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The Tattered Trousers go to the worst movies I saw last year. The ones you'd have to use physical force and oodles of restraints - oodles! - in order to get me to watch them again, and even then I would probably chew my own tongue off and suffocate myself with it before I made it through the opening credits. So, you know - buyer beware! I always keep these brief because none of us need to spend any more time with these movies ever again, so let's just get it over with. Hold your noses, people!
Wrath of the Titans
The Cold Light of Day
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Rise of the Guardians (
review)
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This Means War
Paranormal Activity 4 (
review)
Posts
7 comments:
I will actually defend "Vamps". It's rarely actually funny, but it's so sweet-natured. The themes about nostalgia and the emotional toll of living forever actually kind of got to me, too. It has its moments of dubious competence but I found it hard to hate and surprising that it ever got made (in a good way).
I will totally give you sweet-natured - so much that I do feel bad hating on it. Especially at the time I saw it because Amy Heckerling was there and gave a Q&A afterwards where she talked about how hard it was to get made! But god it pained me inside. It was like it was sucking all of the laughter I've ever had inside of me out, making me forget what it was for something to have ever been funny.
Hitchcock was godawful and offensive. But I think the worst movie of the year was The Dark Knight Rises.
Nothing comes close to This is 40. What a boring piece of shit.
Anon - I love you for saying that! I really considered putting TDKR up in here (I hated it when I saw it and it only fell apart more the further away I got) but there are a couple of little things about it that I do like (I like what Tom Hardy's doing as Bane, weirdly) that kept it off in the end. But by all means, direct all the hate in the world at it! It's a fucking mess.
Tyler - If I felt like writing more when I did these awards instead of just plopping them out right quick I was going to make it known that This is 40 is hands down the worst. I hate that movie SO MUCH, with every fiber of my being.
I will also defend Vamps. It had this obvious "sat on the shelf" feel to it and it seemed like it was made for very cheap. But it was cute and harmless overall, and by the end I found myself in tears. It's like there was this profound, better produced vampire comedy underneath. Some statement about how awful and tiring it would be to live forever. etc. etc.
I am so glad I only saw one of those movies. "Total Recall"was forced upon me by friends, so screw them.
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