Thursday, June 30, 2011

Somebody Needs To Stop Me

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Seriously, somebody talk me out of this. I just found out I have tomorrow off from work and I can feel my brain convincing me that I should waste my afternoon by going to see Transformers 3. Michael Bay movies make me crazy. CRAZY. Every single one of them. They make me rue the existence of life itself. And yet I am drawn to them, over and over again, like some sort of brain-damaged masochist. I forced myself to stop with Transformers 2 - that's another thing: I've never seen the second film, however will I keep up with the plot? - in the wake of its "worst film ever made" reviews even from the fan-boys, but now everybody's saying T3's 3D is the best since Avatar and I do really dig the image of that snake robot crushing the building that's in the trailer and Frances McDormand and Alan Tudyk as, and I quote, "a gay ex-Nazi manservant in a weird suit," and ACK make me stop!
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9 comments:

Joe Reid said...

I'm somehow reminded of the line at 3:27 of this clip: http://youtu.be/F7J02CRoYUk

tara said...

You're better than this, JA. I just know it.

Kristi said...

Don't do it. Resist.

amola-tesouras said...

There was no plot in Transformers 2. You have nothing to keep up with.

Think about this: at least part of the money you pay for your ticket will end up directly in Michael Bay's pocket and will validate him into making more garbage.

I'm very much a fan of Transformers (and Peter Cullen's Optimus Prime), but not that, and not Alan Tudyk, and not even Leonard Nimoy (as the voice of Sentinel Prime) will make me pay money to see this movie.

RJ said...

I'm so right there with you, and I haven't seen 1 or 2.

Jason Adams said...

Joe - I watched that clip without sound the first time and I guessed the line you were getting at was "Yeah, a landlord's dream: a paralyzed tenant with no tongue." and that somehow made total sense too! But yes, Bay is laughing at us, it's true.

Tara - It's very kind of you to say so! I have my doubts though.

I went back and read my review of the first Transformers right now, which I remember loathing but it's been so long I couldn't remember precisely why, and chuckled to see that my entire review's about having gotten high in order to meet my expectations of its storytelling and still finding the film idiotic.

Y'all are helping, thank you. Roger Ebert's scathing review reminded me of all I fear as well. I think I might get out of this one, y'all!

anonymoose said...

What about the children?

Joe Reid said...

Haha, no I meant when the one guy whispers "You got what you deserved."

I guess it makes sense that every line in Seven is somehow a commentary on why you shouldn't see Transformers.

John T said...

Shia and Josh Duhamel may or may not have a sex scene...in 3D. Could you risk missing that?