I Am Link

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--- Say Uncle - So I appear to have completely forgotten to post on The Man From UNCLE's trailer, imagine that? It wouldn't it couldn't possibly have anything to do with the fact that Henry Cavill and Armie Hammer both keep all of their clothes on and never really make much in the way sex-eyes at each other in it. It couldn't possibly! Work harder, Man From UNCLE. More of this stuff, please. (I do like their wonky accents, though.)

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--- And Speaking of Guy Ritchie whiffing my gay fantasies he just cast Eric Bana (seen to the left there making yet another pair of jeans his bitch) as Charlie Hunnam's daddy in his King Arthur movie, which inspired an incesty tweet on my part. Bana and Hunnam co-starred previously in that movie Deadfall which never capitalized on their bodily proximity, and I doubt Guy Ritchie will make King Arthur about father-son sex either so whatever, man. Whatever!

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--- Gotta Date - Stephen King's time-travel thriller 11/22/63, about a dude who finds a portal to the past and uses it to try and prevent the assassination of JFK, is going to be turned into a nine-hour miniseries for Hulu, and it will star James Franco. I think I knew about everything before today save the James Franco part, but who the hell can really keep track of these things. I think Franco might be a good choice for the part though? I read the book and I can mentally insert him into it without total agony (that's what she said) anyway.
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--- Squad Leader - Tom Hardy's Child 44 co-star (and rival haircut enthusiast) Joel Kinnaman has just replaced him in David Ayer's Suicide Squad, that super-villain team-up movie that co-stars Jai Courtney and then a lot of other people that I don't like. Hardy had to drop out (and ruin my Hardy-on-Jai fantasies) due to bad timing. I keep wanting to like Kinnaman, he sho' is pretty, but he refuses to pose for beefcake pictorials so I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Get it together, Joel. It also just hit me that Margot Robbie, who's the playing Harley Quinn to Jared Leto's Joker, is gonna have to deal with Jared Leto a bunch over this shoot and I immediately felt so bad for her.

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--- Super Sad TV Star - I'm not exactly sure if they're saying Ben Stiller's going to star in it or not but THR has word that he's attached, as a star or a producer I don't know, to a TV adaptation of Gary Shteyngart's 2011 book Super Sad True Love Story - I haven't ever read SSTLS but my boyfriend has and he loves it, so I deliver this with a heavy heart to him, knowing he generally doesn't like Ben Stiller. Let's see what he has to say!

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--- Lad In Leather - Yeah I don't really know why I'm still nursing a crush on Danny Dyer either, I never see anything he makes anymore (he's on some TV series in the UK now right?) but don't pester me about it, I don't feel like explaining myself. Instead let us gaze upon the trailer for some new kinda-crappy-looking movie called Assassin that he's in, as well as a collection of pictures of him in a leather jacket, cuz why not. His co-stars are the twin dudes who played The Krays in that movie! The one before Tom Hardy got around to it.
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--- Melanie Melanie Melanie - This interview at Out Magazine with SNL alum Melanie Hutsell (love her) is both tons of fun (yay Jan Hooks and The Brady Bunch) and kinda sad (the part where she addresses not being invited to the "Women of SNL" special) but it allw orks out in the end because she's all set to be there this weekend for the great big 40th anniversary special blow-out.

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--- Slashin' Celebrate - We celebrated Friday the 13th in our own beefcake-y way earlier, but now let us turn our eyes towards Final Girl, where Stacie is mentally cycling through all the characters in all the movies and picking which ones she'd probably like to hang out with and like, veg or whatever. She makes many valid points! (Mark is clearly my choice - I would build a ramp straight into my bed.)
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--- Action Figure - Michael Fassbender's adaptation of the Assassin's Creed video-game is happening, totally, it's just gotten the green-light from the studio and a release date - December 21st, 2016, to be exact. That's a weird release date for a video-game movie - right in the thick of Oscar season. Hmm. Justin Kurzel, who made the terrifying film Snowtown and also the MacBeth movie with Fassy and Marion Cotillard which comes out later this year, is set to direct it. (ETA Just read that Marion Cotillard is doing the movie too! Wowza!)

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--- Beast Master - Can you believe that I've never seen Highlander? I've really gotta right that wrong before the remake appears - speaking of (yes I bring it up for a point, imagine that) I guess Dave Batista, the dude who makes gigantic brute musculature somehow also seem kinda sleek and sexy, is set to play some character named Kurgan, described as a barbarian and the final villain the as-yet-uncast titular hero faces. Dave will look excellent in sleeveless furs, no doubt.

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--- And finally, there's nothing in the way of footage but I suppose this gives us an idea of tone - a teaser for Ryan Murphy's upcoming slasher anthology thing with Jamie Lee Curtis called Scream Queens just got released - it's only twelve seconds long but it's already making me realize this thing's going to be aiming at a more jokey tone than I was anticipating. Which already, in retrospect, all of one minute after watching it, seems to have been a dumb assumption of me - of course this was what we should've been expecting, to set it apart from the dark tone of AHS.

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Post by Scream Queens.

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