Thursday, November 26, 2009

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

The Ice Storm (1999)

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Wendy Hood: Dear Lord, thank you for this Thanksgiving holiday. And for all the material possessions we have and enjoy. And for letting us white people kill all the Indians and steal their tribal lands. And stuff ourselves like pigs, even though children in Asia are being napalmed.

And in a happenstance of holiday-themed karmic convergence, Glenn just gave thanks for this scene over at The Film Experience this morning! I wrote up this post yesterday along with the Addams-era Ricci Turkey Day love and Glenn's right on: cinematically speaking we all do need to recognize Ricci's ownership of this holiday. So give thanks for Christina Ricci today. And somebody give her more jobs worthy of her skill. Do it! On this both Pilgrims and Indians agree!

Oh and I gave thanks at The Film Experience for Greta Gerwig's Eighties hair and the lure of evil pizza, so check that too.
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Today's Mood

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Happy Turkey Day, y'all!
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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:


Wednesday Addams: "We cannot break bread with you.

You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, you will play golf, and enjoy hot hors d'oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, 'Do not trust the Pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller.'

And for all these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground."
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I'm Really Digging V...

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... is anybody else?

First off, I haven't watched last night's episode so nobody ruin it for me! I am holding off since lord knows when we're getting the next episode. I wonder if ABC realized what a predicament they've put themselves in now that they shut down production on the show and it's turned out to be a hit. Guess we'll have to wait and see what happens in Spring or whenever the hell it returns.

But for now, I am digging the show. The teen romance is blah but its cross-species counterpart in the original series was too from what I remember. And I just enjoy watching Elizabeth Mitchell cup her mug in that very specific Mitchell-ian mug-cupping way, and Alan Tudyk running around being his sexy lipless albino self, and can I hear a holla of agreement that Morena Baccarin is rocking this show like nobody's business? Love her every second of lizard-necked screentime. Can't wait to watch her deep-throat that gnarly rodent! No, not Scott Wolf.

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Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...


... taking these pictures of James Remar (spitting image of Chris Cooper there, no?) and Antonio Sabato Jr. completely out of context as to make them seem somehow of a sexual nature. Oh wait! That's exactly what I am doing! Funny, that. Well nevermind then. Today's Delusion is a reality! Hooray for America!

Here are a couple more shots of Antonio in this movie
- it's called Guilty As Charged (of course it is) - just cuz...

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Ryan Phillippe Four Times

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Quote of the Day

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Loved this bit from the end of Roger Ebert's review of Wes Anderson's Fantastic Mr. Fox (a film I still feel like curling up inside of even a week later):

"Children, especially, will find things they don't understand, and things that scare them. Excellent. A good story for children should suggest a hidden dimension, and that dimension of course is the lifetime still ahead of them. Six is a little early for a movie to suggest to kids that the case is closed. Oh, what if the kids start crying about words they don't know? -- Mommy, Mommy! What's creme brulee?" Show them, for goodness sake. They'll thank you for it."
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So I Just Got My Copy Of Under the Dome...

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... in the mail, and OH MY GOD this book is ENORMOUS.

That's all.
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Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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A Face That Only A Motherfucker Could Love

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Wow is it too early for such a headline? Well I couldn't help myself, that was the sentence that went immediately through my head when looking at this picture (via, click him to embiggen... if you dare!) of an action figure of the new Freddy Krueger played by Jackie Earle Haley in the remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street out on April 30th. It's our first clear look at what the new scarred-up face will look like.

Yick.

Say what you will about the studio Platinum Dunes horror-remakes (and I have, many many times), but I have high hopes for Haley's interpretation of this character.

Speaking of, he ought to have Oscar buzz for Watchmen. No I am not kidding.
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Good Morning, World

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And good morning, Daniel Radcliffe. (via)
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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

"Tony is a little boy that lives in my mouth."

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It's a very Shining sorta day! Must be everybody thinking about going off for the holiday and being trapped with their relatives for a bit, huh? Earlier this afternoon I scrapped a post I was working on with regards to Kubrick's film, then I saw this educational post over at Final Girl, and now this possibly amazing news from Horror Squad:

"Gotta love the book tour Stephen King is currently on to promote Under the Dome. First he tells a crowd in Maryland that he has written a draft of the television screenplay for Cell, that HBO wants to do an Under the Dome miniseries, and that he is working on new Talisman and The Dark Tower novels. And now an even bigger bombshell comes: he's got a plan for a sequel to The Shining brewing in the back of his always-working mind.

...tentatively titled Doctor Sleep. King explained that he had spent the last summer wondering what Danny Torrance would be like as a grown up and how the emotional scars carved into his psyche by the Overlook Hotel would have impacted the path of his otherwise happy life. The author charts the basic premise thusly:

"Danny is now 40 years old and living in upstate New York, where he works as the equivalent of an orderly at a hospice for the terminally ill. Danny's real job is to visit with patients who are just about to pass on to the other side, and to help them make that journey with the aid of his mysterious powers. Danny also has a sideline in betting on the horses, a trick he learned from his buddy Dick Hallorann."
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Whimper Bang

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I can't believe this didn't occur to me earlier, but when confronted with the comparison in the NYT review of The Road I've realized what a perfect double-feature these two movies will make! Watch The Road first, get all that horrible despair outta the way, and then wash it down and smooth it out with the epically silly flip-side of the same end-of-the-world coin that is Roland Emmerich's 2012. Sounds like the perfect way to spend the day after stuffing your face to me. (course we're talking about nearly five hours of movie between them so it's a bit of an ass-crippling commitment... hrm...)

What movies do y'all need to see over the holiday? Besides these two I've got oh approximately five billion movies to try and catch. You?
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"I mean, I couldn't have a lesbian at my party."

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"There were gonna be girls there in their bathing suits.
I mean, right? She was a LESBIAN."
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Alex Pettyfer Eight Times

I suppose I'd be remiss not offering these up (via) as a necessary follow-up to my gratuitous post on Mr. Pettyfer last week. And nobody wants nobody to be remiss not never!


He looks great, obviously, but am I strange for finding the shot of his mouth hanging open with the half-chewed chewing gum on his tongue (second shot down on the right) positively nauseating? Seriously, it made my stomach turn. Gross, dude.
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68 Seconds Of Rain Working Out

Here's a clip of what I think must be
the most important scene in all of Ninja Assassin.

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Make sure you hit that button to make the video larger!
And here are few screen-caps... Ninja's out tomorrow.

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Paranormal For The Holidays

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Well that's quick. The DVD for Paranormal Activity is due out in five weeks. Says STYD:

"Paramount Home Entertainment has officially announced December 29th as the DVD/Blu-Ray release of Paranormal Activity.

The Paranormal Activity DVD is presented in widescreen enhanced for 16:9 televisions with Dolby Digital English 5.1 Surround and Spanish 5.1 Surround (theatrical version only) and English, French and Spanish subtitles.

The two-disc Blu-ray is presented in 1080p high definition with English 5.1 DTS-HD Master Audio and Spanish 5.1 Dolby Digital (theatrical version only) and English, English SDH, French and Spanish subtitles. Special features include:
- Unrated version with alternate ending not seen in theaters
- Digital copy of theatrical version (Blu-ray only)"

Oh yes, y'all, make sure you get this for Blu-Ray, I'm sure you'll see every cent of the 11,000 bucks it cost up there on your screen. Ack.

While I still maintain that the film was fun (although decidedly not groundbreaking or earth-shatteringly terrifying like it's been sold to be) I have to admit a bit of a cynicism when it comes to the marketing machine that pushed this film on us now. Especially with the email I got this morning pushing this special edition DVD on me with all these bells and whistles (it comes with a t-shirt! A t-shirt! Whee!) because "You were one of the ones who made it happen! You demanded it!" Oh hooray for me! I made Steven Spielberg a buncha more money! I can sleep better tonight, for sures. Ugh. I feel used.
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Happy 45, Garrett Dillahunt

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I'd say that it's pretty effed up that it took your role as a raping, murdering psychopath in the Last House remake to make me fully appreciate your offbeat attractiveness, but then I wouldn't be acknowledging all the other psychopaths I've found myself attracted to in the past, and that would be a silly bout of hypocrisy on my part. Silly! So anyway, happy birthday you sexy creep!

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A Little Tarrrrrget Practice

What can possibly be said about a classic film sixty-two years old, I ask myself? Well here's a pair of nits I gotta pick with Orson Welles otherwise entertaining 1947 film The Lady From Shanghai. They probably been picked before, but oh well, it's my eternal curse to be a redundant buffoon.

1 - Orson's accent was horrible. Just horrible. I kept expecting him to try and sell me on the worth of his pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, and green clovers. Aye, my deary, and you'll never find my potta gold! So, so distracting.

2 - Rita Hayworth was not meant to be that blond.


I mean sure, she's still Rita Hayworth, with all the genetic perks that being Rita Hayworth encompassed, but the darker longer hair she had in Gilda a couple of years earlier there on the left suits her better, I think. I mean, I don't think I'm alone in believing this - there's probably a reason her hair-flip in Gilda is Hayworth's iconic moment. And yes, I spent time of my life not only contemplating this but posting on this. I need to sit down with myself and have a talk.

Oh let's all waste some time then!

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Anyway besides those bits there's obviously much to recommend. The final scene in the mirrored fun-house deserves to be as iconic as it is - a truly astonishing visual set-piece.


And there are reams of dialogue to savor as well; I loved this speech by one of the sailors:

"What's a tough guy?...A guy with an edge...A gun or a knife, a nightstick, or a razor, somethin' the other guy ain't got. Yeah, a little extra reach on a punch, a set of brass knuckles, a stripe on the sleeve, a badge that says cop on it, a rock in your hand, or a bankroll in your pocket. That's an edge, brother. Without an edge, there ain't no tough guy."

Now that right there's a valuable life lesson.
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Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Monday, November 23, 2009

Boo! Crazy Person Here!

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If y'all wanna click on over to The Film Experience this afternoon I sorta ranted about the lack of awards buzz around Tilda Swinton's performance in the film Julia - something I've talked up before and before and before and before - and how that makes me a whole buncha mixed-up emotions like sad and angry and angry and sad. Angry! Sad! Angry!

And from there I put out the call for anyone with a dead horse in the Oscar race to stick the defibrillator paddles of their own enthusiasm against their dead horse of a candidate and buzz them full of hype just for a moment in the comments. So... uh, do that. If you wanna.
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And Here's A Spot For The Descent: Part II

For.

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This movie's out soon in the UK,
but still no word on here. Sigh.
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The Moment I Fell For... Jean-Claude Van Damme

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Ahh now there's some memories. What an integral part of my development this scene played! Who would I have been without it? I don't want to know. What a horrid beast I might have turned out to be, if not for the constantly dropped-trou of JCVD. Thank you, sir. Thank you. His ass ought to be one of the wonders of the world. Niagara Falls ain't got nothin' on it. It puts the Grand Canyon to shame!

I was reminded of this, by the way, because apparently there's a new Universal Soldier film on the horizon starring both Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren. News via Slash. If Jean-Claude is up to reminding us of his ass's hey-day than I am up to participating in this communal re-appreciation thereof (psst, Jean-Claude, that's just fancy talk for "Show us your ass again, man!").
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Here's One Way To Spend A Few Minutes

You could find worse ways to waste a smidge of your day than by clicking over here and scoping out a large bunch of images of Jamie Bamber being a hot-piece in his direct-to-DVD Pulse sequel. Here are my five faves:


He is sorta making the same perplexed and/or constipated face in all of these shots buy hey, it works. It's the sexiest damn constipation I ever done seen! Now for the third film they just need to get him to show off constipation without his shirt. (thanks Mac)
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Today's Mood

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Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans in 150 Words or Less

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Not nearly as nutty as advertised!

I suppose it's another case of my expectations beforehand getting in the way of my viewing of actual film - an occurrence far too usual now that I spend every day nose-deep in that shit - but this is a far less insane movie than I planned on seeing.

Cage is better than he's been in anything I've seen him in in years but I've spent the bulk of the past several years actively avoiding him in anything so I've missed plenty. That said, the film, save a couple very funny bits, never socked me in the gut or rattled my brain like I'd hoped for.

I do find the strange final ten minutes or so sort of fascinating though, in a way that might invite a second viewing. I don't think that ending is what the surface is selling it to be.
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Gael Eight Times

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Quotes of the Day

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I'm mashing together two different bits into one post because I can. Deal with it! First up, in an interview with Werner Herzog at AICN, Herzie's asked (yes I called him "Herzie") about something Nic Cage said recently, that they ought to do a sequel to their Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans that follows Val Kilmer's character and call it Badder Lieutenant. Herzog just laughs and says this:

"As usual, I have a home invasion of burglars of five, six, or seven other feature films that are pushing me, so no. I haven’t made AGUIRRE 2, 3, 4, and 5 either, so I wouldn’t completely exclude it, but at the moment I’m really headed for other things."

Who else but Werner Herzog would categorize his artistic impulse as a home invasion and his films as burglars? And I might just spend the rest of the day picturing what Aguirre would look like as a big budget franchise with multiple sequels.

And that poster image there at the top is via this gallery at AICN of fan-made posters for the movie which y'all oughta check out; there are some great ones in there.

And secondly! Listen, I flirt with a deep-seated hatred of the Twilight franchise myself, based pretty much entirely off of Stephanie Meyers' Mormonism, but even though a good deal of the massive amount of money the second film made this weekend might find its way into that monstrous religion's coffers I can't help but find a great deal of humor at watching the Dark Knight fan-boys splutter and rant and rave about their precious pathetic box-office records being beaten by - gasp! - a bunch of tween girls! Not girls! The horror! The cooties!

All that isn't my second point at all but I felt the need to get it off my chest. No my second point is even if the film sucks I'm glad that director Chris Weitz got a successful fantasy flick out there after the failure of his Golden Compass film and is taking the opportunity to finally let off some steam about the latter's failure. Weitz says (via) the studio took Compass away from him and cut out 30 minutes, and that:

"It was an utter violation of my status as a director and the worst thing that has happened to me professionally. I was treated badly, it was almost like they never read the books. They seemed frightened of offending the right."

Weitz always seemed to get the books better than the final film did so I always wondered what sort of compromises were crammed down his throat. A shame. There's a great trilogy to be made out of Phillip Pullman's series and I guess we're never gonna get it. Boo.
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A Henry Cavill Tidbit

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Along with Michael Fassbender and Sam Worthington, I do believe Henry Cavill might take the Holy Spirit spot in my holy trinity of new-favorite-hot-pieces that I will post any and all news on. Case in point! Awhile back - right at the same time that we heard Sam Worthington was taking on Clash of the Titans actually, and since that film's finished filming and already released its first trailer I think that proves this news here today's slowness in arriving - we heard that Cavill was gonna star in an epic Myth film of his own, to be directed by Tarsem, director of The Cell and The Fall. Now comes this little blurb via Production Weekly's Twitter:

"Tarsem's mythological tale "Dawn Of War" (aka “War Of Gods”) has setup offices at La Cité du Cinéma in Montreal, a March start is planned."

So it's still happening. The Fall took years and years to get around to being finished and released so I suppose we shouldn't be surprised by this one's slow start. And that film's lingered in my mind all year much as The Cell did, at least visually I mean for both - his images tend to imprint themselves on your brain. So if nothing else expect some wild and crazy visuals and costumes, and Henry Cavill to look positively stunning. As if he could look anything but.

Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Good Morning, World

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And a happy birthday to Vincent Cassel today. I suppose he doesn't need a birthday wish from me or anybody though, presumably waking up beside Monica Bellucci every morning like he does in this scene from Irreversible though. Although I count her as the fortunate one in this situation.

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Friday, November 20, 2009

Jake, With And Without

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Okay. Sure. Courage, VO5 conditioner, whatever. (via)
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Well I'm Off To The Dentist Now...

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Wish my teeth (and my sanity) luck.

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Why Are You Wearing That Stupid Man Suit

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There really isn't a whole bunch more I can say regarding my love for Richard Kelly's Donnie Darko at this point, but I attempted to spin my love for the film into a word-salad (using a word-salad-spinner, of course) over at The Film Experience this afternoon.


See, Nat's running through the decade that's about to have been, these here Aughts, and he's up to 2001 and when I think 2001 oh I could say something about The Royal Tenebaums or Mulholland Drive or In the Mood For Love or any other of the great cineaste achievements from that year but really I just wanna think about awesome late-80s worm-hole theories by Roberta Sparrow and scream, "Chut up!" at the world.


So I did. And I didn't even get around to the part
where Jake sticks his hands down his pants!


That's respectable me over there, see. Respectable!
Classy, and junk! Not like here where I just barf everywhere.
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Bardem Four Times

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With a new Almodóvar film out today my thoughts turn to the Pedro's films and from there to his men (naturally) and from there to Javier (even more naturally). All roads lead to Bardem! Except for unfortunately the one to my bedroom. Or bathroom. Or kitchen floor. Or taxicab backseat, laundromat closet, alleyway, bell-tower... the point being, Bardem. Yes.

But back to Broken Embraces: when did this film stop being a priority for me? Word's been pretty mixed and there are a lot of movies out right now that I've got to get to, but an Almodóvar film is always, even with the lesser ones, something to be seen in glorious color on a big screen. Alas.


But speaking of "in glorious color on a big screen," I got to see Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger's 1948 film The Red Shoes "in glorious color on a big screen" just last night! See my previous post devoted to that movie here. It was the last night of a remastered print and I just wanted to lick the screen.


Well this post was all over the place and I didn't even get around to discussing how great I think the name "Emeric" is and how it ought to make a comeback. But I do, and it ought to. So there.
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Well Hello There, Dave Franco

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This is James Franco's younger brother, Dave Franco. I sort of remember seeing him in one of those Funny Or Die videos that James did awhile ago. But I don't think I really saw him, if ya know what I mean, like I am seeing him in the above photograph.

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In related news, Franco the James finally and at last popped up on General Hospital yesterday! Yes, this is a thing, that happened. Watch it! (via)

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Sorority Boys 2: Puttin' on the Titz

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So this is the point in my life where I turn into a lowbrow madcap comedy of the sexes and don drag in order to move into a girl's dormitory then, huh? I guess I should've been expecting it. Via Gawker:

"Marble-eyed Englishman Jude Law made the mistake of moving into a condo right next door to an NYU dorm.

... Freshman NYU ladies come running to windows of their dorm every time Jude Law comes out on his balcony. The reason for this, again: Jude Law lives in a condo with a balcony that is towered over by a dormitory full of 18 year-olds."

Hmm, I just realized that nowhere does it say that this is specifically a female dormitory, the original article at The Post just talks about the females doing the viewing and only gets quotes from them. So I guess maybe I won't have to turn myself into a teen comedy about my fake boobs popping comically after all. Oh well. I guess I'll just have to fake-romance an eighteen year old NYU student to gain access to their Jude Law overlook. Doin' it the old-fashioned way.

And those catty snoops took pictures to boot!


Loving his downward-facing-dog. What is it with me sexualizing the stars and their yoga positions this week? Golly. My chakra must be all hot n' bothered. I have no idea what I just said.
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I Am Link

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--- Chrome Dome - Is anybody out there reading Stephen King's new one Under the Dome? It completely slid past my radar until last week when I saw Janet Maslin's rave review in the NYT and I reeeally wanna be reading it right now but am forcing myself to work through at least a few books off the massive heap that's collected on my dresser before I go and buy a new one. Even though I want that one! That one now! It's always like this - I never get any old reading done because there's always something new and flashy to play with for a bit.

Anyway! As I'm sure you've seen elsewhere by now Steven Spielberg has picked up the rights for turning the book into a TV series. Cool and junk.

--- Clearing the Eyre - As long as we're talking books, here's a lil' factoid: somehow I graduated with a degree in English without ever flipping open a copy of Jane Eyre in my entire life. So there's that. Higher education works! I've never even seen a film version. But I will have seen a film version once this one is out: DH reports that Michael Fassbender has signed on to play "Rochester" opposite Tim Burton's Alice (aka Mia Wasikowska) in an adaptation of Charlotte Bronte's classic. And as I've made clear as of late, I'm rather fond of Michael Fassbender. Rather fond indeed. Swoon.

--- The Darkest Knight - If today is a day that ends in "day" then it is a good day to look at gratuitous shots of Christian Bale playing Patrick Bateman, yes? Yes.

--- Best Boo - Also over at Billy Loves Stu is a run-down of Pax's favorite horror films of the year 2009 via their posters. In a galaxy far far away when I finally get around to even starting to think about my Best of '09 list you will see many of these movies represented, at least in the Horror categories. Mostly* good stuff! (*mostly refers to Pax's love for Grace, which we disagree upon; that movie just did not work for me.)

--- Bare Your Claus - Comic genius Mike White is writing a script called Santa Wars, which is based off of a segment from NPR's This American Life. The story's about "rival factions that developed within a union of professional Santa Clauses who became arch enemies during a Santa Claus civil war." So basically Bad Santas.

--- And finally, go wish Final Girl a happy 1000th post! Thank her one thousand times! She deserves to be slapped raw with high fives, dammit!
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Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Quote of the Day

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Or perhaps of the year. We'll have to see how it goes when the next season of True Blood rolls around. But until then, here's Alexander Skarsgard talking about what we can expect from the show's third season (via):

"I’m extremely excited to get naked!

... There’s a lot of nudity. As far as Eric goes, there’s going to be a lot violence and a lot of sex — with women and men! So it should be interesting.”

"Interesting" is one word. It has eleven letters. Four syllables. Do these pieces actually capture the essence of what that "it" is? What that "it" promises to be? No they do not.
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Happy 38, Joel McHale

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Thursday, November 19, 2009

Romain Duris Six Times

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Guess it's just A Very Duris Kinda Day today...
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Further Quotes of the Day

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Oh hooray, the second Twilight film has at least brought about this one good thing: it's given Roger Ebert the always-exciting task of writing up a string of hilarious take-downs. His whole review's a gas so go over and read it, but I'm gonna just go ahead and quote all my favorite bits here...

"The characters in this movie should be arrested for loitering with intent to moan. Never have teenagers been in greater need of a jump-start. Granted some of them are more than 100 years old, but still: their charisma is by Madame Tussaud."

"Edward and Bella spend murky moments glowering at each other and thinking, So, here we are again."

"Edward (Robert Pattinson) is back in school, repeating the 12th grade for the 84th time. Bella sees him in the school parking lot, walking toward her in slow-motion, wearing one of those Edwardian Beatles jackets with a velvet collar, pregnant with his beauty. How white his skin, how red his lips. The decay of middle age may transform him into the Joker."

"Long pauses interrupt longer ones."
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Oh and one other thing from Roger today - his review of the just-mentioned-in-my-previous-post Werner Herzog film Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call, New Orleans points out that Jennifer Coolidge is in that movie!


I did not know that Jennifer Coolidge was in that movie, I do not think! Awesome! He says of her character:

"Coolidge, with great screen presence as always, changes gears and plays a MI-wouldn't-LF."

So that rocks my face off.
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A Very Werner Herzog Holiday Time!

Like Bob Cratchit before me, this season I have been blessed. No, not with a crippled child that won't shut the hell up, but rather a pair of Werner Herzog movies in theaters all within the space of the next few holly-riddled weeks! Hooray!


Opening tomorrow is Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (sidenote: I deserve a pat on the back because that's the first time I have ever spelled "lieutenant" right without having to spell-check it in my life right there) in which vaunted-ham Nicolas Cage reportedly stares at an iguana for several minutes. So there.

And opening in 22 days (that is, December 11th) is My Son My Son What Have Ye Done? (sidenote #2: there will be no letters left for the cinema marquees once these two movies are out at once), Herzog's story of a man, his mother, and the samurai sword that came between them. That one stars quickly-becoming-an-MNPP-fave Michael Shannon. So so there.

Anyway, Werner Herzog is by my estimations one of the best film-makers working on the planet today and I will see anything he is willing to give me and I will be happy with whatever the hell that is, amen. So thanks for blessing the season, Werner! The merriest of misanthropes, indeed!
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Quote of the Day

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Jarett, I'm sure you don't mind me swiping this quote wholesale from you over at PopWrap, it's just too good and too up my alley not to, ya know? So thanks for posting it and alerting me to such a thing being said. You rule. Anyway, here's Sigourney "Siggy" Weaver speaking of James Cameron's Avatar:

"People are going to piss themselves again and again and again. Because it's just one amazing scene after the other."

I mean, am I right or am I right? Sigourney Weaver and involuntary torrents of piss! Two of my favorite things! Wait, what? Uhh. Kidding! I am kidding. God.

But seriously, she could be talking about the fact that the film's apparently around three hours long, as well. Skip the soda, remember the catheter. That's my motto! Oh god make me stop.
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Deathus Interruptus

Ah jeez! Jeez, I say.

For the second week in a row Thursday's Ways Not To Die will not be happening. Ugh. My apologies, again. It's been one of "those" weeks and I'd put this off to the last minute and I can't get the DVD to play on my computer here at work, so no, not gonna happen. Oh well. Next week! Next week for sure!

Hrm, here's an idea... let's just pretend this is it, for now:



I mean, this is a death scene I will obviously give bigger better love to once Inglourious comes out on DVD (on December 15th! So soon!) and I can post nice big clear crisp images of Eli and Eli's swarthy wife-beater'd big-bat shenanigans, but until then we can enjoy it thus. I guess.

Point being, Bear Jew! Bear Jew! Bear Jew! Hooray!
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Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Steve Zahn's Aptly-Named Plow Position

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Reader request! A few weeks back I did a nice hefty gratuitous post on the adorable actor Steve Zahn. Then just earlier this week it was brought to my attention by commenter Michael that there is a scene of gratuity in Zahn's film-work that has gone unattended to by the internet-machine so far! Quelle horreur! Apparently in the 2001 comedy (and I use that word broadly here) Saving Silverman (which also stars Jason Biggs, Amanda Peet, and Jack Black), Zahn is shown doing some "naked yoga." Well I could scarcely let such a thing go undocumented, now could I? So here tis, in all its glory: Mr. Steve Zahn elucidating the glory of the imagination-revving-ly named "plow position" in the film Saving Silverman...

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I Am Link

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--- The All Sam Express - Continuing with my self-inflicted edict of reporting all Sam Worthington news whenever it shows itself, Mr. Worthington's signed on for a new movie! It's called The Last Days of American Crime and is described thusly:

"Set in a near future where, as a final response to terrorism and crime, the U.S. government plans in secret to broadcast a signal making it impossible for anyone to knowingly commit unlawful acts.

To keep this from the public, the government creates a distraction, installing a new currency system using digital charge cards.

A not particularly successful career criminal intends to steal one of the charging stations, skip the country and live off unlimited funds for the rest of his life.

The media however has leaked news of the anti-crime signal one week before it was to go live...and now Graham and his team have just a few days to turn the crime of the century into the last crime in American history."

That's a complicated sale there, ain't it? That story is decidedly not easily boiled down to a sentence or two. Not that I demand such things! Complicated can be good! Or it can be needless complications in search of a meaning. We'll see. Still, Sam's cute! Aww. Cute.

--- Lovely Lady - There's no way I'm gonna get around to seeing her new movie, Women In Trouble, until it's on DVD, there's too much out right now and on its way, but I love Carla Gugino all the same so y'all oughta check out this interview with her if you love her too (and if you don't love her, wtf is your problem dude?). It's mostly about that film.

--- Split Up! - That's CRwM's wise theory that he's extrapolating over at And Now the Screaming Starts with regards to how one would wisely behave and therefore survive in a horror film. I think he might have something here.

--- Orphaned - Larry Fessenden, the low-budget horror director, has abandoned on the studio's doorstep in a little wicker basket the remake of the highly regarded Spanish horror flick The Orphanage. I thought the original was alright but hugely overrated, but I was definitely curious to see what Fessenden could've done with it. Alas - he was probably trying to figure out a way to cram a Wendigo into the story anyway.

--- 7 outta '09 - Over at STYD they looked at seven horror films that have not gotten released this year, and why they've been shuffled where ever the hell they've been shuffled, and when and where they might see the light of day. Ti West's abandoned Cabin Fever sequel, All the Boys Love Mandy Lane, The Poughkeepsie Tapes, and four others are represented.

--- O' Tennessee - Over there to the left is the not-half-bad poster for The Loss of a Teardrop Diamond (via), an adaptation of a Tennessee Williams play, which stars Bryce Dallas Howard and Chris Evans. I'm unfamiliar with the story so here's how they summarize it:

"Bryce Dallas Howard is Fisher Willow, the disliked 1920s Memphis debutante daughter of a plantation owner with a distaste for narrow-minded people and a penchant for shocking and insulting those around her.

After returning from studies overseas, Fisher falls in love with Jimmy (Chris Evans), the down-and-out son of an alcoholic father (David Strathairn) and an insane mother who works at a store on her family's plantation. She tries to pass him off as an upper-class suitor to appease the spinster aunt (Ann-Margret) who controls her family's fortune, but when she loses a diamond, it places their tenuous relationship in further jeopardy."

This being Tennessee Williams, I think you can forgive me for hoping that Chris Evans spends a majority of the film sweating in a wife-beater and repressing his homosexual desires. But judging from some pictures of Mr. Evans in the film that are out here on the internets, he seems to rock a tux for most of it...


Still, hot. The film's out in NYC & LA on Dec. 20th.
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Good Morning, World

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Romain is ready to rumble.
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