Battling with Eli Roth's "Thanksgiving" trailer as my favorite faux-trailer from Grindhouse is Edgar "Shaun of the Dead" Wright's "Don't!", which had me practically peeing myself with laughter.
Here's Mr. Wright talking to Rotten Tomatoes about the trailer, in response to a question of what a feature-leangth version of "Don't!" would have to look like:
""If it was [turned] into a feature, it'd have to be like Dario Argento and 'Suspiria,'" said Wright. "'Suspiria' is I think one of the few films that feels like a dream you've had when you've had too much cheese. It's just like the weirdest bad dream you've ever had. I love those films that have the nightmare logic and don't really have any plots or story. It's just like horrible bad dream after bad dream."
Currently a collection of snippets with a narrator telling the characters not to do things, "Don't" is already a spoof of European horror trailers. "The thing about my trailer, unlike maybe the other ones, is that the whole point of it is that there's no plot. Sometimes you see some of those trailers for European films and you're thinking, 'I have no idea what the f*ck that is about.' My idea to make it look like it was a 90 minute film condensed is to have a different actor in every single shot so it seems like its a new cast every [scene]. Nobody ever reoccurs. So in like 90 seconds there's like 30 actors in it which is crazy.""
You can see "Don't!" right here; though, if you've not seen Grindhouse yet, DON'T! you dare click on that link; just head to your nearest movie theater right this second, or I shall slap you about the face and neck.
I actually DON'T! think a feature-length version would work with any of the trailers from Grindhouse; they're all predicated on the gags specific to their types of trailers, and we're seeing all the good bits already. I mean, I have faith that Roth or especially Wright could translate them into full-length, but it might be beating a dead pony by that point. Pony cuz they're short, see? Sigh.
Anyway, DON'T! (I'll stop that now) forget - Wright's highly anticipated next flick with the Shaun guys, Hot Fuzz, comes out on April 20th!
That's nine stinking days!!!