Let Them Eat Steak

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Today's a day delightfully barren of any workload, as my boss is out of town for the day and several other co-workers are simply... not here. So I sit, the phone doesn't ring, and am soothed by the sweet whispers of air conditioning as I watch the steam rise off the streets outside.

Another perk of an empty office - we get to order lunch from the fancy places. My office provides lunch for us, major perk, and on days like today where there are only a handful of us here we go all out and get damned good food.

Any minute now I'll be chowing on some fine Steak Frites, with the most amazing Chocolate Mousse for dessert, and I can hardly contain my anticipation. Seriously - you have no idea how good this Chocolate Mousse is. If I could somehow make a machine where I breathed this Chocolate Mousse instead of oxygen I would be in heaven.

I wish I were that guy. The guy who can make Chocolate Mousse-Breathing Machines. That guy is wealthy, for one. For another, he breathes Chocolate Mousse. What a lucky bastard that guy is. I hate him.

Update #1 - I am mid-Steak Frites and may have just had an oral orgasm. (12:55pm)

Update #2 - Sorry, my bad, that was just Bearnaise Sauce dribbling down my chin. (12:56pm)

Update #3 - These fries are really something to write home about. (12:58pm)

Update #4 - Have not yet heard reply to the following email:

Dear Mom,

I'm eating the most delicious fries ever cooked right now. Yum!

Love,
J

Will post reply when received. (1:03pm)

Update #5 - Wishing the fries weren't so good so I could move on to the Chocolate Mousse already... (1:05pm)

Update #6 - Still eating fries. They're the really crunchy ones at the bottom that are even better than the fresher ones. When I dip them in the Bearnaise sauce I get it all over myself. (1:07pm)

Update #7 - Mousse Time! (1:10pm)

Update #8 - I'm staring at the Mousse, reveling in anticipation. Also contemplating eschewing a spoon altogether and just eating with my fingers. (1:11pm)

Update #9 - First bite - everything I'd remembered it to be. I roll it around on my tongue and am generally pornographic with it. (1:12pm)

Update #10 - I can't even see straight right now. I think I might just go blind from it. (1:13pm)

Update #11 - It's gone. I feel so... alone. There's got to be a little more I can rub off the plastic container with my fingernails! (1:16pm)

Update #12 - I remember this one time I caught a friend of mine digging some spilled cocaine out of the spaces between two floorboards in his apartment. That incident is now put in an entirely new light. (1:17pm)

Update #13 - The crash. I just need to be left alone for awhile. (1:18pm)