A Pair Of Duds

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News-wise, that is. I figure I'll just plunk this crap out first thing in the A.M., get it over with, move on to greener pastures. First up, comes word that Warner Brothers wants to rape my dog and murder my house and set my grandmother on fire (via):

"Harry Potter fans will have to wait an extra six months to catch up with their favourite boy wizard after the release date of the latest film in the franchise, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, was moved back to July 17 2009.

The film had originally been scheduled for a November 21 release, in line with the policy adopted for the earlier movies in the series, three out of four of which hit cinemas in time for the festive season.

Warner Bros president and chief operating officer Alan Horn said the move has nothing to do with any problems on the shoot of the new picture, which he said had already been finished. Instead the film was being moved to take advantage of a "free" weekend in the busy summer schedule.

"The picture is completely, absolutely, 100 per cent on schedule, on time. There were no delays," Mr Horn said. "I've seen the movie. It is fabulous. We would have been perfectly able to have it out in November.""

So it should be, what, 2020 by the time I see the final film? Daniel Radcliffe will be breast-feeding his third baby by then. Ugh. I'd say "Boycott Warner Brothers!" but... well, I'm having trouble remembering everyone I want to boycott anymore. I need to see movies, ya know?

And the second piece of trash of the day comes to us via STYD:

"Hear that? No, that's not the sound of bees. It's the buzz, buzz, buzzing of another remake. And this time it's Bernard Rose's Clive Barker adaptation Candyman.

Shock learned today Sony and the rights holder to the film franchise which has spanned three installments - are mulling over plans to resurrect the hook-handed, pimp coat wearin' urban legend made famous by Tony Todd. It's all "early talks" (I was told one idea was to make the titular killer a Caucasian fella) with no writer or director attached at this time."

Okay... must suppress rage... must take several slow and deep breaths... Candyman is a classic. Now they've remade classics before, and I haven't gone too ape-shit (although the whole Rosemary's Baby thing continues to be a touchy subject), so what's got me up-in-arms here? it's that RIDICULOUS "make Candyman white" idea tossed in there. I... I just hope that they're joking. Because... I mean, Candyman's color is integral to the entire idea of the character. Why even fucking call him Candyman? Call him White-O or Honky-Man or Every Other Character Ever. Ugh, fucking bonkers.

Sigh. It's going to be a good day. It's going to be a good day. Just keep saying it. It must come true.
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