Friday, August 01, 2014

Clever Girl

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The "clever girl" of this post's title refers to Anna Faris of course. That's a new picture of her hubby Chris Pratt in Jurassic World (via). So have any of you seen Guardians of the Galaxy yet? I am seeing it tomorrow, and you could say that I am excited. You could say that. Let me know what you think of it in the comments!
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Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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You're Having Cheer-Sex With Him

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The hotness of Tom Williamson (dude in front) is far from the only reason to watch the horror flick All Cheerleaders Die, which has just hit Netflix Instant, but it might be the quickest way that I actually get you to watch the movie so I'm using it. Let it be known - I'm using you, Tom Williamson! Here's my review of the super fun flick from way back when - co-written and co-directed by Lucky McKee of May fame, this movie bears the MNPP stamp of enthusiastic approval. Watch it!



The Fellas of 70s Skin Flicks

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I hadn't really been paying much attention to the upcoming retrospective of 70s softcore skin-flicks by director Randy Metzger that's hitting the Film Society of Lincoln Center next week because when I think of 70s softcore skin-flicks (say that ten times fast) I think of naked ladies first and foremost and naked ladies - though certainly fine, perfectly fine, more than adequate even, in their way! - don't really grab hold of me. I'm sure you're flabbergasted by that statement. Thing is, what a wanker I am - when I was at FSLC the night before last for that John Waters & Isabelle Huppert event the preview for the Metzger event made it clear - there are plenty of dudes being exploited up in these movies too! As you can see up top - that shot, which I judiciously edited to make my point, is of Nino Castelnuovo in Camille 2000, one of the skin-flicks they're showing; you might recall Nino as the quite gorgeous leading man in The Umbrellas of Cherbourg? We're a big fan anyway

So once I had this realization I went looking at the other flick they're showing - the one called Score sounds and looks promising on the guy front, too. They describe it as basically a porny version of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, if Richard Burton had paired off with George Segal while Liz scissored with Sandy Dennis in another room. Only with people you'd actually want to watch have sex instead.


Good Morning, World

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Kellan, why so pensive? So lost in, dare I say it, thought? Are you angry that the third Expendables leaked online? Did Jason Statham break a promise? Do not be sad, Kellan Lutz. You are, after all, Kellan Lutz. Yes, that is your hand, and yes those, those are your biceps, inhumanly ballooned. All is well again. (The rest of us can hit the jump for a couple more pictures, leaving him to sort out whatever existential queries that're very nearly putting an expression on his face.)

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Going Gentle Into That Good Night

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This first pair of official stills from Jake Gyllenhaal's upcoming flick Nightcrawler (via) are only reinforcing my considerable self-loathing - where once I glared at this movie with fiery disapproval for forcing my favorite fella to drop an unhealthy amount of poundage now, with every new reveal, I realize what a simpleminded surface-minded fool I was. That poster and teaser trailer we saw last week, the first viral clip with Jake going bonkers, and now these pictures... well if I'm going to be surface-minded these are some goddamned lovely surfaces to focus that energy upon. Click 'em to embiggen the beauty - Robert Elswit gone done it again.


Let Your Hair Down, Isabelle Huppert

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if you follow me on any social media platform other than this blog (they're all linked there in the sidebar) then you probably saw me freaking out last night (well you did if you weren't part of the rampaging Sharknado Borg, that is) about my lil' visit to the Film Society of Lincoln Center where they were hosting "A Conversation With Isabelle Huppert" that was being conducted by the one the only John Waters. Okay I mentioned it here at the blog too. I sung it everywhere, I did, because I was fit to spill with enthusiasm. Did it live up to my hype?

Well duh. The first time I saw Huppert in person was a couple of years ago for a Q&A for the Denis film White Material and she was desperately, hilariously uninvolved in the process, sitting with her arms angrily crossed barely answering anything. I said then that this was "EXACTLY what I want from Isabelle Huppert," and I stand by that - it was like The Piano Teacher came to life on that stage, it was awesome. Last night was a whole 'nother ball o' wax though - Waters clearly perked her up and she was a very different Huppert. Enthusiastic, funny, charming. She was super. My favorite part came early when she mentioned the list of Serious Directors that Waters had rattled off that she'd worked with - she said she'd love to add his name to that roster and then looked down, mimed gigantic breasts a la Selma Blair in A Dirty Shame, and said she might have to change herself a little to fit into one of his films, though.

After the interview I wondered if maybe some of the older Upper West Side crowd might've not known what to make of their repartee, which touched on Michael Haneke, abortion, and genitalia mutilation with equal enthusiasm, and so I was happy to read in this other person's recap from the night (thanks Mac) that they had an old lady flabbergasted near them by the ordeal. How perfect! I can only pray that some of these types show up to the retrospective of Waters' films in September, too.We can all terrify the blue-hairs together.


Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Do Dump or Marry: DDM the MMA

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Well I've been posting so much about this MMA show Kingdom (see here yesterday for proof) that I certainly must take advantage of the fact that it's now got a trailer, and a trailer at that stuffed to the gills with what MMA is all about... namely piling terrifically hot dudes on top of one another in the name of insert manly-man-phrasing here. There's lots of this:

In this case the three main terrifically hot dudes are played by the three fellows you up top - from left to middle to right that's Nick Jonas, Frank Grillo, and Jonathan Tucker. Here's the trailer...
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... and here are the dudes. Nick Jonas...

... and Frank Grillo...

... and Jonathan Tucker...

And now in the interest of something not really like science at all I am asking you to make your "Do Dump or Marry" opinions on this threesome known in the comments.

Oh and in case you need more convincing one way or another, hit the jump for more caps from that trailer because really it is a total beefcake fest from start to finish.

Lights, Camera, Jonzey

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Spike Jonze is going to be on Girls next season! (thanks Mac) No word on who he'll be playing, but my first thought was, "A director who gets Adam Driver onto the casting couch" so let's hope Lena Dunham's right where I'm at, head-wise. it definitely wouldn't be the first time. (Oh and just cuz I'd never posted these before hit the jump for a random pair of very NSFW Adam Driver gifs I felt like making after being inspired by my own words.)

Thursday's Ways Not To Die

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"You will never escape my vengeance, or of Satan's! 
My revenge will seek you out, 
and with the blood of your sons, 
and of their sons, and their sons, 
I will continue to live forever! 
They will restore me to life you now rob from me!"



Black Sunday (1960)

The great horror director Mario Bava 
was born 100 years ago today!

I feel like he should probably be waking up 
from a gypsy or witch curse right about now?

Links to all the previous Ways Not To Die after the jump...

I Am Link

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--- Bathed In Gold - Somebody figure out the riddle of who Robert Pattinson is talking here in Esquire UK:

"This actress was doing a scene in the bath and she kept complaining about the temperature, how it was too hot or too cold. So everyone pissed in it and put a bunch of bubble bath in afterwards so you couldn’t smell it! This stuff happens. That’s why I avoid asking for anything. I don’t want to get anyone’s piss on me."

Michael at DListed thinks it could have been Reese Witherspoon on the set of Water For Elephants, which sounds possible given Reese's reputation. But there are also a couple of actresses in that Bel Ami movie he was in (no not the Eastern European porn, unfortunately) I could see this going down with. So who has a bath scene? It's not like I'm watching any of these movies myself.

--- Getting Wet - That girl pretending that a cardigan makes her shy and dumpy in the Fifty Shades of Grey trailer has just been cast in the new movie from I Am Love director Luca Guadagnino, which is one we've been following ever since I Am Love wowed us so hard, but with her casting comes more info than we've had so far - it's going to be called A Bigger Splash and it's a remake of the 1969 flick La Piscine, which starred Romy Schneider and Alain Delon as a couple who get into a love triangle with the younger Jane Birkin. I've never seen La Piscine, but I have seen Alain Delon in it...

... I really should see La Piscine. The most important news I haven't even gotten to - in this here remake, Tilda Swinton and Ralph Fiennes are playing the older couple. Yeah, we all live or die by this movie now. It is everything.

--- Tom's Friend - My current favorite ginger whose named doesn't rhyme with ass-bender has a new job - Domhnall Gleeson is going to be in that Leonardo Dicaprio / Tom Hardy movie The Revenant that I can only get mildly excited about because A) I don't really love Leo and B) it's being directed by Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, blecch. But still, we do love Domhnall, and maybe he'll play Tom hardy's boyfriend or something.

--- Monster Maker - I wasn't as crazy-in-love with Wadjda as a lot of people seemed to be (my review) but I do find it interesting that its director is making a movie about Frankenstein author Mary Shelley starring Elle Fanning next - that's a leap! The movie will be about her romance with Percy Shelley when she was 17, before she wrote the book that would come to define her.

--- Crouching Hot Piece - I'm glad to see that Harry Shum Jr. is getting a gig somewhere off of Glee, because, uh, well because he is a hot piece, full stop. (More pictures here.) I have no idea if he can act. Anyway Harry is bringing his abs to the Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon sequel! The choreographer of the fight scenes in Ang Lee's original movie is playing director this time, but Michelle Yeoh is returning to the role she was so so good in. Another hot piece, Donnie Yen, is co-starring.

--- Note To Self - read this long piece on the making of David Ayer's Fury (I mean Haircut: The Movie) over at The New York Times on your lunch break. (thanks Mac) There are several pictures of Brad Pitt's haircut to break up the monotony of all them words, thankfully.
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