Monday, August 16, 2010

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Cry-Baby (1990)

Cry-Baby: Kiss me! Kiss me hard.

Allison: I've never given a French kiss before.

Cry-Baby: Watch, it's easy. You just open your mouth,
and I open mine, and we wiggle our tongues together.
And it feels reeeeeal sexy.

Allison: I won't get mononucleosis, will I?
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First off, let me just fix something there...


Ahhh much better. Anyway! Cry-Baby's been on my John Waters' To-Do List for years now - I also haven't seen all of Pecker or any of Cecil B. Demented yet - so when I spotted it on Netflix Watch Instantly this weekend I said "What the hay!" (and then my boyfriend looked at me funny for saying "What the hay!" out loud without any context) and then I watched the movie. It's not very good. It all feels warmed-over and strangely neutered - the bits I've seen of Grease make me more uncomfortable, for god's sake. Although Hatchet-Face is a prize, to be sure.


One thing it does have going for it though is I really don't think I've ever seen Johnny Depp look prettier than he did here in this movie.


It's just distracting, he's so pretty. He makes you hold your breath when they cut to him. And then you get all light-headed, and dizzy, and you wake up three hours later on the floor with your pants around your ankles and your bleeding from your ass. Uhh...

As I was saying, Pretty Depp. Including Pretty Depp who attempts to break out of prison in half a black-and-white striped prison uniform and tighty-whities...?
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The fact that I never knew until yesterday that this scene existed shames me. But glancing around the net - ooh, "the net," it's 1995 suddenly - I see it hasn't exactly been given it's due online. There aren't even any screen-caps of it at his largest fan-site. This shall not stand!

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2 comments:

Simon said...

Did you get the still of him when his mom gave him a motorcycle or something? Because it looks like this:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_F2SffPd59jk/S9zU3DhnUsI/AAAAAAAAAl4/_93QfkkoHlc/s1600/crybaby3.jpg

And it kind of made my life.

MD said...

He looks like Billy Loomis to me in that first picture. Or I've just been thinking about Scream too much lately.