end of July.
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And what, you think I didn't cap the whole thing?
Of course I capped the whole damn thing. Hit the jump for it.