MNPP Is Very Proud To Present...

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Hi there, everybody! Your hostess-with-the-mostess (heh) Dawn Weiner here, straight from the kitchen of the Brand New Special People Club Headquarters in everybody's favorite state - the Garden one! (Some lady in the grocery store once told me it's a state of irony we live in, but she had claws and angry eyes and I had to go to the bathroom... to wash my hands... so I walked away.)

Anyway, you might notice a difference in the surroundings today... my parents had their anniversary the other week - their twentieth, ya know - and tore down the original Special People Club.

I hate parties. I mean... I just want to be popular.

And that's why we're here today! In today's episode, we're talking about The Essentials. What every good kitchen - and hostess! - needs to have in the pantry in case of emergency. Like, what if Stev... some older boy... stops by when your brother is out shopping with Mom and this older boy, well... he'd have intercourse with anybody no matter how ugly or how young. What are you gonna do?

I mean, dignity is an important quality that everyone should have, but so are Ring Dings, ya know? So here they are:

You like Yodels? Ring Dings, Pop-Tarts, Hawaiian Punch, whatever! We've got some fish-sticks.... I know how to make Jell-O!

All four of the food groups are represented: Appetizer, Main Course, Dessert and Beverage. You'll never go hungry again! Keep these stocked up at all times and Stev... that older boy... he just might fall in love with you, make love to you, and take you away from this place.

And always remember my motto:

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