Thursday, May 24, 2012

I Am Link

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--- Dunce Capped - I saw the word "Galifianakis" in a headline yesterday and didn't click on it because I'm in a lull in my Galifianakis like after several very bad movies - why did I watch Due Date? I was just asking for trouble - but now I see that was a mistake, because this isn't just any crap, this isn't Due Date 2 or The Hangover 3, this is the long as in as long as I've been alive practically gestating film adaptation of John Kennedy Toole's masterfully funny book A Confederacy of Dunces. Vulture lists all thirty years of this project's production woes - John Belushi died! John Candy died! Chris Farley died! Will Ferrell was too skinny! - so let's hope that our boy Zach is taking care of himself. James Bobin, the directer of The Muppets, is attached to direct, while the writer of Cedar Rapids is on scripting duties.

--- Stars Their Destination - Who'd have think that David Cronenberg's muse post-Viggo would be the sparkly vamp? He's set to make another movie with Robert Pattinson, this one set in France. The Playlist thinks it might be his Map to the Stars, which he's been angling to make for a few years, which is a thriller about Hollywood agents. I'd have thought that DC would've wanted to work with Michael Fassbender again but maybe Fassy's just too busy slash expensive now.

--- Hot Teddy - The ;GI Joe sequel - with my boyfriend Lee Byung-hun as Storm Shadow! - has been delayed to next year because they want to slap some 3D onto it. Boo. The good news I guess is that Seth MacFarlane's foul-mouthed teddy bear movie Ted has been moved ahead a month to fill its spot. Although I haven't decided whether I'll be seeing either of these movies so why am I even bothering? (Question for the ages, that.)

--- Cyber Guy - Gary Oldman is going to be in the Robocop remake. He's playing the scientist who creates the cyborg cop. Maybe he took the job because it offered the opportunity to man-handle hot piece Joel Kinnaman? That's how I'm going to read it.

--- Pissing on The Paperboy - I had zero to negative interest in Lee "Precious" Daniels' new movie The Paperboy with Nicole Kidman Matthew McConaughey and Zac Efron, until I read this extremely negative review of it, calling it "a disastrous flop" and pre-accusing anybody of enjoying it on camp terms of being a villainous simpleton. I do love the opportunity to be both of those things! But come on, Nicole Kidman PEES on Zac Efron. How am I missing this movie?

--- Preteen Wolf
 - Twelve year old Mason Cook, who was in Spy Kids 4will play the wolfboy Eddie Munster in Bryan Fuller's Munsters reboot called Mockingbird Lane. I've never seen him in anything, but he looks the part.

--- Zombie Woman
 - Hey look it's Michonne! Speaking of looking the part. Now we just have to wait and see if the damn show knows what to do with her.

--- Rimming Charlie Hunnam - I stopped reading this official synopsis for Guillermo Del Toro's giant monster movie Pacific Rim about halfway through because good lord it's a lot of ridiculous nonsense and I hope the movie takes this stuff as seriously as my rolling eyes did and doesn't spend a bunch of time relating this gobbledygook. Just give me the big things with weird limbs smashing each other, please! Oh and Charlie Hunnam making out with Idris Elba while you're at it. Thanks!

--- Forever Lost - My bud Sean looked back at the finale of Lost yesterday for its two year anniversary and I can't even tell you how right on I find every single word he had to say. Whenever Lost pops to mind I'm all, oh yeah that was a thing I liked, and then I feel bad.
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3 comments:

RJ said...

That Pacific Rim synopsis was all kinds of bonkers. What about robots and sea creatures?

Oh, and have you read Vulture's piece about The Paperboy? Apparently Lee Daniels spends the whole movie filming Zac Efron in various states of undress(!) What the what with this movie.

Smithy said...

Zac Efron in various states of undress sounds like the best movie of the year, from a certain perspective.

shaun said...

Funny, I was just thinking about the Lost finale today and how much I still enjoy it and how it achieved individual moments that still make me smile and touch me when I think of them...different strokes...