I Am Link

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--- Action Stratton - Henry Cavill is moving into producing, cuz that's what you do; he and his brother are teaming up (out dirty thoughts, out dirty thoughts) to get an action-thriller called Stratton made, which will star, you guessed it, Henry as the lead character John Stratton from a series of novels by Duncan Falconer (how is that a real name) - anybody read them?

--- Foxx Trap - Well that killed my enthusiasm quick - Harmony Korine's cast Jamie Foxx to star in his upcming gangster drama called The Trap. Boo. I can't stand Jamie Foxx.  It's also got Benicio Del Toro, who I also (save Traffic) find kinda insufferable. Can Harmony use them in a way that doesn't make me want to slap them silly?

--- Hey You Guys - I'd seen the 1982 pictures of former NFL defensive lineman John Matuszak in Playgirl before because, well, because, but somehow I'd never put it together that Matuszak played Sloth in The Goonies, and now I feel ridiculous for not realizing this. Buzzfeed put two and Sloth together for me, and they've got more pictures at that link.

--- Throw Me A Bone - I can't really even remember why I was so excited about the upcoming Western called Bone Tomahawk once upon a time - I mean, I guess it being about "cannibalistic troglodytes" attacking folks was a bit of a hook. And it does co-star Patrick Wilson. Okay I have re-convinced myself I need to see it. Here's the first picture from the movie, of Kurt Russell on a horse - I wish it was Patrick Wilson in his underwear wrestling a cannibalistic troglodyte but I'll just assume they're holding that for the trailer.

--- Joel Says Cut - Hot actor Joel Edgerton, who's already written some pretty good movies, is finally getting around to directing - he's going to make a "contemporary suspense thriller" starring the fine and lovely Rebecca Hall, who could use a good role right about now, as well as himself. It doesn't have a title or plot description yet, but hopefully it's got something to do with Joel wearing those riding pants from The Great Gatsby.

--- The Who Lagoon - They're not saying which monster it is, but Universal, who're in the process of rebooting all their classic monsters, has given an April 2017 date to a mystery monster movie which will be written by Noah Hawley, who oversaw the Fargo TV show (which I adored). It's not Dracula cuz we just got that Luke Evans thing, and it's not The Mummy because that's already been announced - my guess is The Creature From The Black Lagoon, which I literally just ranted about how I can't believe the monster hasn't been revisited in such a long time.

--- And Speaking of another thing I was just talking about, the 2008 horror flick Splinter popped into my head last week (I meant to re-watch it, I really liked it when it came out) and it got me wondering what the hell its director has gotten himself up to since then - well here's my answer: he's just announced a movie called iNvasion (just say no to randomly capitalized letters), which sounds kinda like Stephen King's Cell meets Body Snatchers. Maybe some The Faculty drizzled on top?

--- Agent Cooper - The very first clip from Marvel's Agent Carter television show has arrived and bless my loins it features Dominic Cooper reprising his role as Howard Stark! They took so long to confirm he was doing the show I feared they'd hold him off until mid-season or something, not wanting to blow their load too early or whatever, but thankfully they're just shooting it all over us right at the start. Bring it on!

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