Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Review - Blade Trinity

Example

Another movie that's not really inspiring me to say much. I felt obliged to watch it, since I'd seen the previous two and mostly enjoyed them, plus, if you couldn't tell I'm a sucker for a good dose of male exploitation and from what I'd seen and heard Ryan Reynolds got the glistening abs treatment here. Hmm boy, does he ever.

In fact, this was a pretty darn gay superhero vampire flick. Drake (otherwise known as Dracula), the big villian, takes every opportunity to doff his skimpy shirts and fight bare chested in perhaps the tightest pair of pants I've ever seen outside of Chelsea. Jessica Biel gets a requisite shower scene but she just can't compete with the testosterone oozing off the screen this go-round. Blade was never this queer before - what's up David Goyer? I'm not complaining, just sayin...

Wesley Snipes is even more of a non-presence here. Supposedly there was all sorts of behind-the-scenes bickering with him, and it shows. There's a scene between Blade and Whistler early on that shocked me in its awfulness - did they only do one take? Because, damn, that was some wooden acting.

What I want is a flashback movie with Ryan Reynolds and Parker Posey. Parker Posey is and always will be my heroine. Her as a vamping vampire? GOLD.

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