Today is just The Day of me posting about movies that other than slutty purposes I'd otherwise have no interest in, huh? I know, just like every day. But especially today! First I eke out the only thing that matters in The Proposal, then comes Gerry Butler's night-stick rendezvous in Law Abiding Citizen, and now a movie starring Emmy fuckin' Rossum. Shudder. The world might end. See, the name "Emmy Rossum" is a curse-word as far as I'm concerned. I just... I don't acknowledge her.
But now strolls along this thing, this movie called Dare, and goddamn it I might have to see it. Watch the trailer and you'll immediately know why. I took some screen-caps, which helpfully omit all Rossum to be had and illuminate the desirable elements:
Namely, the desirable elements you see are the sexy-times shared between Friday Night Lights star Zach Gilford and "one of the boys that gets his penis bitten off in the wonderful movie Teeth," Ashley Springer. I can't believe I've never given Gilford any love here at MNPP - even though I still haven't seen any of FNL (I know) I have had my eye on him ever since he strolled naked into the snow in Larry Fessenden's The Last Winter.
And, while one of the other guys who got their penis bitten off in the wonderful movie Teeth, Hale Appleman (also someone I can't believe I never gave love to - although the movie did get some Ways Not To Die love back in the day - so here...
... that's better) was more my type, Mr. Springer's looking adorable in this trailer and is certainly a worthy lip-partner for Gilford.
So yes, I guess that I want to watch a movie with... ugh... Emmy Rossum in it. Dammit. You've won this battle, Emmy Rossum! But not the war.
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7 comments:
The nice thing about Emmy Rossum is that she got to make out with Jake in The Day After Tomorrow. Isn't that awesome? Aren't you happy for her?
Anyway, good on you for finally showing Zach Gilford love. Even if he was the reason I paid money to see the awful Post-Grad.
Damn, Gilford's got a great ass.
Yes, yes he does, JD.
Joe, I had forgotten that she was even in that movie, and that might be the only thing I've even seen her in! Still, UGH. She's useless. Useless!
What's up with Emmy hate? You think she is a hacktress? Is it her personality like Megan Fox? What?
I don't understand the venom.
Branden, don't forget that I'm one of the few that like and defend Megan Fox. (So that tells ya something about my taste there, eh?) And my dislike for Emmy is probably based on as little, probably less, than my like for Fox is. I don't have any real reasons I can express for it. Sometimes you just don't like an actor. She makes me think of snotty Kleenex or a bag filled with baby powder when you thought you were getting cocaine. Reasons? I don't need no stinkin' reasons! ;-)
Dare is a beautiful short film, less than 10 minutes I think (without credits and such), that has been on the web for a while. I can't find the good link now, but it's in two parts (don't know why) all over YouTube (see here). I think you'll love it.
I'm surprised they made it into a feature film. It stands well at 10 minutes.
Hale Appleman!! Where he hell has he been?? Tall, lean, and GREAT abs Yum!!
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