I Am Link

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--- Diagnose Me Feverish - Slash has got the first three official pictures from David Cronenberg's The Dangerous Method - they've apparently changed the title from A Dangerous Method, and way back it was originally titled Talking Cure - including shots of Viggo and Keira by themselves, but of course I had to carry over the shot with Keira and Fassy because oh him. I can already tell he's going to make that mustache and those glasses and that stiff collared suit the sexiest thing on all of the earth in any time ever. Ever. Ever. Ravish me stuffy psychoanalyst style! Ahem.

--- Goodbye Matty - When the original batch of actors for Roman Polanski's adaptation of Gods of Carnage was announced everybody was like cool Jodie Foster, cool Christoph Waltz, cool Kate Winslet... uh, Matt Dillon? Really? Well now Dillon's been replaced by John C. Reilly it seems. Which... cool John C. Reilly.

--- I Just Can't - I've written my fair share of dunder-headed articles in my time, to be sure - you can just randomly jump to anywhere in the archives and find evidence of that, no doubt - but man alive this article at io9 on Michael Haneke's Funny Games makes me head hurt it's so fucking stupid. How is this the basis for an article? I don't like that! I don't understand it! Wah! I feel like I should sue io9 for the five minutes of my life I just wasted. I mean, really? You just wrote that post? Go stand in the corner. It's not that I can't argue over the merits of the sequence in question - I have before, and I've enjoyed it before. But what's going on here is so much dumber than that... I mean, he quotes a commenter on YouTube that write in all caps as his defense! Ugh, I just can't. Somebody got paid to write that thing. Jesus.

--- Corsets & Carnage - Now that Natalie Portman and David O. Russell have moved on, some new names being thrown out there as possibilities for Pride and Prejudice and Zombies - Mike Newell, Neil Marshall (YES), and David Slade for directors, and Scarlett Johannson, Bradley Cooper, Tilda Swinton (HELL YES), Catherine O'Hara (FUCK YES), and Mia Wasikowska (sure).

--- Gonzo Giallo - Adrien Brody is suing the producers of Giallo, his supposedly epically awful horror film with Italian one-time-maestro Dario Argento, because they've never paid him for his work. The film comes out on DVD tomorrow, so I hope I get my copy from Netflix quick before they're ordered to take it off the shelves. Virtual shelves, whatever. I need to see how bad it is, don't you understand Adrien Brody??? I once had high hopes for this. Alas. Now I have low, low, low hopes, and they're almost as exciting.

--- Fox and Friends - Megan Fox has joined Friends With Kids, that movie Jon Hamm's girlfriend is making with Hamm and Kristen Wiig and Adam Scott (yay). I hope Megan has more to do than just be The Hot Chick. I know 9 out of 10 of you disagree but I think she's terrific, Transformers be damned.

--- Pain For Harvey - Remember back in the day how I used to rant about what complete utter jackasses the Weinsteins were when it came to horror movies? Those were good times. And they're here again! Because apparently their most recent brainstorm is to turn a new Hellraiser movie into a PG-13 teen-friendly monstrosity. Yes indeed, the series about the pleasure of pain and stuffed with S+M demons from hell yanking people's nipples off is now gonna be something for Mom to drop the kids off to when she needs to get her nails done. I... just can't. Today has already defeated me.

--- Hit Shuffle - If you're wanting to read some thoughts on the first pair of The Walking Dead episodes without spoilers then click over here to io9 where they've reviewd them just that way. Basic gist: outlook good. Very good.
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