Eagle Eye In 150 Words Or Less

Dear Eagle Eye Producers,

Hello. I would just like to make sure that the $12 that I paid for my ticket to your movie could go directly into the pocket of Rosario Dawson. She's the entire reason I saw your movie, and you wasted her. Julianne Moore had more to do, and she was just a voice.

But really, Eagle Eye? You're going to make Rosario hit it with a stick? And that solves everything?

Perhaps twas foolish of me to go to your movie for Rosario when she was in .005% of the trailer; I knew beforehand that she'd be scarce. But what you did give her to do was just kinda embarrassing. So give her my $12. She earned it. That's Abernathy, dudes!

Also, to Michelle Monaghan: Fire your agent.

Also, to Shia: Pthhpt.
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