Did You Hear The One About...

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... this bullshit?

A welcome back to everybody post-holiday, I hope and trust y'all had a pleasant one, and apologize for this being my opening number, but how could I not jump out of the starting gate on this when it's what I'm looking at? Via THR via AICN:

"A new incarnation of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" could be coming to the big screen.

"Buffy" creator Joss Whedon isn't involved and it's not set up at a studio, but Roy Lee and Doug Davison of Vertigo Entertainment are working with original movie director Fran Rubel Kuzui and her husband, Kaz Kuzui, on what is being labeled a remake or relaunch, but not a sequel or prequel.

... The new "Buffy" film, however, would have no connection to the TV series, nor would it use popular supporting characters like Angel, Willow, Xander or Spike. Vertigo and Kuzui are looking to restart the story line without trampling on the beloved existing universe created by Whedon, putting the parties in a similar situation faced by Paramount, J.J. Abrams and his crew when relaunching "Star Trek."

One of the underlying ideas of "Buffy" allows Vertigo and Kuzui to do just that: that each generation has its own vampire slayer to protect it. The goal would be to make a darker, event-sized movie that would, of course, have franchise potential.

The parties are meeting with writers and hearing takes, and later will look for a home for the project. The producers do not rule out Whedon's involvement but have not yet reached out to him.Speaking from Tokyo, Fran Kuzui said the company is constantly approached not only about sequels but theater, video games and foreign remakes for "Buffy." When Vertigo's Lee contacted them, they were intrigued.

"It was Roy's interest in taking Buffy into a new place that grabbed us," she said, noting that original exec producer Sandy Gallin also was consulted. "It was based on our respect for what he does, and his particular sensitivity to Asian filmmakers, that we wanted to work with him."

Kuzui, who is prepping do direct a movie in Japan in the fall, added: "Everything has its moment. Every movie takes on a life at some point, and this seems like the moment to do this."

No. That's the only thing I can say. If I say more, my head... my head will fucking explode. See how that happened there? The vulgarity just starts, and it will never stop, never never ever never... so I have to stick to a single syllable. No. No. No. No. No. I will literally throw every noun in connection with this into a volcano. No. Unless they hire Joss, unless it's a big-screen adaptation of the TV show, NO. NO. NO. Volcano! I fucking swear it!
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