I remember telling my cousins a "scary story" I made up when I was eight or nine; it involved a creepy neighbor who everyone was convinced was a vampire or Frankenstein or some sort of monster. But it turned out he just wore a flat-topped baseball cap and really loved red Kool-Aid.Director DJ Caruso ripped me off! Just replace the baseball cap with a deer corpse and Kool-Aid with an asshole for a best friend, and then make the neighbor really be the Creature From the Black Lagoon. And cram the most annoying pop song ever written over an ickily gratuitous make-out scene. And end the movie on some sort of really skeezy sex-tape moment. Wham! My nine-year old self deserves royalties.
I'm purposefully not going mentioning anything to do with "Lfred-Ay Itchcock-Hay" because I can't do that to that poor, dead man.
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2 comments:
so you didn't like it, then? i didn't think it was great but i liked shia labeouf.
As always happens, I got carried away with my sarcasm, and made it sound like I hated it more than I did. But I ran out of words and that would've killed it if I'd said at the end, "well it wasn't that bad." But yeah, it wasn't that bad. It had some good moments and scares, for sure; I was actually enjoying it a lot until that scene where he and the girl start making out and that GODAWFUL song started playing out of nowhere and totally ruined the momentum and like I had for the movie. It was the moment when I realized this film has no business comparing itself or borrowing from Hitchcock. I really hated that song, if you can't tell. But it wsn't just the song, it was the HERE'S A SELECTION FROM OUR SOUNDTRACK vibe that turned me right off. And then the last third is just ridiculous, with the crawling around in the basement and the bad guy proving he has no head at all on his shoulders - okay, I've been a successful serial killer for a good long while, but tonight I'm just going to kill everyone on Earth when I've just been cleared of suspicion, just cuz. Ugh, it just got really dumb.
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