my new plaid pants

Shame On Me

2012-01-31T17:49:00.002-05:00

Can you even believe that it's taken me more than twenty-four hours to comment upon the news of Paul Reubens joining the cast of Charlie Kaufman's new movie? More than shame on me - shame on me that ripples forwards and backwards through time so that every single person I ever will love or have ever loved or will love someone I loved or loved someone I once loved feels the weight of the shame in the pit of their very guts.

Anyway yes it is true, Paul Reubens joined the cast of Charlie Kaufman's new movie, and it is good. So so good. Although now that Paul Reubens is in the movie its title of Frank or Francis is taking on a whole new meaning that I'm going to have trouble keeping out of my mind...

Today's Fanboy Delusion

2012-01-31T17:37:00.002-05:00

Today I'd rather be...

... keeping myself hydrated with Hugh Jackman.

This happens every couple of months - I think I've exhausted every picture there is of Hugh Jackman playing at the beach or by a pool that there is to be posted, and suddenly I find a new batch, and all is good again... for a couple of months, until I need to feed the beast, as it were, once more. Thankfully Hugh Jackman is the gift that keeps giving. These shots are from way back in 2009, and save a couple they are entirely new to my eyes. Oh, blessed be. Hit the jump for all twenty-seven of 'em.

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

2012-01-31T15:11:00.001-05:00

... you can learn from:

Lifeboat (1944)

Willy: [fixing her diamond bracelet] Looks like bits of ice.
Connie: I wish they were.
Willy: They're really nothing but a few pieces of carbon
crystallized under high pressure at great heat.
Connie: Quite so, if you want to be scientific about it.
Willy: I'm a great believer in science.
Connie: Like tears, for instance.
They're nothing but H2O with a trace of sodium chloride.

The incredible Tallulah Bankhead was born 110 years ago.

"I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock.

If I'm late start without me."

"How's it feel to have a wacko for a son?"

2012-01-31T14:13:00.001-05:00

"It feels wonderful."

Gratuitous Jason Momoa

2012-01-31T13:36:00.003-05:00

Presumably it was the new trailer for the second season of A Game of Thrones that set me off onto this gratuitous tangent, but I spent a good chunk of time gathering up pictures of Jason Momoa yesterday, just cuz. He and his myriad genetic blessings will be sorely missed come April. They shots are mostly via this here terrific Tumblr devoted to him. I have of course posted plenty of pictures of Jason in the past - you can click on thru here to see those, including these invaluable shots of his Drogo altogether. Good grief he is a lot of human being.

Most of the shots I've gathered are from Conan the Barbarian, but there are a bunch of pap-snaps of him at the beach too...

... that are certainly worth your time and effort. Did I mention how he's a lot of human being? Good grief, he is a lot of human being. All of these pics grow quite a bit if you click on them, too. Wonders never. Hit the jump for the rest.

W.E. Stands For Win Everything

2012-01-31T11:52:00.001-05:00

Hey people! Yes, you. It's giveaway time! You may recall that last week I posted a photograph of the generally well-known singer who goes by the name Madonna at the premiere of her directorial debut W.E. here in New York, where I somehow managed to wrangle a space only a few feet away from her. (Craziness.) Well the movie's out in limited release this upcoming weekend, and the soundtrack - featuring Madonna's song "Masterpiece," which she won a Golden Globe for - is out digitally today, and I have five count them five copies of the soundtrack to give away. And not the digital kind, the actual hard-copy of the CD! Old school. And not just that, you also get a mini-poster for the film. It's a bonanza, I tell ya. A Madonna Bonanza. A Madnanza? A Bondonna? Anyway. Here's the official stuff:

The Weinstein Company presents W.E.
A film by Madonna
In Select Theaters Feb 3. Check your local listings.

W.E. tells the story of two fragile but determined women - Wally Winthrop and Wallis Simpson - separated by more than six decades. In 1998, lonely New Yorker Wally Winthrop (Abbie Cornish) is obsessed with what she perceives as the ultimate love story: King Edward's VIII's abdication of the British throne for the woman he loved, American divorcée Wallis Simpson. But Wally's research, including several visits to the Sotheby's auction of the Windsor Estate, reveals that the couple's life together was not as perfect as she thought. Weaving back and forth in time, W.E. intertwines Wally's journey of discovery in New York with the story of Wallis (Andrea Riseborough) and Edward (James D'Arcy), from the glamorous early days of their romance to the slow unraveling of their lives in the decades that followed.

http://we-movie.com/

Enter to win a copy of W.E. - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack featuring Madonna's brand new track "Masterpiece" - winner of the 2012 Golden Globe Award for Best Original Song - and score by Abel Korzeniowski.

I should add that this contest is restricted to the US and Canada. Sorry, everybody else. Okay, so what have you got to do to win? Just answer the following question in the comments or email me at mnppcontest@gmail.com (and make sure to include an email address to reach you in case you're chosen):

"What song is Madonna's masterpiece, and why?"

The contest ends at 5PM this Friday, February 3rd.

I'll email you if you've won by Monday, February 6th.

Good luck, everybody!

Stuff Your Stockings With Slashers

2012-01-31T11:14:00.002-05:00

I mentioned this a couple of weeks ago when Final Girl Stacie Ponder announced this thing's existence, but that was before I got my hot hands on a hot copy of my own and plowed straight through it, and then plowed straight through it again, laughing my fool's head off the whole way - y'all owe it to yourselves to head over here and snatch up a copy of her mini-comic Slashers 101. In it she tells us all we'd ever need to know about the slasher movies of the 70s and 80s - she does dip back to the precursors and tilt forward up to the present day as well, but its focus is on the genre's heady heyday - and she does so with her usual awesomely deranged panache. It is a delight from first to last page, you guys. I cannot recommend it highly enough. I will not even attempt to box in its awesomeness with tiny concepts like "words" because it is so much better than I could do it justice, and I want Stacie to make a Part II, and a Part III, and a Part IV: The Beginning, and a Part V: Ponder Lives! So forth. Go buy ten copies and give them to everybody you know. If you are at all intimately involved with me, know you will be getting a copy of it for your birthday and/or first communion. (Alice Sweet Alice shout-out!) And it's only five dollars, y'all. Five dollars! You can't even get a decent handjob for that anymore, and this is so much better than a lousy handjob. (You can quote me on that, Stacie.) And if you pay ten dollars, not only will you get the book but Miss Ponder will give you a drawing of your own choosing on the book's back cover. I won't tell you what I got, but they are the greatest things I have ever seen with my eyes, lemme tell ya what.

Daniel Radcliffe Eight Times

2012-01-31T10:51:00.001-05:00

Oh dear he looks positively adorable in this photo-shoot for Esquire UK, doesn't he? I'm rooting for Danny to have a good post-Potter career. The buzz on the remake of The Woman In Black has been better than I anticipated, even though I worry it's going to rely on CG scares more than it ought to. It doesn't have to - the original worked up an atmosphere of dread with just location and clever pacing. Anyway he just seems like the coolest lil' fella, I wish him well. (Yes, I also wish him naked.)

I Should Probably Be Ashamed...

2012-01-31T10:21:00.001-05:00

... that I just spent 20 minutes of my life making that,

but I am not ashamed. I'm not! I feel alive! Alive!!!

Good Morning, World

2012-01-31T09:15:00.001-05:00

(via) Ah yes, now that you mention it, David Duchovny in indecently snug in the right places boxer briefs is exactly what I have been missing. Thanks for clearing that up, Californication.

He's almost 52 years old, y'all. Gah.

Pic of the Day

2012-01-30T21:33:00.000-05:00

Yes! I've been waiting all day for somebody to make a gif of Armie Hammer photo-bombing Meryl Streep at the SAG Awards last night, which I mentioned breaking my brain on Twitter. Life is now complete. (He is so stoned.)

Kick Ass Siggy And Cavill Nips A Go

2012-01-30T20:53:00.001-05:00

Have you guys watched the trailer for the thriller The Cold Light of Day with Henry Cavill, Bruce Willis, and Sigourney Weaver yet? Here it is if you missed it:

And I will give you two reasons why this could be

the greatest movie of all time, in gif form, right now:

I'm there!

Muppet Babies (Re)United

2012-01-30T18:18:00.000-05:00

Word is in: they're making a second X-Men Muppet Babies movie! Director of the first one Matthew Vaughn has apparently signed on, and no doubt they won't be making it without Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy returning. And finally, consummation. Cannot wait.

Shirley MacLaine Believes In Psychics, Right?

2012-01-30T16:22:00.001-05:00

I know she believes in that past life stuff at least, so let's just assume she believes in psychics too, which is a coincidence you see, because I am totally fucking psychic! A couple of weeks ago I joked on Twitter that Downton Abbey's explosive success was going to make it the hot spot for guest stars like a Merchant Ivory version of The Love Boat. I was completely kidding - it didn't seem like a likely thing at all. It's absurd, right? Cue the first domino:

"Shirley MacLaine ("Terms of Endearment") is joining the third season of Masterpiece Theatre's 'Downton Abbey,' which starts filming next month. She'll be playing the American mother of Lady Grantham (Elizabeth McGovern)."

Read more here. Next stop Charo! (Okay okay Shirley MacLaine is a super actress and I love her and she's by no means on a Charo level and I can't wait to see her on the show. But still. It always starts out well-meaning, the guests showing up, and then by Season 5 you've got Gilbert Godfried spritizing soda water in Maggie Smith's face.)

50/50 in 150 Words

2012-01-30T15:47:00.000-05:00

A movie in search of a movie. Everybody's good - it took a fraction of a second for Angelica Huston to make me cry - but even with CANCER breathing down everybody's neck there's no momentum, it just kind of sits there. In theory I admire the film's approach to addressing what it's like for a young person to go through this, but it felt more like a series of moments than an enveloping narrative, and it made it hard to get involved on an emotional level. I wish we'd gotten to know JGL's character better before the doomsday diagnosis so it meant more once it came. As is the impact is dulled, since we don't really know his world without the cancer in it, and since he becomes shell-shocked at that point it's hard to find a way in other than to just watch what happens from a distance.

Today's Fanboy Delusion

2012-01-30T15:14:00.005-05:00

Today I'd rather be...

... crashing Christian's pool party

to wish him a happy 38th birthday.

I'd rather bypass the phone and go straight to blowing bubbles up his trunks but whatever, we take what we can. Happy birthday, Batman! Happy birthday, Bateman! I still love you, Dickie. Even if you've proven yourself a bit humorless slash insane the past couple of years. If you were a sane person you wouldn't have made American Psycho such a eye-bugging spectacular. And I don't even mean just your ass.

There's not really much left for me to do with Christian to wish him a happy birthday at this point, I've done it all before. I've listed my favorite performances, I've cluttered the internet with every frame of his cinema-changing Psycho nakedness (I divide Cinematic Male Nudity into B.B. (Before Bateman) and A.B. (After Bateman). So uh... here are a bunch of pictures I haven't posted before from movies not named American Psycho. I guess that'll do. Hit the jump.

The Town That Dreaded Spark Plug

2012-01-30T14:18:00.004-05:00

Seems downright obscene that I hadn't seen the 1976 true-story slasher The Town That Dreaded Sundown until this weekend, but the problem can probably be pin-pointed to two things. One: it's impossible to find - it's never been released onto DVD and the VHS-quality copies on the internet are pretty shoddy-looking. Thankfully TCM aired the film - and a beautifully pristine copy at that - last week. And two: how very much I disliked the experience of watching the director Charles B. Pierce's previous low-budget pseudo-doc horror flick The Legend of Boggy Creek. God that movie annoyed me. But it's a shame I was put off for so long, because what works in The Town That Dreaded Sundown works incredibly well.

And lucky for us, what works is all the scary stuff. The stalking and killing scenes are genuinely terrifying - I'm a sucker for a bag-head killer, and the Phantom Killer (as he was called in the real world case this film's based on) is a total creeper. He's got the scary wild eyes peering out from inside the bag that are given, but he adds a dash of hyperventilating, sucking the bag in and out at a furious rhythm, that pushes it over into even more unsettling territory. And these scenes are shot beautifully, lighting up the middle-of-nowhere forests just enough to show us all we don't want to see. The seemingly amateur (except for Gilligan's Island's own Mary Ann, aka Dawn Wells!) actors sell their fright really well in ways that don't feel redundant to these sorts of scenes that I've seen before, which gives them an honesty that's... discomfiting, to put it mildly. And holy hell, that trombone.

But. Those scenes amount to a little bit less than half the movie's runtime. The rest of the movie is an inexplicable Hee Haw episode, with banjos twanging while a slack-jawed yokel cop named Spark Plug dresses up in lady clothes to get his fake tits honked and then falls into mud puddles. So you take the good, and you fast-forward the bad, I guess. The good is very good! Alas the bad is very bad. A remake - sans Spark Plug - wouldn't be a bad idea, if you ask me.

Happy 32, Wilmer Valderrama

2012-01-30T13:27:00.003-05:00

Five Frames From ?

2012-01-30T12:35:00.002-05:00

What movie is this?

That's What Sports Are For

2012-01-30T12:00:00.001-05:00

I thought the Super Bowl was yesterday? It's next week? Huh. I mean I'll be avoiding it either way, but I thought I'd successfully avoided it already, and now I see I've still got one more week of purposefully avoiding it. Exhausting! Except for this sort of thing, and by this sort of thing I mean David Beckham prancing around in his fancy little panties for an ad during the show. The ad is already online, see:

(via) I was kind enough to take some screencaps too,

so hit the jump for those. Yay football!

Kevin Zegers Seven Times

2012-01-30T11:29:00.000-05:00

(via)

I Am Link

2012-01-30T10:54:00.007-05:00

--- Hot Vamp - Finally some official confirmation of Jim Jarmusch's vampire movie with Tilda Swinton! Hooray! Not so hooray - unlike when we first heard about this movie, it doesn't look like Michael Fassbender's attached anymore. Boo. Okay, but he is being replaced with the awesome Tom Hiddleston, so hooray again! Mia Wasikowska's in there too, plus John Hurt. The thing is called Only Lovers Left Alive, which is a gorgeous title.

--- Setting Sail - Cinematographer Matthew Libatique says that Darren Aronofsky's Noah movie will start shooting in July, for a Fall 2013 release. Fingers crossed. And toes crossed that it's Michael Fassbender taking on the lead role!

--- And speaking of Fassy again, Brad Pitt told THR (via The Playlist) that his role in Steve McQueen's Twelve Years a Slave is a small one, a cameo, but that Fassy's role is a big one. This is helpful because until now we really had no idea how big a part anybody but Chiwetol Ejiofor had in the lead. More Fassy = good.

--- My Martha - Over at Stale Popcorn Glenn's praise-riddled review of Martha Marcy May Marlene worked me into a lather of "must see it again right this second" if only it were out on DVD already. It really seems like it should be by now, but it ain't out until February 21st. It should have come out sooner, maybe it could've rebuilt some buzz and gotten the Oscar nominations it deserved. Not that I can pretend to know how these things works. I mean, I can. I just did. Anyway. It is an excellent film, I concur!

--- Bagged A Baggins - I haven't really been too thorough keeping up with Hobbit news - at this point it's inevitable I'll be seeing the movie opening weekend, so dipping too deeply into all the pre-release stuff is only going to muddy that first viewing experience so it seems pointless, to me. But here's a new picture of Martin Freeman as Bilbo anyway, in case you don't feel that way.

--- Winter Folk - If you want to see the first real trailer for the second season of A Game of Thrones, click on over to EW to watch it. I watched it last night and when Dany starts getting all assertive-like I may have gotten erect.

--- Getting Stranger - The director of The Strangers, Bryan Bertino, is finally starting work on his second film - it's called Mockingbird, and it's a found footage flick about a couple that receive a video camera with the instructions to do as told or somebody dies. So kind of Saw meets The Strangers? Anyway he's talented and we were sick of waiting for him to do something new, so yay.

--- Mia May I - I need to thank Adam at Club Silencio for this week's banner from Rosemary's Baby - I stole the image from one of his invaluable Obscure Beauty posts. So lovely.

--- Loony Rooney - The world has made it clear to Blake Lively that we'd rather just say no, thanks very much, right? That's what this news of her getting replaced by Rooney Mara in Steven Soderbergh's next move called The Side Effects, about a drugged-up girl and co-starring Channing Tatum (I'm starting to think SS and Chan are an item) and Jude Law, should be telling her right? Let's hope so. Yay Rooney! And by the way, I know this shocks none of you, but the more stand-offish and weird and annoying things that spill out of Mara's mouth, the more I like her.

Good Morning, World

2012-01-30T10:00:00.001-05:00

Ahh, so this is what Shameless is there for! It airs Sunday nights so we can start out a new week with shirtless (or more) pictures of one of the always-getting-naked guys on it, whether they be Justin Chatwin or Mr. Gaga (aka Taylor Kinney)(that link is NSFW) or this here fella, James Wolk. We've only mentioned Mr. Wolk here at the blog once before, when he was momentarily mentioned for Superman (Henry Cavill went on to get the role, of course) - everybody fell in love with him from that short-lived show Lone Star... well I suppose I can't say "everybody" since nobody watched it, but somebody did and they fell in love with him, and it is not hard to see why. In fact, see some more whys after the jump...

Adam Brody Pornstache Alert

2012-01-27T17:37:00.003-05:00

JJ has pics of the actor on the set of Lovelace, where he's playing vintage penis Harry Reems. They also have shots of James Franco as Hugh Hefner, if you're interested. This has been your Adam Brody Pornstache Alert. Have a nice day.

Today's Mood

2012-01-27T16:22:00.000-05:00

Mozart was born 256 years ago today.
Rock me all the time to the top, Wolfie.

Johnathon Schaech Two Times

2012-01-27T16:16:00.000-05:00

Inspired by yesterday's bucking belt buckle remembrances.

Pic of the Day

2012-01-27T16:06:00.002-05:00

There really aren't any words that I can add to this banned Hungarian version of the poster for Shame that will add anything to the experience of looking at it, so I will not bother. There it is! Close up shop everybody, we've done our job here. (via)

Liam Neeson Then And Now

2012-01-27T15:47:00.005-05:00

Alright so those pictures are actually more "Then and Slightly Less Then," but I think you'll forgive me since he looks hot in those pictures. Anyway over at Celebrity Beehive I am ruminating upon the Old Liam Neeson (that is, the Younger Liam Neeson, the one who starred in Serious Movies like Schindler's List) and the New Liam Neeson (that is the Old Liam Neeson, who turns 60 in a few months, starring in the likes of The A-Team and Taken).

Why am I yammering on about Liam Neeson? Because he is out there punching wolves in this weekend's new release The Grey, that's why. I hadn't paid any attention to this movie until this week - I don't begrudge Liam Neeson making some money for himself, he seems a good fellow so go to town, good sir, but I don't especially feel inclined to go see his movies these days either. Only now I am hearing excellent things about The Grey - Roger Ebert gives it 3.5 stars and says "I sat regarding the screen with mounting dread" - and might end up going after all. I mean, I like a good "dudes getting eaten by wolves" flick as much as the next guy! (Hopefully the next guy like that a whole lot.)

Other movies out this weekend: One For the Money with That Blonde Everybody Except Joe Reid Professes To Hate But Then Her Movies Seem To Keep Making Money And I Don't Understand, and Man on a Ledge with Sam "My Middle Name Is Blah" Worthington. Read all about them, or rather read my rambling thoughts vaguely based upon them since I haven't seen any of them, over at Celebrity Beehive!

I'm going to take this opportunity to mention another movie that I didn't mention over there though - the sequel to the 1973 classic horror freak-out The Wicker Man, from the same director and called The Wicker Tree, is apparently out this weekend too! I know it is here in New York, at least - I can't imagine it's getting that wide of an opening so I can't really say "At a theater near you!" with this one. Unless you're me, or near me, since as I just said it is open here in New York. Anyway. Yes, please, I will gobble this one right up. All I needed to know I found out from this capture I took from the movie's IMDb page:

Even better is that Miss Honeysuckle Weeks (I want her to marry Benedict Cumberbatch and become Honeysuckle Weeks-Cumberbatch so bad) is playing a character named "Lolly." There aren't enough Lollys in my life. I'm going to start calling my boyfriend Lolly. (That is, if he's not already named Lolly. You don't know!)

Five Frames From ?

2012-01-27T13:27:00.000-05:00

What movie is this?

Be My Big Bro

2012-01-27T11:30:00.001-05:00

I don't watch Glee anymore - even with the wonder of Jane Lynch I only lasted a few episodes into the first season before the happy faces and jazz hands drove me back into the wilderness - but that doesn't mean I don't know who Darren Criss is, or that I don't enjoy the news that Matthew Bomer will be guest-starring on the show as Darren's older brother for all its surely-will-remain-imaginary but awesome-all-the-same incesty possibilities.
.

Charlie's Angels

2012-01-27T11:02:00.005-05:00

Hot news alert! Kate Winslet and Catherine Keener, two of the greatest actresses of a certain age, have joined the cast of Frank or Francis, Charlie Kaufman's next movie! This is the one that Kaufman wrote and is directing, not the one that he wrote that Spike Jonze is directing - both are supposedly in the works, ya know.

Frank or Francis is the "Hollywood satire" that already has Nicolas Cage and Kevin Kline and Steve Carell and Jack Black cast - I wrote a bunch about it at The Film Experience way back when, if you care or don't know all about it already.

The main thrust here is just Winslet and Keener in a Charlie Kaufman movie, hooray! As Slash points out they were both nominated for Oscars in roles in movies written by Kaufman before - Keener in Being John Malkovich and Winslet in Eternal Sunshine. They both should have won Oscars for those roles too, if you ask me. (You didn't.) Keener was also in Charlie's first directorial effort Synechdoche New York, aka the best movie of the past however many forever even years. Do you think this is my most anticipated movie ever? Do ya?
.

Hey Didja Hear That...

2012-01-27T10:42:00.001-05:00

... the "Tom Hardy and Chris Pine fight over whatshername" movie This Means War just got an R-rating for "sexual content"? Yeah I think you know where I'm going with this. Make it happen.

Good Morning, World

2012-01-27T10:23:00.001-05:00

Some vintage pics of a very young Jude Law on the stage (via). He's 22 here, the play was called Indiscretions, and anybody who was there is an asshole. I say we demand a revival. I'm surprised I'd never posted any of these pictures before, though. Hrm. Anyway see a random assortment of a couple more pictures of Jude Law after the jump because why not he's Jude Law.

RIP Eiko Ishioka

2012-01-26T17:24:00.001-05:00

Oh this makes me very sad - the designer Eiko Ishioka died this past Saturday at the age of 73. I wrote up an ode to her costumes for Bram Stoker's Dracula back in October (filled with lots of great pics; you should click over if you missed it) saying:

"Nowadays with television programming like Project Runway where we see people told on a weekly basis to make a dress that looks like a Tupperware full of spaghetti it might seem quaint, but at the time for a kid in a small town this sort of symbolic expression through costuming seemed revolutionary.

It wouldn’t be until years later that I’d see similarly hallucinogenic outfits in the films of Kenneth Anger and Alejandro Jodorowsky, obvious precursors to this sort of thing, so there will always be a scorch-mark inside my head that looks like that billowing orange gown that Lucy meets her wolf-man lover in. And I wouldn’t have it any other way."

She changed the way I looked at movies, and her work was part of the reason I became so obsessed with them, and I mourn all the amazing costumes we'll never get to see without her. But I'm sure her work opened up the minds for future generations of costume designers, and we'll see her influence for as long as people make movies. Her work for Tarsem's Mirror Mirror will be her swan song, as it were.

2012-01-26T17:02:00.000-05:00

Which Is Hotter?

2012-01-26T16:25:00.002-05:00

Charlton Heston as Moses in The Ten Commandments,

or Billy Campbell as Moses in In The Beginning?

poll by twiigs.com

Did y'all hear the news that Steven Spielberg's planning on making a movie about Moses' life? The whole thing of course, from the basket floating down the river to the old man wandering in the desert, all that jazz. Says DH:

"The tone is expected to be less Cecile B. De Mille and more Braveheart with Moses portrayed as one of history's great warriors. It will also be filmed with a gritty and realistic tone akin to Spielberg's own Saving Private Ryan."

Mkay. With this and Darren Aronofsky's Noah epic I guess the time has come for Bible stories. I want Sodom and Gomorrah: The Movie then! Anyway when I saw this news I figured I'd look up and see what actors have played Moses in the past that are named something other than Charlton Heston and that's how I stumbled upon the fact that beautiful Billy Campbell (you'll want to click that link) played him in this 2000 TV movie which I don't remember existing. Apparently neither does the world because I could find literally zero point zero zero pictures of him in the role online! WTF, internet? Fail. Somebody did upload the entire movie onto YouTube though (I don't know), so I dutifully scanned through it until I found him. But you wanna know what else I discovered while dutifully scanning through it?

Mmhmm. Eddie Cibrian plays some kind of slave boy and it appears as if he sexes his way to the top of the slave ladder. Okay again I was only fast-forwarding through it and I wasn't listening to the dialogue at all, so this is probably an entirely skewed version of the events, but hey, it's what we got. I mean come on. Everybody's eyeing Eddie like he's a sizzling slab of beef and they haven't eaten in a month.

Point being, religion ain't just bad stuff! It's also about hot guys spending all their time together without anything on under their robes. Never forget that.

See several more gifs after the jump. Love the shot of him

checking out his spectacular ass in his stylin' new outfit.

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

2012-01-26T13:46:00.001-05:00

you can learn from:

Sweet Bird of Youth (1962)

Chance Wayne: I had my picture on the cover of Life magazine! Woo-ha! And at the same time I was employing my other talent, lovemaking.
Alexandra: That may be the only talent
you were ever truly meant for.

I think we can all agree to the truth of that sentiment

as far as Paul Newman was concerned. Good god, yes.

Today would've been his 87th birthday.

Happy day, Paul, you god amongst men.

David Beckham Five Times

2012-01-26T13:29:00.000-05:00

(via)

Crazy Purple Clown Lady

2012-01-26T13:24:00.001-05:00

Inspired by the new Effie-Trinket-ized "Capitol Couture" website for The Hunger Games, I wrote up some thoughts over at The Film Experience today on what's going on - or how I'm choosing to read what's going on - with the marketing for the movie. Spoiler alert: I love it. Love love love it. But click over anyway, I say more than that.

Five Frames From ?

2012-01-26T12:33:00.001-05:00

What movie is this?

Do You Hate Me, Dominic Cooper?

2012-01-26T12:04:00.001-05:00

Is that what this is? Because I can't really understand why else you would do this to me. Via DH:

"Dominic Cooper, Thandie Newton and Chiwetel Ejiofor are all set to star in an adaptation of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's bestselling novel "Half of a Yellow Sun" for BFI...

This follows several characters including a university professor (Ejiofor) and his girlfriend (Newton), their houseboy along with several more and sets it against the backdrop of the Nigerian-Biafran War in the late 60's when southern Nigeria attempted to secede and form their own country.

Cooper would play British ex-pat studying in Nigeria. Nigerian playwright Biyi Bandele is making his directorial debut on the film which Andrea Calderwood and Gail Egan are producing. Shooting kicks off in March."

What happened is Dom must have come here to the site and seen all my swooning about his bum and got weirded out so he searched around the site for the person in the world that I like least of all and since Chloe Moretz was busy and Harvey Weinstein doesn't act he went and found that vile stick bug Thandie "Insufferable" Newton and said "Hey, let's mess with this bum stalker!" Cue this news. It's the only explanation! He's so spiteful! Ugh, torment, torment. I think this was like the third or fourth level of Dante's Inferno, wasn't it? This right here. Well at least Chewie's there too, he'll make things better.

Now Now Release It Now!

2012-01-26T10:19:00.001-05:00

So I've mentioned it a couple times here but if you've been paying any attention to Sundance then you've probably heard the buzz about the "found footage" anthology horror movie V/H/S. I've been yammering about it because 1) I love anthology movies, 2) I love scary movies that are actually scary, and they say it is, 3) I love "found footage" movies in general, as my review of The Tunnel just the other day reinforced, but mostly 4) One of the directors of one of the segments is Ti West, who has never made an uninteresting horror movie, and I've seen all of his movies now so I am an expert and you should listen to me.

The other directors that worked on V/H/S are as follows: David Bruckner, who was one of the three directors on The Signal, which has a lot of good stuff to it (my favorite section of The Signal is the freaky funny middle one, which was directed by Jacob Gentry, who's gone on to make the Super Psycho Sweet Sixteen slasher flicks for MTV, of all things); Glenn McQuaid, who made the grave-robber comedy I Sell the Dead, which I've been meaning to watch for ages; a directing collective of four dudes calling themselves Radio Silence who've made some shorts I'm not familiar with; Adam Wingard, who made A Horrible Way To Die, which I thought I'd reviewed but apparently didn't and now I only vaguely remember it; and then Joe Swanberg, who's made a name for himself as one of the leading men of Mumblecore (he's one of the reasons Greta Gerwig is Greta Gerwig, so bow down) with Hannah Takes the Stairs and LOL, amongst others.

Anyway, those are the dudes that have gathered their disturbed wits about them to make V/H/S, and the big news this morning, the reason I'm rambling about all this, is the studio Magnolia has bought the movie and is going to release it first on VOD, as they've been doing with all their horror films, and then as they put it it'll get "a significant theatrical release." Ride the buzz wave, Magnolia! Get this thing out ASAP! Or just get it out to me ASAP! Me! Mostly I just want to avoid spoilers and the longer this thing hovers in the ether the more likely I'll get something spoiled for myself. Also mostly I just want it. Now!

Good Morning, World

2012-01-26T09:45:00.001-05:00

At around the same time I posted those shots of Eduardo Noriega earlier this week I also stumbled upon this scene of him and Vincent Dissez playing around, ahem, in the shower in a 2002 film called Novo. I haven't seen the movie so the context is lost upon me, which is fine - this sort of things works just fine sans context, ya know? The context would probably screw it up, in truth.

A wise man once said tis better to be ignorant than unturned on. Alright I just made that up, but it seems wise to me, so whatever. If you want to see several gifs I made of this and another scene in the movie, hit the jump.

Quote of the Day

2012-01-25T17:57:00.001-05:00

From a review of the new comedy For A Good Time, Call..., about two new friends (Lauren "Seth Rogen's Wife" Anne Miller and Ari "Balls Deep" Graynor) who start a phone sex line, that just showed at Sundance and has been getting big raves:

"It's also guaranteed to vault Graynor to the next level of comedy stars."

Well it's about effing time! We've only been hollering about her being worthy for going on four years now, since she knocked her every scene in Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist out of the park. I'd begun to worry she was going to slip through the cracks, so this is super duper welcome news. Make it happen, people!

The Stoning Of Armie H.

2012-01-25T17:12:00.000-05:00

I guess he took the J. Edgar Oscar snubbing pretty hard.
"I made out with Leo for nothing? Pass me a joint!"

Ryan Kwanten Five Times

2012-01-25T14:49:00.001-05:00

Happy Australia Day!

The Moment I Fell For... Greta Gerwig

2012-01-25T13:21:00.003-05:00

I've got director Ti West on the brain today due to all the buzz from Sundance on his new anthology movie V/H/S, hence this (which I can't believe I never wrote up before anyway). I'd seen Greta in the movie Baghead, which she's also wonderful in, before seeing her in this, but it was this role here in The House of the Devil that got me hooked. In my review way back when I rhapsodized on an earlier scene in the film where Greta and Jocelyn Donahue eat some pizza and chat like besties, which is a great scene and is, to me, one of the lynchpins for why this movie works so well - we come to really like these two girls, and don't want anything bad to happen to them - but it's this slightly later moment with Gerwig alone that sealed my eternal adoration of her. They've gotten to the spooky old house and she's been left alone while Donahue gets a tour, and all she does is try a piece of old candy that's in a dish across from the sofa, but it's all so natural and charming and funny, her grossed-out reaction, that my heart fluttered with affection, never to turn back.

Which is Hotter?

2012-01-25T12:41:00.001-05:00

Franklin Hardesty (Paul A. Partain)

or The Hitchhiker (Edwin Neal) in

Tobe Hooper's The Texas Chain Saw Massacre?

poll by twiigs.com

Happy 69th birthday, Tobe!

I hope Djinn is good!

Five Frames From ?

2012-01-25T12:07:00.000-05:00

What movie is this?

I Don't Remember...

2012-01-25T11:31:00.000-05:00

... adding Taylor Lautner's movie Abduction to my Netflix queue, but now that it's here I cannot wait to watch it. Please let it be as terrible as I've been promised!

I Am Link

2012-01-25T11:05:00.004-05:00

--- Conjuring Couple - Just yesterday we told you about Patrick Wilson reteaming with Insidious director James Wan along with Vera Farmiga for The Conjuring, a tale of a couple of real-world paranormal investigators and frauds - today we hear that Office Space's Ron Livingston and The Haunting remake's Lili Taylor (Never Forget) are also in talks to join it. They'll play the people getting haunted who call in Patty & Vera for aid. If Lili starts talking to cherubs in the curtains, I'm out.

--- Hell Day - So happy to have Final Girl restarting the Film Club after a bit of a hiatus - February 13th is the date and Hell Night is the movie. I cannot remember if I've seen Hell Night before or not, so a rewatch is surely in order.

--- Kim Bits - I think I mention this every time I link to something at Sunset Gun, but I only go over there every couple of months since Kim doesn't update that often, and then I've got like five or six wonderful pieces to chew on, and it is a delight. So goes this time - here's Kim talking about Melancholia (plus a list of the rest of her 2011 faves), here she is talking about Hitchcock's blondes, and here she is talking about Stanley Kubrick's final masterpiece Eyes Wide Shut, which I still can't believe is as underrated as it is.

--- Hello Goodbye - io9's list of movies we'll probably never ever get to see because of their irretrievable histories is fascinating.

--- DaKayed - A couple great things from Glenn at Stale Popcorn to link to: here's his take on the wonderful little gay romance Weekend, notable for its inclusion of gifs of White Collar's Tim DeKay stripping his clothes off in the gay movie Big Eden. I had never seen Tim with his clothes off, and now I need to see much much more. And here's Glenn talking about the possibility of a fifth Scream movie, a dream he had about what it would be (and it's a great idea), and his worthwhile affection for Hayden Panettiere's movie buff Kirby in the fourth movie.

--- Video Dream - This review I am linking to over at AICN has spoilers so I haven't even read it myself, but I'm using it as an opportunity to say I have read the headlines about the new anthology horror movie V/H/S that just played at Sundance and Oh my god I want it right now!!! I actually already mentioned it the other week - the director of the one of the segments is Ti West, so obviously I was going to want to watch this thing anyway. But the reviews have been, judging solely from the headlines to avoid spoilers, stellar, and now I will spend however many endless months waiting for this to get released whining about it. So I am preparing you for my whining basically. Be prepared!

--- Over and Evil Out - Phil Collins' daughter Lily has had to drop out of the Evil Dead remake due to some kind of a scheduling conflict. I think it's really because of that disturbing gif I made when I first heard the news of her casting, to be honest. Who will they get to replace her? Someone I actually like? Stay tuned!

--- And finally, I was inspired by Nathaniel's talk at Towleroad of the 1927 silent classic and first Best Picture winner Wings' release onto BluRay this week to make this gif, the end.

Good Morning, World

2012-01-25T09:40:00.002-05:00

A happy 30th birthday to Enver Gjokaj, who was so wonderful on Joss Whedon's short-lived series Dollhouse that we will never stop clanging the bell for big career things for him. Thankfully he appears to have Joss Whedon still in his corner, as he's supposedly got a role in The Avengers movie, although it's not listed on IMDb as so. But we heard he did! So that makes it true. Right? Right? (gif via)

Please Please Please...

2012-01-24T18:30:00.000-05:00

Edgar Wright tweeted this picture with Simon Pegg earlier today. Want! Need! Must have! Read more about what The World's End is if you dunno here. It'd be the third in their quasi-trilogy alongside Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, in short. Hence the whole "Want! Need! Must have!" thing.

I Have To Go To The Dentist Now

2012-01-24T16:45:00.000-05:00

And that's how it makes me feel. (via)

Thanks To Whomever It Was That Failed...

2012-01-24T16:30:00.000-05:00

... to teach Zac Efron to pull up his pants in his life.

(click to embiggen)

First The PW Beefcake, Then The PW News

2012-01-24T16:08:00.001-05:00

The impossibly perfect person Patrick Wilson has been swallowed up by a television program I can't stomach - even if they did do the right thing and get him out of his clothes a few times, as these until-now unposted shots seen above, plus ones here and more here, can attest to - so he doesn't really need to keep making movies if he didn't want to. But there he was, very fine in Young Adult, and he'll be in Ridley Scott's Prometheus in a small role (I think) too. Anyway I'm glad to hear he's still snapping up movie roles and not getting lazy and resting on his weekly paycheck laurels (cough Nathan Fillion cough). The new news: he's probably re-hooking up with his Insidious director James Wan for that true-story paranormal investigators movie I told you about way back in December. Says THR:

"Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga are in final negotiations to star in The Conjuring, a supernatural thriller from New Line.

The casting will reteam Wilson with director James Wan, who directed the actor in Insidious, another supernatural creepfest that was one last year's most profitable movies.

In Conjuring, written by Chad and Carey Hayes, Wilson and Farmiga will play a husband and wife team of demonologists and psychic investigators who enter the most horrifying case of their career, spirits in a Rhode Island farmhouse.

The story is based on the real life tale of the Perron family and their ordeals in the 1970s. When New Line acquired the pitch from the Hayes, it included life rights to the Perron family and the paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren.

A March shoot in North Caroline is being eyed."

These Warren people gained the majority of their notoriety because of the Amityville Horror house, which they investigated first. They've been deemed frauds time and again. Since I don't believe in ghosts or spirits or anything like that I'm prone to agree, but that doesn't mean I won't have a fun time watching oogie-boogies pop out at Patrick and Vera in a movie all the same. Okay, back to the beefcake!

Hey Look It's The First Footage...

2012-01-24T15:28:00.000-05:00

... of Gary Oldman hearing he'd received

his first ever Oscar nomination this morning:

Congrats, Gary! Have fun celebrating tonight!

So This Is A Conversation That Happened

2012-01-24T14:41:00.003-05:00

This is amazing. Via an interview

with David Cronenberg over at The Playlist:

When Ivan Reitman was planning a movie called "Twins," he called up his longtime friend and former compatriot. The conversation went something like this, according to Cronenberg:
Ivan: "I hear you're making a movie called 'Twins.'"
David: "Yeah, it's about these twin gynecologists."
Ivan: "I want to make a movie called 'Twins' as well."
David: "Oh, really?"
Ivan: "Yeah, and I need the title more than you do. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, twins. That's the sell."
David: "I can see that."
Ivan: "So we can't both have movies called 'Twins.'"
David: "OK. How much?"
Reitman ended up paying Cronenberg for the use of the title, and Cronenberg changed the title of his 1988 film to "Dead Ringers," which was now financed by "Twins" money. "And they both did OK, on their own levels," Cronenberg chuckled.

I'd love to theorize a mash-up of the two movies in words but my memories of the Schwarzenegger movie are so blurry - I haven't seen it since I was a kid, although I'm sure I saw it several times since I recall my mother loving it - I can't really think up any good gags. Except for the part where Jeremy Irons investigates Danny Devito's sensitive parts with an oblong razor-toothed speculum of sorts, of course. That's a given. (That's always a given.)

Jean Dujardin Five Times

2012-01-24T13:37:00.002-05:00

I want you all to take note of how he's wearing Plaid Pants in that last pic on the right. It's a signal to me! I'm coming, Jean! Ahem. Via GQ. And as if we need more cause to love him, in Dujardin's interview he says he "adores" Paul Newman. Good taste, Frenchman! They could've made a great pair. Paul Newman takes France, where Jean Dujardin takes Paul Newman. I like it. Somebody get me a time machine and a Hollywood producing contract!

Does Whatever A Spider Man Does

2012-01-24T13:13:00.000-05:00

Been awhile since we checked in on the Spider-Man reboot front with our British boyfriend (well one of them) Andrew Garfield (outta the way, Emma Stone!). They're been releasing some new pictures lately, so here they be. Some of them where his face isn't showing who knows if that's actually him in the costume or not. It could be Emma Stone for all we know! It could be me, even. Oh did I just spoil the end of the movie? Whoops. I am Spider-Man you guys. Now you know.

You Win, Ewan

2012-01-24T12:44:00.003-05:00

Besides that Madonna person, there were famous people all over the W.E. screening last night - besides a bunch of the cast (Andrea Riseborough! Oscar Isaacs!) my boyfriend stood next to Patti Smith and Andrew McCarthy (not together; how weird would that be) in the popcorn line and Russell Simmons was waiting outside the bathroom when I went. But apparently Ewan McGregor was there, and I missed him, so it's all for naught. Naught!

Boo, Ewan! How dare you dodge me.

Today's Fanboy Delusion

2012-01-24T12:17:00.002-05:00

Today I'd rather be...

... taking in the view with Justin Chatwin.

Pic of the Day

2012-01-24T11:53:00.002-05:00

I Facebook'd and Tweeted and Tumblr'd pictures from the W.E. screening I attended at the Ziegfeld Theater here in NYC last evening the second I got home - lest anybody not know for five seconds longer than they should go on without knowing such a thing that I stood half a foot away from Madonna - so all that remains is to blog about it!

I won't be saying anything about the film itself until the thing's released on February 3rd, but I will say it was a surreal thing, seeing Madge in person, and so super duper close up at that. After introducing the film she walked right past me, inches away, the only thing between us an incredibly handsome and well-groomed security guard who looked like a retired football player, and while I'd love to make a bitchy comment about how buffed to a sheen she was she actually looked better than I expected her to in person. I haven't really been a fan since I was in college doing lots of drugs and dancing my brains loose, so I'm prone to snark, but I'll give her a pass this time. There are worse icons to borrow from than Mae West and she was in full on Mae West last evening. Can't knock that.

poll by twiigs.com

5 Off My Head - Oscar Noms Nom Nom Nom

2012-01-24T11:06:00.007-05:00

I figured my earlier post dedicated to the penises of Michael Fassbender and Michael Shannon (and the bum of Jean Dujardin) would be enough to get the Oscar chatter out of my system but I actually feel like talking about the nominations this morning, surprisingly. So here are some thoughts on the categories. I'll highlight where my vote if I had one would go in red.

ACTRESS in a LEADING Role

Glenn Close in "Albert Nobbs"

Viola Davis in "The Help"

Rooney Mara in "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo"

Meryl Streep in "The Iron Lady"

Michelle Williams in "My Week with Marilyn"

No Tilda, no Charlize. (No Juliette Binoche for that matter, not that she was ever in the running.) Bah, y'all. My vote would go to Rooney Mara, who I thought was incredible in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. Viola made champagne from shit with The Help but that movie was too sloppy to give anybody a manageable character arc. I thought Williams was good in My Week With Marilyn but again, she was let down by what the movie asked of her. Close was just bizarre, not in a good way. Haven't seen The Iron Lady.

ACTRESS in a SUPPORTING Role

Bérénice Bejo in "The Artist"

Jessica Chastain in "The Help"

Melissa McCarthy in "Bridesmaids"

Janet McTeer in "Albert Nobbs"

Octavia Spencer in "The Help"

Bejo was not that great in The Artist. She was what kept me from falling in love with the movie whole-heartedly. Chastain was a hoot in The Help, and I love her now, but she was amazing in Take Shelter, her nom should be for that. I suppose she could win for just being good in twenty different things this year. They say it's Octavia's to win and I like Octavia, she's very funny, but I don't get the praise for that performance. It never dug beneath the surface. I'm almost willing to root for Janet McTeer just if she promises to flash her enormous hooters on stage. But obviously my vote goes to Melissa McCarthy. Go fans united front!

ACTOR in a LEADING Role

Demián Bichir in "A Better Life"

George Clooney in "The Descendants"

Jean Dujardin in "The Artist"

Gary Oldman in "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy"

Brad Pitt in "Moneyball"

If I were handing out the trophy it would go to Jean Dujardin. I've made it clear that I didn't like Clooney's performance in The Descendants or Brad Pitt's in Moneyball. I liked Oldman in Tinker Tailor and would be perfectly happy if he won, but out of these five I prefer Dujardin's livelier performance. I haven't seen A Better Life so I can't speak on Bichir. Of course, Michael Fassbender and Michael Shannon aren't here so this list is meaningless anyway.

ACTOR in a SUPPORTING Role

Kenneth Branagh in "My Week with Marilyn"

Jonah Hill in "Moneyball"

Nick Nolte in "Warrior"

Christopher Plummer in "Beginners"

Max von Sydow in "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close"

Nick Nolte was fucking terrible in Warrior. His big dramatic scene, the one I have no doubt they'll use for his Oscar clip, was embarrassingly bad. Tom Hardy or Joel Edgerton were both great, give them some love Academy! Gah. Jonah Hill was just "Jonah Hill wearing glasses" in Moneyball, I can't fathom the praise he's gotten. Inexplicable. Plummer was terrific in Beginners, and he'll win, so I suppose this is fine. No Albert Brooks though equals the turd in the punchbowl. Branagh was fine, whatever. I haven't seen and have no plans to ever see Extremely Loud - I almost feel like we people who were here in NYC that day ought to be able to sue the people who made the movie for the continued assault of trailers for it that make me so goddamned angry every goddamned time. (And I am one of ten people who still like The Reader, but no Stephen Daldry, no)

WRITING (ADAPTED Screenplay)

"The Descendants" Alexander Payne Nat Faxon Jim Rash

"Hugo" John Logan

"The Ides of March"George Clooney Grant Heslov Beau Willimon

"Moneyball" Steven Zaillian Aaron Sorkin Stan Chervin

"Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy" Bridget O'Connor Peter Straughan

I already half expected them to snub Michael Fassbender and Charlize and Tilda and Michael Shannon so I'm not that surprised this morning on those ones, so I think the nomination off my head that's making me the angriest is this here writing nomination for The Ides of March. That is a TERRIBLE script, I just bitched about it in my review the other day. An awful movie in general, but the script was the worst offender. Just trite nonsense, lazy and boring and awful, ugh. Ugh! Not that the scripts for The Descendants or Moneyball were much better but at least they had their moments. Just keep jerking George Clooney off, y'all. He needs it.

Five Frames From ?

2012-01-24T10:10:00.001-05:00

What movie is this?

Good Morning, Oscar Snubbed Michaels

2012-01-24T09:47:00.002-05:00

Michaels Fassbender and Shannon, I hope and trust
that you both know what a silly game the Oscars are.

You have my little golden man if you want it!

Here's the whole list of nominees if you missed it.

(I doubt anybody reading this blog has missed it, but whatever)

It reads like a who's who of WHAAAAAA??? But hey, Jean Dujardin.

He should win for that movie where the guy plays with his ass alone.

It's kind of early for all this smut, I think. Ah well. C'est la vie!

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

2012-01-23T17:11:00.004-05:00

... you can learn from:

Querelle (1982)

.

.

Lysiane: [singing] Each man kills the thing he loves!
Each man kills the thing he loves!
Da da da. Da da da da.

A happy 84th birthday to the legend Jeanne Moreau!

BLated BCoop Bday

2012-01-23T16:56:00.001-05:00

We missed Bradley's birthday the other week.

Shame on us. Happy belated, Brad!

The Tunnel in 150 Words or Less

2012-01-23T16:26:00.000-05:00

It owes more to its "found footage" forebears than it probably should - there are moments that, if they're not intended as homages to The Blair Witch Project and [REC] (and The Descent for that matter), are too distractingly similar - but like those movies it got a rise out of me all the same. I know these flicks aren't everybody's cuppa, but I'm a pretty easy mark for them. They get you in there, right in the moment, and then they turn the lights out and you're in a room with a monster and it just works on me every damn time, what can I say. And besides the sometimes cinematic déjà vu, The Tunnel has a trio of very important points in its corner: the characters are likable, the setting is scary, and the monsters are freaky. Toss all that together and if you're up for it you're gonna have a good, scary time.

Eduardo Noriega Eight Times

2012-01-23T16:05:00.000-05:00

He looks a lot like Eli Roth in those pictures, doesn't he? I've never thought they looked a lot alike before, but they do here. I am not crazy! Don't look at me like that. They could be brothers here. See?

poll by twiigs.com

I mean Eduardo's the sexier less-hirsute more-Spanish brother,
obviously, but it's totally there.

Pic of the Day

2012-01-23T12:53:00.000-05:00

Via Man of Steel's Facebook page - just pretend Mister Mxyzptlk hit you with a shrink-ray and that it's not at all pervy that you're projecting yourself onto an actual little kid being cradled between Henry Cavill's loving latex arms.

Five Frames From ?

2012-01-23T12:33:00.002-05:00

What movie is this?

What Do You Suppose They Are Laughing At?

2012-01-23T12:00:00.002-05:00

(via)

Look Who Hung Out

2012-01-23T11:16:00.000-05:00

It's one-time BFFs Jake Gyllenhaal and Austin Nichols! We haven't seen them together since they went riding bikes in April of 2009, I think. That doesn't mean they haven't been together - or together, even - since then. Just we haven't seen it if they have. The "unfortunately" is implied. And hey, Adam Levine was there too! This has the makings of something interesting inside my imaginations...

Avenger Super Arms

2012-01-23T10:20:00.002-05:00

It's all about the biceps in these two new shots of Jeremy Renner and Chris Evans in Joss Whedon's Avengers movie. See more of the shots, with some Scarlett Johansson and Sam Jackson, over here. Their biceps aren't as lovely though.

Good Morning, World Benedict Cumberbatch

2012-01-23T09:58:00.004-05:00

Guess who watched the entire first season (excuse me, series - now that we're watching Brit TV we should speak accordingly) - of Sherlock over the weekend? This guy! I took y'all's advice and took to Netflix and plowed right through the first three... episodes? Movies? They're awfully long to call episodes. I don't understand how British TV schedules things. Driving on the other side of the street, hour and a half long episodes - it's chaos over there! Chaos! Anyway y'all were enthusiastically emphatic about me watching the show when I asked, so I did. And I liked it quite a bit! I'll probably even watch the second season excuse me series before the week is through. Good job, everyone! In celebration, here are some pictures of a naked Benedict Cumberbatch, who confounded me for so long. Now I get it. He's terrific. Bonus: he's standing in front of book shelves in a few of these shots! My bookshelf fetish doesn't get nearly enough action. Hit the jump for more.

2012-01-20T17:57:00.002-05:00

Chris Hemsworth Is Finnick Odair

2012-01-20T17:49:00.006-05:00

Or at least he could be, is the thought I had while looking at these four new shots of him romping in the water (in addition to the ones I already posted here and here). Has his name been mentioned for the important role showing up in the next chapter of The Hunger Games trilogy? He must have. Anyway he'd get to work with his brother Liam, even! (Although, do Gale and Finnick cross paths? I read the books so quickly and such awhile ago that they're starting to become quite vague in my recollection.) Anyway Chris Hemsworth would make a fine Finnick, I'm just putting that out there. He's even a decent age for the role, right? Maybe a wee bit older, but he could pull it off, they've aged everybody up a little bit anyway. Okay I just want to see him in all the skimpy sea-man Finnick outfits, it's true, you know it's true, I know it's true, whatever.

Just What Are You Getting At, Gary Cooper?

2012-01-20T17:23:00.001-05:00

Pervert!

I was sent into a Gary Cooper obsess spiral earlier this afternoon when I read this several-week-old review of Ernst Lubitsch's pre-code threesome comedy Design For Living by Kim Morgan. It stars the Coop and Fredric March and Miriam Hopkins, and I have never seen this movie but I knew once I saw a couple of pictures I would be watching it, like tonight. I mean come on!

Who the hell does this woman think she is anyway? The nerve! If I'd have been a woman on the street in 1933 who saw this movie and then saw Miriam Hopkins walk by I would have walked right up to her and given her a talking to. Stealing all the men. Harumph! Also, jealousy, jealousy, so much jealousy.

So anyway I will watch this movie this weekend for sure,

and that's the end of my story. Now, eyes. Dear god so much eyes.

Blow Me Away, Ewan

2012-01-20T14:38:00.001-05:00

I've already seen and reviewed the movies coming out this weekend that I'd have had any desire to see - those being Steven Soderbergh's Hayire (review) and Ralph Fiennes' Coriolanus (review) - so I'm going to try and finally catch up on movies I haven't gotten around to seeing yet instead. (Hello, Tintin!) I can't quite make my mind up on Zhang Yimou's The Flowers of War - the reviews have been disappointing, to put it kindly, and the photos I've seen from the film don't seem to have any of that visual flair I need from his movies. Hrm. Anyway, point being, there are movies out today! So I wrote up some thoughts on them at Celebrity Beehive, go read that. And because you're all wonderful people I've attached two shots of Ewan McGregor being hot to this post. Enjoy.

Which Is Hotter?

2012-01-20T13:18:00.001-05:00

It's the genius David Lynch's 66th birthday today (hey he's exactly one day younger than Dolly Parton! They really should have worked together. Imagine!) and since thanks to the brilliant television program Enlightened we're knee-deep in a moment with his muse Laura Dern (not that we're ever not in a Laura Dern moment, we've always adored her) we thought we'd mix the two up and ask...

poll by twiigs.com

With all apologies to the hottest of them all, of course...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

2012-01-20T12:42:00.001-05:00

... you can learn from:

Clueless (1995)

Tai: Cher, you're a virgin?
Cher: You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dionne: Besides, the PC term is "Hymenally challenged".

Happy birthday, Stacey Dash!

(Aww now I miss Brittany Murphy again)

Five Frames From ?

2012-01-20T12:16:00.002-05:00

What movie is this?

More Thor Torso More

2012-01-20T11:24:00.001-05:00

For someone who looks like Chris Hemsworth looks without his clothes on, Chris Hemsworth doesn't spend nearly enough time showing it off. Why doesn't he take the example set forth by his constantly beach-romping countryman Hugh Jackman? Why, I ask??? Anyway since spottings of him of this sort are too rare, you'll forgive me for posting a few more shots from the bunch I already posted some from yesterday, I think. With bonus Matt Damon! (via)

I Am Link

2012-01-20T11:05:00.000-05:00

--- Battle of the Bears - Billy Bob Thornton is really spoiling the multiplied sexiness of this news, but he and Thomas Jane and James Marsden have signed on to a movie called Red Machine where it will be them versus a bear! Oh wait, not this kind of a bear? Damn, the news just gets less and less sexy.

--- Mitty Meets Wiig - Hrm, I dunno how much I like this news of Kristen Wiig signing on the be "the girl" in a Ben Stiller comedy. Granted it's a new version of The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, a story I've always had affection for, but no doubt he'll dumb it down since that's what he's always doing. (Unless we're speaking about the rare appearance of Greenberg-isn Ben Stiller, which we hope.) Anyway hopefully there's something for Wiig to do here other than be "the girl." She's past that now, ain't she?

--- Tarnished Gold - Ha, I am loving Joe's new Tumblr This Had Oscar Buzz, where he reminds us of the nonsense of Oscar seasons past. Riding in Buzz with HA HA HA HA HA, lol.

--- Sexy and Starving - Jennifer Lawrence (should I quit trying to make "JLaw" happen? her name has so many letters, y'all, I'm already sick of typing it) looks hot on this poster for The Hunger Games, which... well Katniss really shouldn't look this hot. But whatever. Who wants to look at icky starving people anyway?

--- Giant Tumble - Bryan Singer's Jack the Giant Killer has been pushed like forever away, from June of this year until March of next. People would have been more enthusiastic about the trailer if they hadn't released it like five seconds after the Dark Knight Rises trailer, ya big bunch of dummies. This has had the effect of putting a big question mark around Arthur and Lancelot, that fantasy movie set to star Game of Thrones' sexy depressive Jon Snow aka Kit Harington and that Joel Kinnman person (also sexy, depressive not sure about), which was going to come out on the day where Jack the Giant Killer now is. Since I know they weren't going to make it a gay romance between Kit and Joel, I am less upset about this then I otherwise would've been.

--- Super Junk - These pictures of Henry Cavill at the airport probably don't deserve their own post, but I will link to them at JJ anyway because damn that ass.

--- Wind Under Wings - I love this - there's a screening of classic 80s weepie Beaches happening on January 28th here in NYC being billed as a "Cry Along"! How great is that? I do wish it were a double-bill with Bette Midler's Stella though, because as we all know, I cannot get enough of Stella.

--- Hey Hey Haywire - I wrote up my thoughts on Steven Soderbergh's new movie Haywire earlier this week, and now you can compare and contrast them with my viewing partner Nathaniel in his review at Towleroad. I liked it more, and not only because I don't have a thing against yellow.

Good Morning, World

2012-01-20T09:54:00.002-05:00

A very happy 42nd birthday to Scream and The Craft (can't forget The Craft!) actor Skeet Ulrich today. Actually I had completely forgotten he was in The Craft until IMDb reminded me. Which only underlines how desperately I need to watch The Craft again. Were he and Neve having a fling or something? They were momentarily the Bogie and Bacall of our times and we didn't even know it! I'm rambling because I don't really have much of anything to say about Skeet. But here are some pictures of him after the jump anyway!

I Don't Know What Dominic Cooper...

2012-01-19T18:17:00.003-05:00

... is about to do to that strange pot of sticks,
but I want in, whatever it may be.

Three Quick Reviews

2012-01-19T16:27:00.019-05:00

If I don't type up a couple thoughts on these movies I've seen in the past week right now, I probably never will. This is wholly off the cuff, and therefore probably going to be nonsense, but whatcha gonna do? Actually take the time to craft something thoughtful? Bah! Seriously though, if I had much to say on these I would, like I did with Haywire yesterday. But I don't. So I won't.

The Ides of March - Really exceptionally boring. Clooney seemed asleep in front of and behind the camera - I don't know why he made this movie except maybe he wanted to jerk off on the memory of Sidney Lumet. I guess he got to pretend he was running for office without any of the actual tough parts. There's more insight in a five minute Rachel Maddow monologue. The writing was occasionally plunge-out-my-eardrums-with-a-fork awful. Ryan Gosling's accent is all over the place, but he wears his suits well. (Shocker.) He didn't really seem to know who this character was he was playing, either. Nobody much felt like a person. Marisa Tomei maybe, and Phillip Seymour Hoffman was pretty good.

Moneyball - Speaking of PSH being best in show, I loved every shot of his scowling baseball coach here, but I didn't like this movie either. I have no special love for stereotypically told "Sports Movies" with their routine telling of the old-as-time underdog tale but this movie seemed disingenuous to me in its attempts at being different just for different's sake. Something just rang really false about it all to me, like everybody involved was so actively engaged in carving off expectations that they forgot to make any of it involving, or interesting. Like with Ides of March, Moneyball never got me anywhere near giving a shit about any of these people and their ridiculous problems. Oh Brad Pitt was fine (I generally very much like watching him onscreen, even when he's clothed) and as a vehicle for him coasting along amiably it was fine but we live in a skewed universe where this can be considered the best anything. It's just slightly less obnoxious than Clooney's golden praise for his dull scattered work in The Descendants. Jonah Hill wore glasses, so I guess that was respectable of him? I don't even know.

Carnage - Of the three this is definitely my favorite, and I'm sure I'll find myself watching Carnage again someday, but it's by no means a homerun. As I said earlier this week I'm perfectly on board with Joe Reid's rankings of the performances - Kate Winslet walks away handily with best in show (Barf of the century!), while Jodie seems a little lost. I kept feeling like she was panic-stricken looking for a closet to lock herself in so she'd feel comfortable enough with her surroundings to get her bearings. Although you figure this is, generally speaking, another "trapped in an enclosed space" sort of movie for her - too bad Jared Leto and his cornrows never swung through the window! I'd never seem the play, and I have to admit I was a little bit put off by the occasional facile misstep, but it is a tricky beast and I could see some of the off-notes working if the whole cast were a little bit tighter in step. Polanski does a good job working the space for all its worth - there must be five thousand camera set-ups in this thing, looking at these four people from every single angle there could ever be, keeping the single set feeling more dynamic than it could have.
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Howl, Wolfman Joe

2012-01-19T16:00:00.002-05:00

Ah-wooooooo! (via)

Do Dump or Marry - The Ladies Of Consolidated

2012-01-19T13:19:00.001-05:00

In honor of Dolly Parton's 66th birthday today - happy birthday Dolly! - I ask you to look back upon the classic silly 1980 comedy Nine to Five for our first all female edition of Do Dump or Marry. I figure Dolly and Lily and Jane are the movie itself are all gay enough to overcome any funny feelings their lady business might inspire.

This query involves their characters - the mousy newcomer Judy (played by Jane Fonda), the manic yet efficient Violet (played by Lily Tomlin) and the busty and bubbly Doralee (played by Dolly). Which would you drop the pencil in your office for some afternoon delight with, which would you give their pink slip, and which would you chain up in an elaborate system of cords and pulleys to keep forever?

Hit the comments with your answers!

Five Frames From ?

2012-01-19T12:57:00.000-05:00

What movie is this?

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

2012-01-19T12:01:00.000-05:00

... you can learn from:

Marnie (1964)

Bernice: Oh, Marnie. You shouldn't spend
all your money on me like you do.
Marnie: But that's what money's for: to spend.
Like the Bible says, "Money answereth all things."

Happy 82nd birthday, Tippi!

Fassy Ten Times

2012-01-19T11:44:00.002-05:00

Phew! I was nervous for a second that yesterday's nightmare premonition of a day without shirtless Fassy pictures would come true sooner than I'd feared, but no thankfully THR put up a whole slideshow of pictures from the same shoot where we found him and his nipples on their cover yesterday. We can breathe easy. For now! The whole emotional roller-coaster starts back up in 24 hours!

I Can't Liv If Livvin' Is Without Liv

2012-01-19T11:29:00.000-05:00

Alright so apparently today is a day for titling my posts after random ass songs. Why not? This news broke yesterday but I was too busy pressing my eyeballs against my computer screen where I'd entrapped a thousand images of her Strangers co-star Scott Speedman to mention this - Liv Tyler has taken the lead role in House of the Devil and Innkeepers director Ti West's new movie, currently called The Side Effect. We had mentioned this movie the other day since Ti had mentioned in an interview that it was what he was planning on doing next, but now we've got a little more info on it, plot-wise:

"Tyler will play Catherine Rigby, an outer space test subject for a pharmaceutical company that, after taking a new drug, mysteriously becomes pregnant and has to deal with the mounting fears of what has really transpired."

So Rosemary's Baby... In Space! Actually it doesn't really sound anything much like Rosemary's Baby at all, besides Rosemary being the go-to shorthand for "Pregnancy is freaking me the fuck out!" movies. But it sounds rife with possibility! And Ti does claustrophobia well, which is usually why anybody makes a movie in space, in order to contain someone in ever smaller spots. But this time there's a baby on board! Dun dun dun.
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Flame On... In A Minute

2012-01-19T11:13:00.002-05:00

Hey look it's Katniss and Peeta in their Hunger Games ceremonial super-dress (the super thanks to super stylist Cinna) right before hitting the stage where... well, you'll see.

I just hope Peeta's hair-gel isn't flammable. (via)

He Don't Eat Meat But He Sure Likes The Bone

2012-01-19T10:58:00.003-05:00

Ah crap now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head all day. Why do I do these things to myself??? Ahem. I have never read any of Jeff Smith's cult comic book Bone, but I am familiar with it existing. I have seen the little white blob character that may or may not be named Bone many times. Another single-word-titled thing I haven't personally experienced (in this case, seen) but am familiar with is the television program Greek. What do these two things have in common suddenly that's of import to me? The answer is Muriel's Wedding. That is, its director. Via THR:

"Patrick Sean Smith, who created the ABC Family show Greek, is jumping into features. Smith has been tapped to write Bone, Warner Bros.’ adaptation of the cult-favorite Jeff Smith comic book that now has P.J. Hogan attached to direct.

... The comic follows three cousins from the Bone family, small, bald and humanlike creatures with big noses. The trio are run out of their hometown and find themselves in a mysterious valley where they are separated and hunted by other creatures. They are taken in by a girl named Thorn and her grandmother, and they find out that the valley is threatened by an evil force called the Lord of the Locusts.

The comics were published from 1991 to 2004 but were rediscovered by a new generation when Scholastic began putting out trade paperbacks (aka the graphic novel format), selling million copies.

... Hogan will likely polish the script after Smith and the plan is for him to direct the movie in Australia, the home of both Hogan and Animal Logic. The company was the animation house behind Happy Feet 2 and Legends of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole."

Hogan just made a movie starring Muriel herself Toni Collette called Mental, which I need to be watching like right this very minute, but it'll probably be out some time later this year, fingers crossed. It's not that strange a step for Hogan to be making an animated movie like this, since he did make the wonderful 2003 version of Peter Pan - he's dazzled with kiddie stuff before, that is.

Today's Fanboy Delusion

2012-01-19T10:29:00.001-05:00

Today I'd rather be...

... slippin' and a-slidin' with Chris Hemsworth. (via)

Good Morning, World

2012-01-19T10:04:00.001-05:00

It's the 32nd birthday of the actor Luke MacFarlane today, so we're going to celebrate that by doing what we do. I've never been able to watch more than ten minutes of Brothers and Sisters but I know who MacFarlane is because, well, look at him. Also he plays a gay on the show and is a gay in real life, so we gays tend to take note of such matters. Hey remember when he was all "buddy buddy" with Wentworth Miller? Mmhmm. Anyway after the jump there's the usual blitzkrieg o' beefcake, so hit it.

Quote of the Day

2012-01-18T17:41:00.009-05:00

Paper Magazine interviewed Matty Bomer on some stuff, and besides learning that he did some pole-centric research for Steven Soderbergh's male stripper movie Magic Mike - he says that the stripper group called "The Hollywood Men were super collaborative and welcoming," and I'm sure they all collaborated just super, aren't you? I hope they videotaped these "collaborations" - he also has this to say about the movie's best dancer:

"Channing's dancing in this movie is, I mean, it defies the laws of physics! It's insane. I can't wait for people to see it. They're just gonna freak out. It was one of the most amazing things I've ever seen."

Mmhmm. I'm sure it's seared right into your brain's most happy places, Matt. And soon it will be seared into all of us.

ETA Okay I missed this quote from him at Vulture:

"I have two routines: Dr. Love and Ken Doll...Yes, [my character's] name is Ken, and his Ken Doll is Plasticine, well put together, and it's a play on the fantasy. What if a little girl's Ken Doll came to life? Wasn't that your fantasy? I don't know if little girls fantasized about that, but we go there."

That just sounds weird. This next quote's better. Much less terrifying:

"We pretty much all got down to our thongs, although one of us, his thong got kind of ripped off. That's not going to make the film."

He is the gift that keeps on giving. (And receiving, no doubt.)
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He Wants To Sex Us Up

2012-01-18T17:23:00.001-05:00

One of these days there's not gonna be a new picture of Michael Fassbender without his clothes on released, and that day is going to be just terrible. But that day is not today, my friends! (via; click to embiggen) And you should read the interview at that link - he jokes his father was "very proud" when he saw his son's nude scene in Shame. Ha! He should be.