Wednesday, December 01, 2010

The Keep in 150 Words or Less

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If Stevie Nicks had written a song called "TRON Holocaust" and hired John Carpenter to direct a feature-length music video for it under the stipulation that everyone take a fistful of quaaludes every morning before starting work, then that probably would've looked something like The Keep. Only not being nearly as awesome as any of that sounds.

Still it does have Ian McKellen screeching in an inexplicable accent at a bodybuilder golem and one of those extended very-Eighties curtains-blowing-in-the-wind sex scenes between two characters named Glaeken Trismegestus and Eva Cuza.... so I guess I'm sorta glad I saw it all the same.

I should note that this movie is by Michael Mann, right before he made Manhunter. It has all that style and atmosphere and incessant synthesizer, and none of the anything else.
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5 comments:

CT said...

"If Stevie Nicks had written a song called "TRON Holocaust" and hired John Carpenter to direct a feature-length music video for it under the stipulation that everyone take a fistful of quaaludes every morning before starting work, then that probably would've looked something like The Keep."

I want to just start inserting different stuff for "The Keep" but use the same imagery, like:

"If Stevie Nicks had written a song called "TRON Holocaust" and hired John Carpenter to direct a feature-length music video for it under the stipulation that everyone take a fistful of quaaludes every morning before starting work, then that probably would've looked something like Morning Glory."

Hee hee.

Scott said...

JA, did you just watch this on netflix on demand? i thought i saw it on there yesterday but i had no idea what it was. fyi, all the friday the 13ths (paramount ones) are on demand now, if you feel like having a marathon or something.

also, i finally saw burlesque last night. um.... i'm renaming it Mouseketeer Showgirls. and less talk from Cam, more naked cookies! i also now understand why everyone online keeps saying 'wagon wheel watusi.' good lord what a glittery mess!

Jason Adams said...

I did watch it instantly on Netflix, Scott, it just showed up recently. Michael Mann's name sucked me in, plus that funny image they use of the golem monster for it. NOT WORTH IT.

Thanks for the heads-up on the Fridays, I have all of them on DVD but it's crazy how much more likely I am now to watch something if it's on Netflix than to go all the way across the room and drag out those heavy DVDs and go all the way back to the player and open up the player and put the disc in and wait for it to load and OH MY GOD SO EXHAUSTING. I wish I weren't being serious but that's totally how my mind works now. Technology has doomed us all.

I keep waiting for the shots of Cam's ass to show up online! I can't see that movie in the theaters, I just can't. (Even though I am secretly looking forward to the DVD release. Not so secretly apparently.)

Scott said...

I know exactly what you mean! those damn dvds are so heavy and i've been slumming it at the gym. i'm not even sure i've bought anything in months, except for the golden girls set that comes in a replica of sophia's purse (because, well, it's fabulous). we got one of those roku thingys so the netflix is on our tv now and it's amazing how more likely i am to use that, instead of the discs. why bother dragging out my showgirls box set (complete with pin the pasty on the showgirl) when it's on demand? the only downside is that streaming it doesn't have the awesome trivia track that counts the number of breasts in the movie (now that's a fun drinking game!).

dagnabbit said...

Does anyone else find it strange that in 1983 Ian McClellan was playing an invalid old man, and in the aughts is making a fine living playing action heroes and villians?