I Am Link

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--- 49 Shades - Apparently Jamie Dornan wants to drive people away from his 50 Shades of Grey movie, because he's out there giving interviews talking about how we won't be getting any "gratuitous" cock-shots in it - I might use the word "gratuitous" here at MNPP to label nudity, but we mean that as a compliment; we live for our gratuities. He says they don't want to "gross out" the audience... I am really rather flabbergasted by this interview, honestly; it's as if he started speaking gibberish. Somebody should make sure Dornan is alright and didn't have a stroke. (And it's not like his cock isn't already all over the internet.)

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--- Hand Me My Leather - Lots of leftover horror movie news today, I guess - the directing duo behind the French horror film Inside (that's the one with Beatrice Dalle chasing a pregnant woman with a giant pair of scissors) have been hired to make Leatherface, the prequel to The Texas Chain Saw Massacre that's been bouncing around. They do know there's already a movie called Leatherface and it has Viggo Mortensen molesting a dude? Good luck topping that.

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--- Original JC - Deadline did a lengthy interview with John Carpenter on (when else) Halloween (meaning October 31st) where he talked about (what else) Halloween (meaning the Michael Myers movies) and their sequels, on the Masters of Horror, and also on his recent battles with eye problems - I guess he's had to have several surgeries and was afraid he was going blind. Stay well, John! (thanks Mac)

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--- Raising Hell - Haven't read this long interview with Clive Barker at EW yet myself, where he talks about the just-released Director's Cut of his movie Nightbreed, but apparently he also talks about the reboot of Hellraiser coming our way, which has also bee rumored for ages. I hope he talks about the final Abarat book, which is what I am really waiting for from him.

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--- Card Shark - A writer has been hired for Channing Tatum's X-Men spin-off Gambit, some dude who's raking in tons of money for never delivering any final products (save the stillborn Robocop remake). I can't decide if it's a sweet gig he's got or a frustrating one - I am leaning towards "sweet" because even if nothing's coming together, you know dude is getting paid. Anyway, Gambit, whatever, as long as it doesn't interfere with Magic Mike 3 thru 50.

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--- Three Blind - Fede Alvarez, who made the not half bad Evil Dead remake, is teaming back up with Sam Raimi as his producer to make A Man in the Dark, which has a nice basic plot - three teenagers get more than they bargained for when they attempt to rob a blind man. Home invasions are so hot right now.

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--- War Fun - Ricky Gervais is remaking the French comedy Special Correspondents, which is about a journalist who fakes front-line war reports from a restaurant. The journalist will be played by Eric Bana, hence me caring. This sounds like a meaty fun part for Bana, who always has the "meaty" part down, since he is him. But fun sounds good!

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--- Tricked Up - A new anthology horror film called Tales of Halloween is heading our way, which basically sounds like a less-interconnected Trick r' Treat; it will tell ten stories of All Hallows, from ten different directors. Already on board, amongst others, is Neil Marshall - his name alone sells me.

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