Here's a quandary to send us all into existential crises over the weekend: now that David Beckham's fulfilling his destiny of underwear-modeling, who's the hotter soccer-star turned briefs-hanger - Beckham or Freddie Ljunberg?
Friday, December 14, 2007
Friday Video
This song came up on my iPod on my way into work this morning and, as it always does, put me into a super mood, so I figured I'd share the smiles. Seeing as how we were just a wee bit earlier today celebrating Pushing Daisies Golden Globe noms, this clip isn't totally out of left-field, since it stars PD-featured-player Ellen Greene, in the role that cast her in my mind's eye as Indescribably Awesome For All Time. That'd be Audrey in 1986's Little Shop of Horrors and yeah, it's her and co-star Rick Moranis singing "Suddenly Seymour":
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Today's Mood
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A very happy 59th birthday to Dee Wallace, who certainly had a good run twenty-plus years ago, didn't she? E.T., The Howling, Cujo, The Hills Have Eyes, Critters... she was in The Stepford Wives too? I really have to watch that again; it's been a few years.
Dee's still working like mad - she's got seven projects in some state of development for the next year (though who knows if any of them will be something any of us sees). But still, good on her for having stayed a working actress all these years. She played a lot of mothers in her prime, which happened to coincide with my childhood, so I'll always have that sort of movie-mommy vibe towards her. She's most definitely a Genre Icon, that's for sure.
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Dee's still working like mad - she's got seven projects in some state of development for the next year (though who knows if any of them will be something any of us sees). But still, good on her for having stayed a working actress all these years. She played a lot of mothers in her prime, which happened to coincide with my childhood, so I'll always have that sort of movie-mommy vibe towards her. She's most definitely a Genre Icon, that's for sure.
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The Darkness Is Beautiful
These'll surely be everywhere today, but I couldn't resist, because they're really freaking attractive. They're three new posters for The Dark Knight:



I got em from DH - where they've also got the trailer but in shitty YouTube taken-in-the-theater quality - and the last poster is obviously a snapshot taken somewhere in public, and not a high quality image like the other two, but still, attractive. The marketing team on this flick are classy folks.
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I got em from DH - where they've also got the trailer but in shitty YouTube taken-in-the-theater quality - and the last poster is obviously a snapshot taken somewhere in public, and not a high quality image like the other two, but still, attractive. The marketing team on this flick are classy folks.
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Labels:
Christian Bale,
Christopher Nolan,
Heath Ledger
Pushing Globes
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Yesterday, in all my "I'm too cool for school" posturing about how I don't really care too much about the Awards shows this year, I somehow managed to forget that the Globes nominate television programs as well, and therefore never rejoiced at the news that a lil show around these parts we like to call Pushing Daisies received nominations for Best Television Series (Comedy or Musical), AND nominations for Best Actor and Actress in a Television Series (Comedy or Musical) for both of its leads, Lee Pace and Anna Friel! I mean... YAY!
Pushing Daisies is only, what, ten episodes in if even? Yes, a broad-side of early praise hits my Cynic's Alarm System and I worry that the show has nowhere to go but off the quality cliff from here, but all the same, these guys deserve a heap of praise, and perhaps this spells goodness for the show's stability.
Anyway, CONGRATULATIONS to Lee Pace and Anna Friel and everybody involved with the show - especially my pretend boyfriend, show creator Bryan Fuller. You're all invited to my place for champagne and a debauched-yet-whimsical celebration!
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Yesterday, in all my "I'm too cool for school" posturing about how I don't really care too much about the Awards shows this year, I somehow managed to forget that the Globes nominate television programs as well, and therefore never rejoiced at the news that a lil show around these parts we like to call Pushing Daisies received nominations for Best Television Series (Comedy or Musical), AND nominations for Best Actor and Actress in a Television Series (Comedy or Musical) for both of its leads, Lee Pace and Anna Friel! I mean... YAY!
Pushing Daisies is only, what, ten episodes in if even? Yes, a broad-side of early praise hits my Cynic's Alarm System and I worry that the show has nowhere to go but off the quality cliff from here, but all the same, these guys deserve a heap of praise, and perhaps this spells goodness for the show's stability.
Anyway, CONGRATULATIONS to Lee Pace and Anna Friel and everybody involved with the show - especially my pretend boyfriend, show creator Bryan Fuller. You're all invited to my place for champagne and a debauched-yet-whimsical celebration!
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Thursday, December 13, 2007
To Trick Another Day Year?
So here I am, minding my own business, reading through Capone's take on AICN's recent Butt-Numb-A-Thon 24-hour movie festival, and I come upon this paragraph:"TRICK ’R TREAT— Set for release next Halloween, this horror anthology with many interconnected characters and storylines is loads of fun courtesy of writer and first-time director Michael Dougherty (who wrote SUPERMAN RETURNS and X2, and sat through the entire BNAT experience). The Dylan Baker story in which he plays a school principal who engages in some sickening pumpkin carving behavior was my personal favorite, but Brian Cox’s turn as the grumpy old man taunted by a creepy kid in a costume that strikes him as a bit too familiar is also extremely fun. The scariest story involves a groups of kids going to what they claim is a haunted quarry. It’s good to know that next October at least one decent scare film will be making the rounds. Dougherty’s Q&A after the screening was also loads of fun."
Next Halloween? I knew it got moved back, but a full year? I know that Saw shit's domination of Halloween Horror is to blame. Saw ruins everything. I'm just gonna come out and say it: Saw gives you herpes. True story. I mean, I know this from a friend. She told me. Sad story, really. Ahem.
Glad to hear the film's good, though. I want it to be. I also would like, I don't know, to see it before I die. Just a thought. Me talking outta my ass, and all.
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Free Okkervil River
One of my most favorite bands, Okkervil River, has put a free EP online as a holiday gift to us all. You can download it right over here. Sayeth the band (via BV):"Golden Opportunities, an album of covers, is available now for free from this website. We recorded these songs at radio stations, at shows, in peoples' apartments, in hotel stairways. They were done here and there all around the United States and Europe, with the eventual intention of being rounded up in this collection. You can download artwork for the album from this site for making a physical copy of the CD packaging.
We hope everyone has a good holiday season."
Back at ya, guys! Yay free! It's my second favorite word!
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5 Off The Top Of My Head - Why Legend?
Besides the esteemed source material - i.e. the story by Richard Matheson - there's got to be a couple reasons to go and see I Am Legend this weekend, right? Sure, sure, an immense budget stuffed to the gills with state-o-the-art CGI baddies overtaking a desolate Manhattan is the main selling point, but a couple other things come to mind for me.





What? I said a couple. Will Smith... I've got a real love-hate thing with the man. But I'm not blind, nor am I hormone-deprived - um, duh - so his current shirt-doffing practices aren't to be ignored or discouraged. Bravo, Mr. Smith.
And bravo, Cute Doggie. Just for being cute. A cute doggie - though I do fear for it's safety - is a tonic that cures all ailments. Like probably raping a very fine tale with "an immense budget stuffed to the gills with state-o-the-art CGI baddies overtaking a desolate Manhattan." I take what I can get. Obviously. It's all easy like Sunday morning here.
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I Am Link
--- First 0ff, a very happy birthday to the super-talented Wendie Malick, without whom I'd have never slogged through countless hours of the television program Just Shoot Me for whatever hysterical bon-mots Nina Van Horn would spout. Did y'all catch the True Hollywood Story episode all about her character? One of the funniest half hours ever produced for TV, period.--- As long as Penelope Cruz keeps working with Pedro Almodovar, I guess I'll have to keep liking her. THR has the word on their next collaboration:
"Spanish director Pedro Almodovar has decided to switch projects and will next shoot the film noir "Broken Hugs," starring Penelope Cruz.... According to Almodovar, "Broken Hugs" (Los Abrazos Rotos) will feature Cruz, Blanca Portillo and Lluis Homar.
"As for Penelope, I'm going to delve into one of her little-known facets," Almodovar said of the Spanish actress, who was nominated for an Oscar for best actress for her role in his most recent film, "Volver." "This won't be a comedy, but humor will be present."
Almodovar, always reluctant to give details about his films in advance, said he will start preparation on the film in January. The script, which he said is his longest ever, tells of a "crazy love.""
As long as one of her "little-known facets" doesn't include trying to speak English - what is it about her speaking English that makes me want to scratch her eyes out? - then we should be good.
--- Toaster Talk - SciFi Pulse has a long interview with Battlestar Galactica's Ron Moore with some info on the upcoming fourth season... I guess some of it could be considered spoilery if you don't want to know anything at all going in.
--- There's a video interview between Fall It --- Globes Something Something Mumble - Yes, the Golden Globes noms were announced this morning, yet... I'm still completely indifferent to it all. Huh. But if you do want to chat about it, I suggest you head on over to The Film Experience (as if you haven't already), where Awards Hysteria is in fully lovely bloom. My hat's off to Nat, who's rounding up this seemingly daily onslaught of awards news like a trooper. I will say that the only thing that caught my eye, with regards to the GG noms, was Jonny Greenwood's snub for a Best Score nomination for There Will Be Blood... which will presumably anger me more once I finally see the effin' movie.
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Labels:
Battlestar Galactica,
birthdays,
Eli Roth,
Pedro Almodóvar
The Disembodied White Gloves of Armageddon
I know I've seen these sorts of videos before, where a set of white-gloved hands lead you through how to do a simple task or a magic trick or something similarly benign, but I'll be gosh-darned if it don't creep me out every single time. "What are those floating white hands attached to," is all I can think, and then I start imagining pustule-faced beasts with dozens of eyes that vomit arteries and I can't go on. Ahem. Below is a fun little advertisement (say that with the British inflection: ad-vert-iz-ment) for Radiohead's In Rainbows, which gets an actual hard-copy CD release on January 1st.
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Speaking of, since getting my disc-box the other day and listening to the CDs I've got to say to all y'all who downloaded the album (and it does bother me that I've become, in this instance, one of "these people"), that getting an actual CD is the way to go. It sounds sooooo much cleaner and crisper this way. So yes, I'm one of the tech-geeks who bemoan the low bitrate transfers. Kill me now..
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Thursday's Ways Not To Die
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Die Hard 2: Die Harder (1990)
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Previous Ways Not To Die: Face Carved Off By Ghost Doctor After Lesbian Tryst With Zombie Women -- Electrocuted By Fallen Power-Lines -- A Mouthful Of Flare -- Taken By The TV Lady -- Bitten By A Zombie -- Eaten By Your Mattress -- Stuffed To Splitting -- Face Stuck In Liquid Nitrogen -- Crushed By Crumbling Church Debris -- Bitten By The Jaws Of Life -- A Machete To The Crotch -- Showering With A Chain-Saw -- In A Room Filled With Razor Wire -- Pod People'd With Your Dog -- Force-Fed Art -- Skinned By A Witch -- Beaten With An Oar -- Curbed -- Cape Malfunction -- In The Corner -- Cooked In A Tanning Bed -- Diced -- Punched Through The Head -- Bugs Sucking On Your Head
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Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Kate & Eddie

That's a lot of pretty in one small frame. Kate Mara and Eduardo Noriega scorchin' my retinas.
If you'll remember, the flick also stars Emily Mortimer, Woody Harrelson, Ben Kingsley, and the unholy beauty of Thomas Kretschmann. It's playing at Sundance; I assume we'll know if/when it'll get a release date post-that.
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Anatomy of IN a Scene
Because, for whatever reason (cough The Film Experience's new holiday banner cough), I've got Jarhead on the brain today, and also no gratuitous Jake is ever a bad thing, here are some fond reminisces of one of The Finest Scenes Captured On Celluloid. Seriously, it's basically knocked the Odessa Steps sequence from Battleship Potemkin into the dumpster. If I ever taught a film class it would be on whatever the fuck cinematic technique bullshit I could crow on about that Sam Mendes might've used - the allegorical or political ramifications of the Santa Hat could also work - as an excuse to watch this scene over and over again; that much is for certain. Man, I'd be the Bestest Prof Ever.
Labels:
Anatomy IN a Scene,
gratuitous,
jake gyllenhaal,
Sam Mendes
Lucky Mario
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You know, I'm not even that attracted to Orlando Bloom - except when he looked like this - and he looks like crap here, but I still haven't wanted to be someone as much as I want to be photographer Mario Testino there sandwiched between Jake and Orlando since I photo-shopped my face onto that picture of director Fred Zinneman with Marlon Brando and Monty Clift. I almost made with the photo-shopping again, but... lazy.
These are from a party in Testino's honor in 2005 (via IHJM); hence Jakey's Jarhead buzz-cut. Note to anyone organizing a party for me at any point in the future: I won't be satisfied unless I have similar treatment.
I need to go watch Jarhead again. Like now.
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These are from a party in Testino's honor in 2005 (via IHJM); hence Jakey's Jarhead buzz-cut. Note to anyone organizing a party for me at any point in the future: I won't be satisfied unless I have similar treatment.
I need to go watch Jarhead again. Like now.
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Be Kind, Rewind's Poster
Here's the poster for Be Kind, Rewind, and it's typically Gondrian, meaning "containing the aura of a quirky hand-crafted-ness." Did I just make up a word? Yay me!
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Lost For a 4th Time
Here's the trailer for the fourth season of Lost, which begins airing (I think) in February 2008.
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If you're one of them nut-jobs who dissects the show to the single frame (I say this with love in my heart), click over here where they've got a slow-mo version of the trailer as well as a slew of screengrabs..
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Happy Birthday, Jennifer Connolly
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I'm thinking of that moment in Little Children when you figure out that your husband (played by the ever-delicious Patrick Wilson) is schtupping your neighbor (played by the ever-delicious Kate Winslet). It's over dinner with the two of them, as well as her husband, and Kate unthinkingly says something intimate and... cue that look. That look that just rips through the screen and scares the fuck out of me. I think that if any of us have seen the film we can instantly summon up memory of that look.
You're one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood (hell, the world), JC, but man alive it's an intimidating sort of beauty. Same with Paul Bettany, actually... y'all scare me, is what I'm getting at. But a happy birthday all the same to you! Don't show up on my doorstep and give me that look; my heart would stop dead.
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You're one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood (hell, the world), JC, but man alive it's an intimidating sort of beauty. Same with Paul Bettany, actually... y'all scare me, is what I'm getting at. But a happy birthday all the same to you! Don't show up on my doorstep and give me that look; my heart would stop dead.
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Tuesday, December 11, 2007
My Mailman Hates Me
When I awoke this morning, it was from a dream that today was the day that I finally received my Radiohead In Rainbows disc-box. It was a lovely dream, consisting basically of me subtly caressing the box's cover. Heaven.So it's almost quarter after 2pm and the mailman still has not come into my office. I swear I got a glimpse of him like an hour ago out in the hallway. He's trying to drive me to madness. To throw myself out my seventh story window. To slit open my carotid artery with a letter opener.
Why won't he come?!?!?!?
And I fear for the world's safety if he manages to come in here and not have my package. Fire and brimstone will rain, my friends.
Y'all are gonna hear either way, so prepare yourselves. I'd recommend earplugs and Hazmat suits.
ETA Another hour has passed. Still no mailman. I can't eat, I can't reply to emails, I can't think, until he shows up. Crippled! He's turned me into a vegetable. I'm just staring blankly at the door. This is how I'm going to die. Just staring at the door watching for the movement of shadows through the crack underneath it. Insanity. Argh.
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Harry Potter and The Forgetful Blogger
I suppose, after the Harry Potter mania that engulfed the world this past Summer, it's not wholly unreasonable that I've taken a bit of a Potter-related respite and scrubbed my brains of thoughts of House Elves and Gay Wizards and what not, but I still feel sorta shameful that today's release of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix onto DVD has arrived with no fanfare on my part.So here: Fanfare!!! Yay!
I haven't seen it since the one time in the theater, and am curious to see it again, specifically the final scenes which I saw in IMAX 3-D that first go-round; I'm curious to see if it feels as thrilling as it did in that format. Will Dumbledore and Voldemort's throw-down still pack such a wallop? Stay tuned!
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I Am Link
--- I have never heard of The Machine Girl, and my pal Sean casts doubt on whether it's even a real movie, but I'll be damned if it doesn't have one of the most ridiculously fun trailers, faux or no, that I've ever seen. Or, ya know, at least since Eli Roth's Thanksgiving trailer. I mean... here's just a hint of the madness:

Y'all gotta go and check it out. Madness!
--- I'm starting to think that director Alex Proyas has a personal vendetta against me (yes, I'm that much of a narcissist) for some unknown reason. Dark City is one of my favorite movies, so I keep wanting to like another one of his films, but instead he makes the mess that was I, Robot and now has cast instant-interest-destroyer Nicholas Cage in his next flick. Via BD:
"Nicolas Cage is set to star in Knowing, a thriller to be directed by Alex Proyas. Summit Entertainment will fully finance and distribute the pic, which begins production March 17 in Melbourne, according to Variety. Cage will play a teacher who examines the contents of a time capsule unearthed at his son's elementary school. Startling predictions in the time capsule that have already come true lead him to believe the world is going to end at the close of the week and that he and his son are somehow involved in the destruction."
Maybe he still doesn't have enough power in his career to have control of casting; maybe Will Smith and Nicholas Cage are the reasons his movies are even being made. But I take it as a personal affront!
--- I liked this post at Cinematical that rounds up some recent Dark Knight news because it allowed me the visual of Perez Hilton being forced to dig through a cake without actually having to go to his site, which a big no-no. But am I wrong in thinking the whole stunt sounds sorta humiliating for Perez? Perhaps I'm projecting... but one could hope.
--- SciFi Wire spoke to Tim Burton about his next project, an adaptation of Alice In Wonderland; he says:
"It's just such a classic, and the imagery is so surreal... I don't know; I've never seen a version where I feel like they got it all. It's a series of weird adventures, and to try to do it where it works as a movie will be interesting."
Burton will also produce the adaptation, which will use both live action and performance-capture animation.
"The stories are like drugs for children, you know?" Burton said. "It's like, 'Whoa, man.' The imagery, they've never quite nailed making it compelling as a full story. So I think it's an interesting challenge to direct."
He's had to have seen Jan Svankmajer's Alice, right? That's the best adaptation, and uses stop-motion and live-action mixed up, and really ought to be the angle Burton goes towards..
Labels:
Alex Proyas,
Christopher Nolan,
Tim Burton,
trailers
Today's Mood
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I'm about 3/4 of the way through David Lynch's 1980 film The Elephant Man - my first viewing - and there's a very real possibility that this might be turn into my favorite Lynch film by the time I'm finished. I shut it off without finishing last night for a couple of reasons - it was very late, is the lame reason, but even more it was making me cry and I wasn't really prepared for it to hit me so hard, and lastly I wanted to make it last even longer, my enjoyment of the film. Hell, I might watch it again before the week is out. As much as I do appreciate Lynch's as-of-late descent into cinematic madness, I didn't know he had a movie like The Elephant Man in him, and it's got me reevaluating everything else of his that I've seen. Most of all, now I feel the fool for having put off this film for so long.
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Stoned Love
I owe reader FDot a massive debt of gratitude for bringing this news to my attention: The wonderful IFC Center here in NYC, a theater upon which my praises have been heaped in the past, is once again proving its mettle, this time bringing unto our fine city something I've been clamoring for for months.
Gregg Araki's Smiley Face
Starring Anna Faris, John Krasinski and Danny Masterson
New Screwball Stoner Comedy
From the Director of Mysterious Skin
Opens Wednesday, December 26 at IFC Center
SMILEY FACE, Gregg Araki's new slapstick stoner farce, opens Wednesday, December 26 at IFC Center for a two-week engagement.
Yay! I love this city. And I love this theater. And I love Anna Faris and Gregg Araki. And I love all of you; I love you most of all!
Okay, I'm finished.
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Monday, December 10, 2007
Funny, Ruins Shift
Having proven my poison touch anew this weekend with The Golden Compass' box-office belly-flop, I'm hesitant to even bring up movies I'm looking forward to anymore. Maybe I'll just start writing about Tyler Perry movies all the time in hopes I can curtail his success. It's too late, isn't it? Gah.
Anyway, some release dates changes for a pair o' flicks
"The Ruins, the botanical thriller from Dreamworks, has moved up a week from April 11th 2008 to the very crowded April 4th.
Funny Games, the Warner Independent horror-thriller starring Naomi Watts and Tim Roth, has been pushed from February 15th 2008 to March 14th, leaving The Spiderwick Chronicles as the only film coming out on the 15th, as the other wide-releases will come out a day before on the 14th."
Hee - "botanical thriller." But at least The Ruins is moving closer to me.
As for Funny Games... man I'm tired of its bee-bopping around the calendar. It should've been out already. ... Uh... Not that I care! Sigh.
That link also states that Fanboys (the movie in which Kristen Bell dresses up like Princess Leia) and Spring Breakdown (the comedy starring Parker Posey, Amy Poehler and Rachel Dratch!) have been, in the case of the former, "delayed indefinitely," and in the case of the latter, moved "to an undisclosed date." I GIVE UP.
Here are a couple of pics from Spring Breakdown, which are new to my eyes...


Man I wanna see this movie.
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Labels:
horror,
Michael Haneke,
Rachel Dratch,
Scott Smith
Quote of the Day
Oh how I love it when Roger Ebert gets angry. Since his illness, it's seemed as if he's been giving a lot of 4 star reviews, so this was nice to read; prove he's still got the fire in his belly. Here he is reviewing Guy Ritchie's latest mess, Revolver:"Some of the acting is better than the film deserves. Make that all of the acting. Actually, the film stock itself is better than the film deserves. You know when sometimes a film catches fire inside a projector? If it happened with this one, I suspect the audience might cheer.".
Faces of Death
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This week's Horror Roundtable at The Horror Blog gave us the opportunity to toot our own horns, and if there's anything I love in this world, it's having my horn tooted. Check it out!
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Pic of the Day
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Ya know, I really don't want to be attracted to David Beckham... but it's hard-wired into me or something. It's like the great Nature Vs. Nurture debate playing out in the confines of my noggin, only with a stuffed pair of Armani briefs as the battlefield. Confusion!
(via here)
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(via here)
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The Golden Compass in 150 Words or Less
Dust Kidman Fidgety Daemons Balloons Not-Church Bears Craig's-Beard And Snug-Tweed-Pants Lyra Blimp Hot-Witch Flying Jaw Smackdown Hug The Monkey Happy-Ending?(What? If they can boil the book down to less than two hours and make what made sense there semi-nonsensical, then I can boil my review down to 26 words. I am seeing it again this week and will properly write it up then.)
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Sunday, December 09, 2007
Get Me To Oxford Now
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I know y'all know what a spazz I am, I just thought it'd be fun to share that, after reading this new interview with Radiohead in The New York Times, in which Thom Yorke talks about a pub in Oxford where he does a lot of his writing, I just spent a bunch of time googling said pub and mapping it and looking of pictures of it and daydreaming about going there and sitting at his table and, like, just killing myself on the spot. Here's what Thom said:
I will sit at that table before I die, I swear I will.
On a sidenote, I still haven't received my effin' disc-box and... if I don't get it this week... I fear for my mailman's safety.
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I know y'all know what a spazz I am, I just thought it'd be fun to share that, after reading this new interview with Radiohead in The New York Times, in which Thom Yorke talks about a pub in Oxford where he does a lot of his writing, I just spent a bunch of time googling said pub and mapping it and looking of pictures of it and daydreaming about going there and sitting at his table and, like, just killing myself on the spot. Here's what Thom said:
Mr. Yorke worked on many of the songs in the Rose and Crown. “I sit there, on the way in, because it’s a really nice little table,” he said, pointing. “And then I get out my scraps of paper and I line them up. I need to put them into my book because they’re just scraps of paper, and I’m going to lose them unless I do it. So am I writing here? Probably. I don’t know yet. I’m just collating information. This is a nice, relaxing thing to do, and it also keeps your mind tuned in to the whole thing. And you see things you didn’t know.”
I will sit at that table before I die, I swear I will.
On a sidenote, I still haven't received my effin' disc-box and... if I don't get it this week... I fear for my mailman's safety.
.Saturday, December 08, 2007
What The Monkey?
Friday, December 07, 2007
Totally Superficial Jake Gyllenhaal Post #1013
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Damn Jake looked good in Rendition. I wish I could see it again right now. Now! Make it happen! I'm gonna throw a tantrum. Split Pea all over the linoleum!
What I don't get is, how have we come this far from its release and stills of his clad-only-in-boxers scene have not made their way online? I'd seen video of his Santa Hat Dance in Jarhead well before the movie had even come out. WTF?!?!? I feel cheated. My life's incomplete until I can post those screencaps. I'm living in some sort of illusion. A miasma of fakery. The Snapple I drink is really sand, isn't it? Gah!
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What I don't get is, how have we come this far from its release and stills of his clad-only-in-boxers scene have not made their way online? I'd seen video of his Santa Hat Dance in Jarhead well before the movie had even come out. WTF?!?!? I feel cheated. My life's incomplete until I can post those screencaps. I'm living in some sort of illusion. A miasma of fakery. The Snapple I drink is really sand, isn't it? Gah!
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How To Disappear Live
I know you might find this difficult to believe, but sometimes I blog for myself. Just for me! Like, I know - blogging as some sort of hall-of-mirrors self-circle-jerk ouroboros bullshit? Crazy talk! But seriously. So when I post the below video I just want y'all to understand that I am posting it because, as I've explained before, I can't listen to things/stuff/gunk/junk/etc. on my work-computer, this being an office with other people around and their ears always alert and ready to pounce like snow leopards, so when I find something I want to remember to listen to later, once I'm home and safely nestled in my jammies with an obscenely large mug of hot cocoa and the boyfriend rubbing my toes, well sometimes I'll just email myself the link, or sometimes I might post it, even though I doubt anyone reading this has any desire to watch/listen to it. But I do. And I matter.
This is Radiohead performing "How To Disappear Completely" - their greatest song, says I - live some unknown-to-me time ago, via Stereogum (where there's also a snippet o' interview with Jonny Greenwood about his influences re: the soundtrack for Paul Thomas Anderson's There Will Be Blood):
This is Radiohead performing "How To Disappear Completely" - their greatest song, says I - live some unknown-to-me time ago, via Stereogum (where there's also a snippet o' interview with Jonny Greenwood about his influences re: the soundtrack for Paul Thomas Anderson's There Will Be Blood):
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I'll Tell Ya What Isn't Happening
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Lies! That's what!
BD has got the teaser-poster for M. Night Shyamaylan's next flick, The Happening, and it troubles me that they're not being totally forthcoming with it. Here's the original (click to embiggen so you can read the type):

I know the type is small; the tagline goes "We've Sensed It. We've Seen The Signs. Now... It's Happening." Um, I think you're forgetting a couple of somethings there, Marketing People!
So I went ahead an doctored the poster so it doesn't forget a smidge o' Shyamalan. Again, click it to embiggen:

You're welcome.
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Lies! That's what!
BD has got the teaser-poster for M. Night Shyamaylan's next flick, The Happening, and it troubles me that they're not being totally forthcoming with it. Here's the original (click to embiggen so you can read the type):

I know the type is small; the tagline goes "We've Sensed It. We've Seen The Signs. Now... It's Happening." Um, I think you're forgetting a couple of somethings there, Marketing People!
So I went ahead an doctored the poster so it doesn't forget a smidge o' Shyamalan. Again, click it to embiggen:

You're welcome.
.
Gratuitous James McAvoy
.


I'm not totally sold on this James McAvoy fella. I'm just sayin! He has to prove himself a little more. The Last King of Scotland - though it wasn't his fault; he was fine - was a snooze to sit through, so all I still see is Mr. Tumnus and those hooves and sure, I remember thinking "Am I supposed to want to jump on Mr. Tumnus like this?" but one stretch of dirty-thoughts towards a half-woodland- creature-human-hybrid does not a career make! I seem to be terribly alone in my utter lack of interest in this Atonement movie coming out today, too. Jimmy looks good in the trailer, it's true, and that shot of Keira in that emerald-green dress as the car pulls away from her makes me want to lick the cinematographer's face, oh and also I did like Pride & Prejudice more than I expected to... I just... I don't know, I have other things on my mind this weekend. Furry things (again with the weird animal lust!). But, in the spirit of fairness, to all y'all who care, here's some gratuitous Jimmy to behold. I have to admit that I did kind of find myself being sucked into the giant dreamy blue orbs of his eyes the longer I looked at photographs of him. It's probably why a good portion of these pictures are centered on his eyes. Who needs gratuitous shirtlessness when you've got those eyes, right?
Happy Birthday, Ellen Burstyn
.
.
.Speaking of people who'd have Oscars in a perfect world,
Ellen Burstyn turns 75 (!) today,
and instead of just one she should have,
at the very least, three.
Love you, Ellen!
You're still, in my opinion, responsible for
the greatest performance of the '00's.
.
Ellen Burstyn turns 75 (!) today,
and instead of just one she should have,
at the very least, three.
Love you, Ellen!
You're still, in my opinion, responsible for
the greatest performance of the '00's.
.
For Your Consideration: Michael Cera in Juno
With the awards season now upon us, I'm finding myself... indifferent. Let just get this outta the way: 2005 was a fluke. Brokeback Mountain made me much more involved in the Awards hype than I usually am. I pay attention to it, I do, and I watch the shows every year, but the things I like hardly ever dovetail with what those goobers drool over, and it just leads to too much anguish, getting myself too involved. See: 2005. Or don't, if it still makes you queasy like it does me.
Anyway, I think I might do a bunch of these types of posts. "These types of posts" being ones in which I highlight performances or direction or art design or costumes of Best Boy Grips or whatever I feel like from the previous 12 months that I think deserve recognition but (and here's what makes these posts special!) don't seem to have a holy shot in hell at getting much, if any, of it. Because I defy the establishment, see? I'm like the Sid Vicious of bloggers. Seriously. You have no idea. Who are you to judge me?
Ahem. So I saw "Critical Darling, Fall 2007 Edition" Juno last evening and my reaction seems to have followed the base critical consensus - that it's a wobbly little thing for the first 30 minutes or so, but once it hits it's stride it's a lovely little thing all the same. I did have two caveats about the movie: First off, the overly precious soundtrack was overdone to the point of annoyance. Way too much cutesy balladeering overlaying everything. It worked wonderfully in the final scene, though.And secondly, and perhaps a little more controversially... listen: I really, really like Ellen Page. She's a fire-cracker, that one, and immensely talented to boot. I hope she gets her expected Best Actress nod, because I'd rather her name fill in the blank instead of a handful of people I like considerably less that could take it from her. But here she was handed a good chunk of clever in the place of character - I'm looking at you, Miss Sells-Herself-Well Diablo Cody - and, as hard as Ellen Page sold it, and the magic she worked with it, there was still something missing. For me. The boyfriend and I were discussing it and we came to this conclusion: Page had the character that was over-written, and the people who came off the best in the movie from my standpoint were the one's that were dealing with under-written characters. Where Cody's paw-prints weren't all over their every hamburger-phoned sigh. We're talking Jason Bateman, Jennifer Garner (and let me just tell y'all - I rediscovered my love for Jennifer Garner again last night. She was WONDERFUL.) and... sigh... Michael Cera.
I was not an Arrested Development watcher (Stop yelling at me!), but after the one-two punch of watching Superbad on Wednesday and Juno last night, I'm of the mind at this moment that he's aces. There wasn't a moment when he was on-screen in Juno that felt anything less than totally genuine. When he and Page were together the movie just clicked - their scenes were absolutely perfect. It was like the movie took a moment to breathe in Cera's presence - his awkward half-, no, quarter-grins, his fumbled sweetness - yeah, if you can't tell, I just about think he's the greatest thing since sliced bread now.All the praise for the movie's gonna go to Ellen Page - and like I said, I like her a lot, so it's okay - but for my money the real magic-worker in Juno, the one who gets this spastic thing working in the end - is Michael Cera. I'd like to live in a world where he got a Supporting Actor nod. That'd be wizard.
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Thursday, December 06, 2007
Re Re Re Radiohead
Even though I haven't mentioned Radiohead since Monday, it doesn't mean they haven't been on my mind. Hells bells, I've been hanging out over at the atease boards about 75% of my time. I still haven't gotten my disc-box, but fingers crossed it'll come soon.In the meantime I added all of the tracks from In Rainbows - from both discs! - to my Box Media Player over in the right-hand column there, so you can listen to it all if you feel so inclined whilst reading my sweet nothings. What a lark! I highly recommend "Jigsaw Falling Into Place" and "All I Need" and "Up On The Ladder" and... hell, all of 'em.
Also, Radiohead has news from their blog for those of you who
"The End of The Beginning
Hello Everyone,
The download area that is “In Rainbows” will be shutting its doors on the 10th December 2007.
A big thank you to everyone who came and downloaded the music. It’s been the most positive thing we’ve done and we hope you shared the experience with others.
The discbox will still be available from the w.a.s.t.e store here until they have all gone. We then have no plans to make further stock.
For those of you who wish to buy In Rainbows in the usual way, it will be available on CD/Vinyl and download from traditional outlets from the 31st December 2007.
The record will be released by TBD Records in North America and XL Recordings for the rest of the world.
Thanks for everything."
Oh you're welcome, Thom & Co. Now just make it easy for me to get tickets to your goddamned tour this time around, okay? I'm gonna have a massive breakdown if I miss you again.
And finally, and perhaps of the most interest to the bulk of MNPP-readers: Jonny Greenwood's soundtrack for Paul Thomas Anderson's There Will Be Blood? It leaked online today. Where might you find it, you ask? Hmm....One of my oldest and dearest friends actually saw There Will Be Blood yesterday and, echoing the sentiments we've heard so far, said it's a modern masterpiece. Godammit why must I wait three more weeks???
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Today's Mood
.

Becca (Martha MacIsaac),
Superbad

Becca (Martha MacIsaac),
Superbad
"I am gonna give you the best blow J.
With my mouth."
So I finally saw Superbad last evening and I really loved it. Both Michael Cera and Jonah Hill were as terrific as I'd heard - and tonight when I see Juno there's a good shot I'll catch up with the rest of the world with the full-on Cera adoration - but what surprised me was, I don't remember hearing anything about Miss MacIsaac as Cera's love-interest Becca, and her drunken bedroom scene was the funniest damn part of the movie. So I'm giving her some love. All hail Becca! We've all been there.
.A Funny Games "Clip"
.

If you click on over to Warner Independent's website for Michael Haneke's Funny Games remake you can view a new, age-restricted trailer for the film. They're calling it a "clip" but they're lying liars! - it's a few select moments played out a little longer than usual but strung together with some fades to black... which is a trailer. Anyway, here are a couple new grabs:







And no, if you've seen the film you know that second-to-last pic is not a spoiler... but you'll have to have seen the film to understand why. And perhaps being reminded of it infuriates you. (Hi Glenn!) Not I! Anyway, what I also am noticing is that a few of these moments - specifically I speak of Naomi Watts opening up the back of the SUV - are indeed framed differently than they were in the original, so shot-for-shot only means so much, it seems. But only a spazz like I who've seen the original film a dozen times would notice these things.
The film's out here on February 15th.
.

If you click on over to Warner Independent's website for Michael Haneke's Funny Games remake you can view a new, age-restricted trailer for the film. They're calling it a "clip" but they're lying liars! - it's a few select moments played out a little longer than usual but strung together with some fades to black... which is a trailer. Anyway, here are a couple new grabs:







And no, if you've seen the film you know that second-to-last pic is not a spoiler... but you'll have to have seen the film to understand why. And perhaps being reminded of it infuriates you. (Hi Glenn!) Not I! Anyway, what I also am noticing is that a few of these moments - specifically I speak of Naomi Watts opening up the back of the SUV - are indeed framed differently than they were in the original, so shot-for-shot only means so much, it seems. But only a spazz like I who've seen the original film a dozen times would notice these things.
The film's out here on February 15th.
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One Dead-Eyed Beastie, To Go
BD has got the first, I guess, official-like still of one of the bad guys from I Am Legend, seen here:

What sweet nothings is it whispering into Will Smith's ear, ya think?
I thought they looked better in the preview - not perfect, but better - where they were, ya know, moving and semi-hidden in shadow, but we shall see. Oh yes, we shall see! It does appear that they went straight for a design based off the best-known artwork from the book's cover, though.
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Thursday's Ways Not To Die
The below post is NSFW. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Consider this week's Way Not To Die a Public Service Announcement. I am trying to do everyone a favor here by telling you that, under no circumstances, should you ever watch
Return To House On Haunted Hill. I know what you're thinking. Watch what? Huh? Sprechen sie Englisch bitte? Yes, there's a sequel to 1999's House on Haunted Hill, and shockingly - as if its damning lack of a much-needed "The" within its title wasn't clue enough - it's TERRIBLE. Not in an entertaining way; just in a terrible way. However, as happens with so many horror films, there is one moment, one tiny ray of sunshine, held within. It is this kernel that I always imagine gets these otherwise-awful movies made in the first place; that balls-to-the-wall crazy-shit moment that explodes off the page and sells the story to the suits, the director, whomever, and gets the movie slapped onto celluloid like so much cinematic baloney.Held within this post is RTHOHH's moment. And please, even though what you see below might seem cool - and this moment is hysterically, ridiculously cool, in the most hysterical, ridiculous sort of way - know this: there is a full hour and a half around this scene of unbearable dreck. I know, we've all suffered at the hands of dreck before - for the sight of a booby or Jake Gyllenhaal's ass we will all suffer mightily. I'm just trying to do the right thing! Avoid this movie! All you need can be seen below.
First, a little set-up, since I'm assuming most of y'all ain't seen this movie already: So blah blah blah, a group of people Return To House On Haunted Hill. Blah blah blah, one's a Hot Tough Chick who likes girls (She likes girls! That's very important!) Blah blah blah, she's separated from the group. And then she hears a noise...






Steamy, eh? Now stop clicking over to your damn Netflix queue, straight men, bisexuals, and lesbians who are reading this! I just gave you the juiciest frames you could ever need. Seriously! Stop! Save yourselves!
I do love that tough chick just throws aside her gun and starts macking when the boobies come out though. "What? I'm in a House that rests upon a Haunted Hill? But... but, boobies! Humina humina!" Good grief. Anyway, cue the flashback-flashes in which we gets these zombie-fatales back-story, and it's straight out of V For Vendetta - they were in love, they were persecuted - only with 200% more naked making out and 500% more electro-shock therapy.


And from there the film





Yes. The horror! And, shockingly, not so sexy anymore.
Unfortunately for our absent-minded Hot Tough Chick, she's run away from her dead-lipstick-lesbian tormentors right into the arms of the Chief Madman of the House (really a hospital, but whatever; no, seriously, WHATEVER) on the Hill that is Haunted, Dr. Makes-With-The-Face-Carving-Off-A-Lot. He does some sort of crazed slashy scalpel baton-tossing and double-lutz into a front handspring routine here:




And then, oh glorious rapture... I rewound this next part like 20 times....






That right there is why this movie was made. The whole girl-on-dead girl-on-dead girl schtick that preceded it was just bonus. It's all about the DFS (Drooping Face Syndrome)! This scene was made from love! Love and rainbows and rainbow sprinkles smothered in chocolate sauce.
I didn't really get why this killed Hot Tough Chick - I mean, he just carved her face off; a couple of band-aids would fix that right up - but the boyfriend says she probably dropped dead from fright, which I guess it what this next shot is supposed to be:
Humina humina indeed! Not that it matters. Not that any of it matters! You've seen all you need to see here, my friends. Now forget this movie even exists. Rent the original remake (that phrase - original remake - is designed to make my brain explode). It was way better than this dreck. For one, it had Famke "Kicks Ass, Takes Names" Janssen slurring her way into High Camp Heaven. And that, my loves, beats a bloated Eric Palladino any day.--------------
Previous Ways Not To Die: Electrocuted By Fallen Power-Lines -- A Mouthful Of Flare -- Taken By The TV Lady -- Bitten By A Zombie -- Eaten By Your Mattress -- Stuffed To Splitting -- Face Stuck In Liquid Nitrogen -- Crushed By Crumbling Church Debris -- Bitten By The Jaws Of Life -- A Machete To The Crotch -- Showering With A Chain-Saw -- In A Room Filled With Razor Wire -- Pod People'd With Your Dog -- Force-Fed Art -- Skinned By A Witch -- Beaten With An Oar -- Curbed -- Cape Malfunction -- In The Corner -- Cooked In A Tanning Bed -- Diced -- Punched Through The Head -- Bugs Sucking On Your Head.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
I See The Ruins (And The Ruins See Me)
Finally! I've been waiting for these. BD has got the first trio of stills from The Ruins, Carter Smith's adaptation of Scott Smith's entertainingly terrifying book, which I've dutifully swiped and posted... right here:



What weird is these stills look EXACTLY like the images I'd had in my head while reading the book. I mean, maybe it's not that weird, since all we're seeing is a patch of dirt and a stone-wall and... something green... but really that's a huge chunk of the location for the story and these pics, and these actors, look PERFECT.
The Ruins stars Jena Malone, Jonathan Tucker, Shawn Ashmore and Laura Ramsey as four friends backpacking in Mexico who end up someplace they don't want to be... perhaps there are ruins there? Perhaps something evil within the ruins? Who's to say? Not me! Except, ya know, every time I've posted on the movie and book in the past. Ahem.
Anyway, the flick comes out on April 11th. Maybe there'll be a trailer soon...?
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Anyway, the flick comes out on April 11th. Maybe there'll be a trailer soon...?
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The Shame-filled Return of AC Slater
I feel shame - deep, deepest of shames! - for falling prey to Mario Lopez's recent paparazzi-sponsored vacation pictures, but I'm finding myself reminded of his AC Slater hey-days and how I crushed on him way back then and... well, just look!
Pic of the Day
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The erratic blood squirting into the air... Michael Caine's horrified, plasma-spattered grimace... this still is from Final Girl's post on this month's Film Club pick, Oliver Stone's 1981 flick The Hand, and it's a thing of beauty.
As is Stacie's write-up, of course, so head over to Final Girl like good little boys and girls and read up. There's saloon brawls, hobo-stumps, and much more hilarity to be had! Plus linkage to other site's takes on the movie. Oh how I laughed and I laughed.
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As is Stacie's write-up, of course, so head over to Final Girl like good little boys and girls and read up. There's saloon brawls, hobo-stumps, and much more hilarity to be had! Plus linkage to other site's takes on the movie. Oh how I laughed and I laughed.
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"NOW a warning?"
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I don't know exactly why I titled this post after that hysterical bit of dialogue from Death Becomes Her, but it does seem fitting, just throwing something I love randomly at the wall and seeing how it sticks, since I'm going to be talking about Richard Kelly's Southland Tales here.
Ah yes. Southland Tales. I'm assuming y'all remember my initial reaction to it a couple of weeks ago, in which I briefly expressed... dismay, one might say. I gave it a D and... well, I really didn't know what to think. It hurt me. It pained me deep on the inside, like swallowing one of those fabled razor-blade apples. Just like that! I used the word "hate" for goodness sake!
So... then I went and saw it again this past weekend. I knew what to expect this time. I girded my loins in expectation of its spastic messiness, its cinematic limbs akimbo, flailing every which way. And then... what's this... oh my Christ I enjoyed it.
I didn't write much about my first reaction because I wanted to give it another chance (echoes of my silence on No Country For Old Men there, huh? I'm getting to it!), but here's where I stood with my first Southland go-round: very funny in parts. For one, Sarah Michelle Gellar, as I have previously expressed, is awesome - every time Krysta Now is on-screen the whole movie just lights up. Richard Kelly was obviously working from experience here; he knows this woman, and SMG knows this woman, and her every moment is a giddy delight. The rest of the cast was hit-or-miss; how I could leave a movie that features Beth Grant and not have a single "Beth Grant giggle-fest" strike me in retrospect is... it's blasphemy! And I felt she was wasted. Bai Ling flitted around amusingly; she's a special effect unto herself. None of anything made any sense, and one scene just seemed to sidle up beside the next in the sloppiest of manners. I did admire the movie for just... going for it, ya know? In this age of movies being filtered through a thousand different test-groups and having anything interesting and unique whittled down to nothing, here was a movie that was just a big ol' disaster, going everywhere, in every direction... so I admired that, but the experience of sitting through it the first time through was... painful. What was funny fell between the cracks of its insanity.
And so I went a second time, being a glutton for punishment apparently. No, it's just... Richard Kelly made Donnie Darko! He was owed a second chance. And strangely, the clouds parted, and things kinda began to fall into place. I'm not prepared to rave about the film; I still think Kelly held the puree button down a little long, and the film's sloppiness (man I'm overusing that word; it's just... so right here) can be a slog to make it through still. But the funny stepped forward on a second viewing and smacked me about the face and instead of working so hard at figuring out what the eff was happening I could let it go and just appreciate more of the pleasures the film does offer and there are bunches to be had. SMG's performance grew on me even more, for one; it's sad that her film career seems kind of stagnant these days, but when one's specialty turns out to be so quirky it's inevitable I guess. She needs to work with the Joss Whedons and Richard Kellys of the world more often, because she's so wonderfully game for being bonkers.
Mandy Moore says the phrase "Cockchuggers 2: Cockchuggin'," which deserves a paragraph of its own.
What of our Do Dump Marry trio? Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and Justin Timberlake still didn't 100% work for me, but I found Seann William Scott much more affecting with a second viewing; especially once one "gets" (as in what the film's really about, under the 17 layers of storytelling artifice) his character. (Sidenote: Scott's buzzed-head/beard combo has officially branded him highly fuckable on the fuckable scale.) I know Johnson was supposed to be unhinged but his twiddling-finger schtick seemed, well, schticky. I kept feeling like he was looking at me in the audience and admitting he had no idea what was going on either, unlike say how SMG just jumped right in and went with it. (He looked great, though.) Justin Timberlake... gah he just never fails to get on my nerves. His voice-over was slightly less annoying and his musical sequence felt a little less jarring this time, though, and... well, I don't really want to explain the movie here - if you have seen it and would like to discuss what it's about, head on to the comments! - but let's just say that as things began to fall into place - and I do think that, as this second viewing finished, I've actually really got a total handle on what the eff was going on, for real, like I get it! I win prizes, right? - so as things fell into place, Timberlake and Scott's characters made a world of more sense, in the context in which they fit, which once you "get" the movie will make sense. If that makes sense.
See? See what this movie does to one's brain? But once you do get what's going on, once the pieces fall into place, even the most annoying of the movie's many schticks - that being its overblown-to-the-point-of-grating cutesy character names - Jericho Kane, Dr. Soberin Exx, Dr. Inga Von Westphalen - well, that makes sense too. Damn you, Richard Kelly! You've officially made me lose my mind, I think.
I'm not to the point of hailing the film as a work of genius or anything. I still think it's a mess. But it's a mess that kinda sorta makes sense now, and one that's terrifically funny, and somewhere head-deep in all of its sloppiness I find myself, yes, appreciating its sloppiness on some level. That somehow Richard Kelly got somebody to green-light this "Richard-Kelly's-Brain masturbating on the screen" session. That he got a slew of game actors onboard. In this day and age, to see something so completely bat-shit, well, it's a privilege.
Check out what my pal Joe R. says about the movie at Low Resolution. He's even more nuts than me! As for my grade, at this time, Southland Tales has moved from a D to a B. B stands for Bonkers! Belligerently Boisterous! And Chef Boyardee.
.
Ah yes. Southland Tales. I'm assuming y'all remember my initial reaction to it a couple of weeks ago, in which I briefly expressed... dismay, one might say. I gave it a D and... well, I really didn't know what to think. It hurt me. It pained me deep on the inside, like swallowing one of those fabled razor-blade apples. Just like that! I used the word "hate" for goodness sake!
So... then I went and saw it again this past weekend. I knew what to expect this time. I girded my loins in expectation of its spastic messiness, its cinematic limbs akimbo, flailing every which way. And then... what's this... oh my Christ I enjoyed it.
I didn't write much about my first reaction because I wanted to give it another chance (echoes of my silence on No Country For Old Men there, huh? I'm getting to it!), but here's where I stood with my first Southland go-round: very funny in parts. For one, Sarah Michelle Gellar, as I have previously expressed, is awesome - every time Krysta Now is on-screen the whole movie just lights up. Richard Kelly was obviously working from experience here; he knows this woman, and SMG knows this woman, and her every moment is a giddy delight. The rest of the cast was hit-or-miss; how I could leave a movie that features Beth Grant and not have a single "Beth Grant giggle-fest" strike me in retrospect is... it's blasphemy! And I felt she was wasted. Bai Ling flitted around amusingly; she's a special effect unto herself. None of anything made any sense, and one scene just seemed to sidle up beside the next in the sloppiest of manners. I did admire the movie for just... going for it, ya know? In this age of movies being filtered through a thousand different test-groups and having anything interesting and unique whittled down to nothing, here was a movie that was just a big ol' disaster, going everywhere, in every direction... so I admired that, but the experience of sitting through it the first time through was... painful. What was funny fell between the cracks of its insanity.And so I went a second time, being a glutton for punishment apparently. No, it's just... Richard Kelly made Donnie Darko! He was owed a second chance. And strangely, the clouds parted, and things kinda began to fall into place. I'm not prepared to rave about the film; I still think Kelly held the puree button down a little long, and the film's sloppiness (man I'm overusing that word; it's just... so right here) can be a slog to make it through still. But the funny stepped forward on a second viewing and smacked me about the face and instead of working so hard at figuring out what the eff was happening I could let it go and just appreciate more of the pleasures the film does offer and there are bunches to be had. SMG's performance grew on me even more, for one; it's sad that her film career seems kind of stagnant these days, but when one's specialty turns out to be so quirky it's inevitable I guess. She needs to work with the Joss Whedons and Richard Kellys of the world more often, because she's so wonderfully game for being bonkers.
Mandy Moore says the phrase "Cockchuggers 2: Cockchuggin'," which deserves a paragraph of its own.
What of our Do Dump Marry trio? Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and Justin Timberlake still didn't 100% work for me, but I found Seann William Scott much more affecting with a second viewing; especially once one "gets" (as in what the film's really about, under the 17 layers of storytelling artifice) his character. (Sidenote: Scott's buzzed-head/beard combo has officially branded him highly fuckable on the fuckable scale.) I know Johnson was supposed to be unhinged but his twiddling-finger schtick seemed, well, schticky. I kept feeling like he was looking at me in the audience and admitting he had no idea what was going on either, unlike say how SMG just jumped right in and went with it. (He looked great, though.) Justin Timberlake... gah he just never fails to get on my nerves. His voice-over was slightly less annoying and his musical sequence felt a little less jarring this time, though, and... well, I don't really want to explain the movie here - if you have seen it and would like to discuss what it's about, head on to the comments! - but let's just say that as things began to fall into place - and I do think that, as this second viewing finished, I've actually really got a total handle on what the eff was going on, for real, like I get it! I win prizes, right? - so as things fell into place, Timberlake and Scott's characters made a world of more sense, in the context in which they fit, which once you "get" the movie will make sense. If that makes sense.See? See what this movie does to one's brain? But once you do get what's going on, once the pieces fall into place, even the most annoying of the movie's many schticks - that being its overblown-to-the-point-of-grating cutesy character names - Jericho Kane, Dr. Soberin Exx, Dr. Inga Von Westphalen - well, that makes sense too. Damn you, Richard Kelly! You've officially made me lose my mind, I think.
I'm not to the point of hailing the film as a work of genius or anything. I still think it's a mess. But it's a mess that kinda sorta makes sense now, and one that's terrifically funny, and somewhere head-deep in all of its sloppiness I find myself, yes, appreciating its sloppiness on some level. That somehow Richard Kelly got somebody to green-light this "Richard-Kelly's-Brain masturbating on the screen" session. That he got a slew of game actors onboard. In this day and age, to see something so completely bat-shit, well, it's a privilege.
Check out what my pal Joe R. says about the movie at Low Resolution. He's even more nuts than me! As for my grade, at this time, Southland Tales has moved from a D to a B. B stands for Bonkers! Belligerently Boisterous! And Chef Boyardee.
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I Am (A Slacker) Link
Yeah, so my brain kinda went on the fritz yesterday. Anyway. Here's some stuff.
--- Faith No More - The final issue of Brian K. Vaughn's arc in the Buffy: Season 8 comics, dealing with Faith the Vampire Slayer, hits the stores today. Will our girl prove (once again) her worth? Always with the muddied moral compass, Faith! These past couple of issues have been prime stuff, though; I hope all y'all who profess to be Buffy fans have been partaking too.--- "Why So Serious?" - Why does that tag-line hit my happy button? I think it's that slithering alliteration of "S" sounds... anyway, it's given prominent placement on the new teaser poster for The Dark Knight, seen over at AICN. What do we think? I think I like.
--- Hitchcock By Scorsese Way - I spaced on watching this video yesterday so it'll have to wait until this evening for me, but y'all, if you haven't yet, can see this Martin Scorsese doing Hitchcock movie that's making the rounds right on here. It seems to have inspired mucho geek salivation.
--- Shadow Players - ModFab's got the latest Battlestar Galactica preview, which shows nothing but some talking heads and still gives me a hard-on all the same.
--- Milk Got - Three actors are circling roles in Gus Van Sant's Harvey Milk biopic - Josh Brolin as Milk's rival and killer; Emile Hirsch as a young gay activist; and James Franco (seen at left; I seem to be coming around on Franco suddenly) as Milk's boyfriend. Sean Penn's playing Milk. It's been shameful the way I've dodged most of Van Sant's recent work; the last one I saw was Elephant and I scarcely remember it. But this cast, and this subject, is drawing me in, I do believe.--- Chenbot's Roasting On An Open Fire - Urgh. Big Brother is going to be back on the telly in January because of this blasted strike. Will I be sucked in anew? Or did the abortion of last season finally stake my BB-lovin' heart to dust? Stay tuned!
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Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Quote of the Day

Note to aspiring male movie stars: if you want your words bouncing around the endless echo chamber of cyberspace, take your cue from Daniel Craig, who's always taking about showing us his ass, and we love him for it. Via here, James Bond talks about what he wants to whip out instead of a 9mm in the next Bond film:
That link seems questionable - no definable source - and I feel like I've read it before (Hell, I've probably posted it before), but obviously Danny Boy's got nothing to hide, since the internets are already clogged with photographs of what's underneath that tuxedo of his, so even if he didn't actually say this ever he may as well have. (Don't you love the logic of the new media age?)
Anyway, he was already basically nude in Casino Royale, we just didn't glimpse his full twig'n'berries. Doesn't that sound like a breakfast cereal? Twig'N'Berries: Part of your balanced breakfast!
Man I'm out of it today.
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"I'd go totally nude. I've got nothing to hide, and after all, we ask the girls to reveal almost all, so why not the men?"
That link seems questionable - no definable source - and I feel like I've read it before (Hell, I've probably posted it before), but obviously Danny Boy's got nothing to hide, since the internets are already clogged with photographs of what's underneath that tuxedo of his, so even if he didn't actually say this ever he may as well have. (Don't you love the logic of the new media age?)
Anyway, he was already basically nude in Casino Royale, we just didn't glimpse his full twig'n'berries. Doesn't that sound like a breakfast cereal? Twig'N'Berries: Part of your balanced breakfast!
Man I'm out of it today.
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Today's... No! This Year's Moods
So I spent the entire morning waiting for a repairman at my apartment, and now I've gotten a late start to the day and my brain feels... mangled. Like I don't know how to jump into the day. Everything's outta whack! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes... The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria! Oh, speaking of, here's Today's Mood:

So I was planning on commemorating today's Today's Mood as the 365th one of these suckers that I've done - that's, like, a full year! - but then I was going through my archives looking at them all and realized that somehow I'd missed labeling several way back at the start, and we've actually already crossed that threshold. Boo! Boo on me! But, even if this isn't really #365, we can pretend and celebrate my unparalleled achievement all the same, right? Right?
Since I skip weekends and holidays, it's taken me longer than a year in real-time to achieve 365 of these; it's actually been closer to 20 months since the first. In that time I've been scads of serial killers and psychopaths, I've been a flying monkey, I've been a rabid dog, a felt frog, a child molester, and many, many other cinematic folk. But whom, pray tell, was the first? Way back on April 18th of 2006?

Of course it was. That's Preacher Kane from Poltergeist II, in case you're unfamiliar. Man what a creep. I mean him... but yeah, it surely applies to me as well!
And as long as

I looooooove that; it makes my toes curl. It's just... perfect! I say so! Ahem. I also love the fun lay-out for Friday, April 13th, 2007.
So yeah. 365! (... or so...) Whee! What does this mean? Well it means I'm awesome, of course, but what else? It means I'm taking a break from these. I think we can expect the daily dose of Today's Mood more often than not, but there are days here and there where I find it really, really difficult to think of one and if/when that happens, from here on out, I'm not going to twist my arm into doing it. Quality trumps quantity at last! Hurrah! The war has been won!
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Monday, December 03, 2007
Gimme Some Gratuitous James Kyson Lee!
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Has anybody else found themselves developing a crush on James Kyson Lee? He currently can be seen as Hiro's best friend Ando on Heroes. And he's freaking adorable.






I'm quite disappointed that they haven't found a way to get him undressed and hosed down yet. I may write a letter! A very sternly worded letter!
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Pic of the Day
Here's the first still from Choke, the spoken-of-earlier-today adaptation of Chuck Palahniuk's book, via Twitch.
Today's Mood
Hey you! It's Julianne Moore's birthday!
Labels:
birthdays,
Julianne Moore,
Paul Thomas Anderson,
todays mood
Survivor
Francis Lawrence, the man who directed Constantine and the upcoming I Am Legend, appears to have his sights set on adapting Chuck Palahniuk's book Survivor next. From an interview with Collider (via Cinematical):
"... there’s a couple of things I’m working on. I’m working on a book “Survivor” by Chuck Palahniuk that I’m working on with a friend. It’s a great book. I love that book. So we’ve been working on that."
Just because he's working on it, however, doesn't mean this will happen... it's a book that deals with a self-proclaimed messianic figure hijacking and crashing a plane into a building, after all. Not sure when the world (aka a studio to finance it) will be ready for that storyline...
What this does bring to mind, however, is that Palahniuk's book Choke has already been made into a movie but... where is it? I need to see what it's deal is. Hold the phone!...
Well, really, doesn't seem to be much word on the flick - it stars the lovely Kelly Macdonald, Sam Rockwell, and Anjelica Huston - except that it'll be playing at Sundance next month. I suppose we'll hear more round then. Stay tuned!
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Just As You Dance, Dance, Dance...
The day's obsession continues... This song makes me dance like a wounded Pterodactyl. That's, uh, a good thing. Or, at least, quite typical for how I dance. Spastic's how I roll.
Here's the (New? It is to me) video for Radiohead's "Jigsaw Falling Into Place":
Here's the (New? It is to me) video for Radiohead's "Jigsaw Falling Into Place":
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I Am Monday Morning Link
Not a lot that's wrestling my attentions away from Radiohead-related hysteria right now, but here's a couple points o' interest round the 'net...
--- Champagne Wishes and Bamber-Towel Dreams - You could be the lucky owner of one of three towels that have cradled Jamie Bamber's nethers. This is one of those times in my life when I curse not being incredibly wealthy. Well really, if I were incredibly wealthy I'd just pay to cradle Jamie Bamber's nethers myself, but the towels are going for charity - specifically, something about sending pencils to studios in support of the striking writers - so a good cause could benefit from my dirty exploitative thoughts, too. Yay charity!--- I think most anyone who reads MNPP also reads The Film Experience - well, you oughta be, if not - so perhaps everyone's seen this already. But if not y'all ought to check out Nat's two-part (Part 1, Part 2) interview with screen-legend Max von Sydow, because it's fucking Max von Sydow. And Nat asks the right questions.
--- Hmm, these new images of Heath Ledger as the Joker aren't nearly as creepy-hot at that Empire pic from last week... these new ones are too bright, and he's... spinning... like he's a particularly grubby extra in The King and I. Weird.
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Labels:
Christopher Nolan,
Heath Ledger,
Ingmar Bergman,
Jamie Bamber
I've Got Disc 2 Dementia; Look Away
Just a heads-up: I'm having a really really difficult time focusing on anything other than the fact the the second CD of Radiohead's In Rainbows - the CD that's part of the $80 disc-box - has leaked online this morning. Everyone who ordered the disc-box - myself included - got an email yesterday saying that the package was sent out but could take as long as 18 days. I have yet to figure out if this was Radiohead fucking with us or not. But they said they were sending it by boat, because they're goddamned hippies, some carbon footprint bullshit seems possible. Anyway, if you can't tell, my head is... preoccupied... with this nonsense. People in the UK have already gotten their disc-boxes this morning and it's apparently made it's way online. I will totally download it because if I have to wait 18 days for my actual copy... well, there's no way in hell I'll wait 18 days to hear it, basically. I'm not a Nazi about the quality of the rip so I don't care if I hear it in a lesser version first, since when I do get my actual copy I'll hear it the way it's supposed to sound, "loss-less" as the music geeks say. And ya see? This is why I'm posting - a warning, a "hey, JA's a little out of his mind right now," so my not posting this morning makes sense to y'all. I'm posting to show you why I'm not posting! It all makes sense! Anyway, I've got 27% of my Disc 2 download right now, and I'm going to go stare at the bar as it grows. I'll be back later, hopefully with a shred of sanity of dignity or anything not quite so pathetic attached. Bye!Sunday, December 02, 2007
Friday, November 30, 2007
What Has Six Legs And Makes Me Die Inside?
"Name something in a horror movie that frightens you or makes you squirm but doesn’t seem to scare anyone else you know."
My reply to this query isn't exactly Earth-shattering - half the people who responded said something along the same lines. But let me just tell you: in order to find the image for this post here I googled the words "bug legs" without thinking and I swear to god I almost vomited from the images this phrase delivered. UGH. I'm going to have nightmares for weeks.
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Go Greenwood
It's taking about all the energy I can muster to push my fingers to the keyboard and write this sentence. This thrilling sentence. Well, that thrilling sentence, since that sentence is ended now. I think I'm delirious.

Anyway, as seen above, GvB has the cover-art for Jonny Greenwood (he of Radiohead)'s score to Paul Thomas Anderson's There Will Be Blood. I hadn't seen it before. I'm guessing maybe somebody else hasn't. Hence this post. GvB also has a link to where two of the tracks from said score are streaming. If you care. I need my bed now. Bye.
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Today's Mood
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Robert Ford (Casey Affleck),
The Assassination of Jesse James
By The Coward Robert Ford
The Assassination of Jesse James
By The Coward Robert Ford
"He's just a human being.".
I Am Link
I'm feeling a little under-the-weather this morning - sniffles! - so I might not have the blogging joie de vivre we've all come to love and admire from me today... but here's some links!
--- The Golden Compass is playing on 800 screens for a sneak preview tomorrow night at 7pm... you can see if it's near you at this link (found via Cinematical). I already had plans tomorrow night of the unbreakable sort, so I cannot attend... [insert cursing the gods here].--- I keep hearing amazing things about this Spanish first-person zombie flick [REC] so I figure it's high time I pointed it out - I mean, it's already slated for an American remake. Twitch has got a couple of clips up. I imagine it might get some Stateside play in the new year... one hopes...
--- I don't have much, if any, enthusiasm brewing for this Justice League movie, but they've found their Wonder Woman, apparently. She's nobody anybody's ever heard of, but she's tall, chesty, and brunette, so she's anatomically correct. So to speak.
--- This love letter from Roger Ebert to Werner Herzog is Roger at his finest.
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Labels:
horror,
Roger Ebert,
The Golden Compass,
Werner Herzog
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Say It Ain't So, Brad Pitt!
According to People (via D-Listed), Brad Pitt won't be doing any more nude scenes because he's afraid of embarrassing his kids. Fuck that shit! If I were Maddox I'd carry a framed picture of my father's ass to school every day and tell everybody that I got to go home to that. Anyway, in honor of this saddest of occasions, here's a little memorial to all we had and never realized would be snatched away from us so brutally:
You know what they say: you don't know what you got til it's gone. I think maybe Aristotle said that. Anyway, I'm gonna hole up with the director's cut of Troy and spend the next week in mourning. See ya.
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Marry Me, Bryan Fuller
I don't know why it'd not occurred to me in the past, but after once again laughing my ass of at last night's episode of Pushing Daisies I decided to read up on the show's creator - as well as the co-creator of one of my favorite shows ever, Wonderfalls - Bryan Fuller. See, in last night's episode when, for a second week in a row, a Hitchcock-riff presented itself - Molly Shannon as Tippi Hedren being attacked by gulls had me rolling on the floor - I realized that Bryan Fuller is... what's the word? A Genius? God? (No offense to the boyfriend but) The Perfect Man?So I went scouring the internet for some interviews with him and, after reading several, well, Bryan Fuller might just be the coolest man alive. And he's a gay! Here's a choice selection of quotes from him, all of which seem to have been created in a lab by scientists using some kind of genetic decoding of everything that makes me squeal with glee.
Bryan Fuller on how he got started (via Brilliant But Cancelled, 12/06):
"I never really fancied myself a writer. I was a huge, huge “Star Trek” fan, and I didn’t want to be a television writer as much as I wanted to be a “Star Trek” writer. And so I went to film school, and that was a very eye opening experience. Because I originally fancied myself as a director. And when I got there, it was just so technical. There were F-stops. And it was more than my delicate little brain could handle."
Bryan Fuller, talking about the tough time he had with the networks creating gay characters for Dead Like Me, his first show (which I ain't seen and am throwing on my queue today), and Wonderfalls (also via B,BC):
"And the very real fact, unfortunately, is that homosexuality makes people uncomfortable. As much as we’ve had “Will and Grace” and the loathsome “Queer as Folk.”... I do see the purpose that "Queer as Folk" serves. There is a chance for people to look around and say “Okay, there are gay people all around us.” But for me, I hated all the gay people on the show. If anything, I would be the character in the parking lot with the baseball bat. They were all, down the line, just loathsome people and I really resented them being at the forefront representing homosexual culture when they were all so reprehensible."
Bryan Fuller on one of the inspirations for Pushing Daisies and his preoccupation with death (via B,BC):"This is going to sound awful, but some of my fondest memories as a child were going to funerals because that was sort of a very social event and I got to see lots of cousins that I didn’t normally see every day. And they weren’t as sick of my shit as my immediate family, so it was easier to talk to them about TV and movies and things that I was sort of fanatical about. They would sort of put up with it. So I always had good experiences at funerals...
I’m really curious about what happens next? People talk about near death experiences. And what is it that they see? Is it a bright light? Is it the Care Bear Village?"
Bryan Fuller on the amazing Katie Finneran, who was hysterical as Jaye's gay sister Sharon on Wonderfalls (via AfterEllen, 3/04):
"She just sings on screen. She has impeccable comic timing, and is just a brilliant actress across the board. Also, she had a part in Night of the Living Dead as part of the zombie barbeque. If you get eaten by a zombie in a horror movie, I'm in love with you."
Bryan Fuller on why Sharon was conceived of as a gay character and what he'd planned to do with her (also via AE):
"Todd [Holland, co-creator of Wonderfalls] and I are both openly gay, and I think we feel a responsibility to having gay characters on shows we create. I had a gay character (George's father) on Dead Like Me, and unfortunately after I left that show they made the character straight, which I did not appreciate and frankly, thought was really shitty. But that was just one of many things about that situation that was uncool...
[Sharon]’s a very conflicted character, one of those Log Cabin Republicans. We have a line in one of the episodes where she’s a part of the Conservative Ladies of America and her sister accuses her of using the Republican Party as a lesbian dating service. It’s a different angle that will give us a richer context and help you understand why someone who is so politically conservative might still be in the closet...
In the second season, however, we'll be able to explore those ideas more freely. There are things that happen in the first season, for example, that are setting up huge character arcs for Sharon in the second season. Huge! We have so many big things coming for Sharon -- we're going to be seeing a lot of the lesbian lawyer in the second season."
Oh if only, Bryan! Anyway, as gay as Pushing Daisies is - and man, it don't get much gayer than a duet between Kristen Chenoweth and Ellen Greene, right? - I'm looking forward to a gay character any day now! I know, I know, let's just get this writer's strike resolved and make sure Pushing Daisies gets a second season first. Patience!
Bryan Fuller on his religious upbringing (via SuicideGirls, 1/05):
"I was raised with some fucked Catholic shit."
Bryan Fuller on why Wonderfalls maybe didn't find an audience (also via SG):
"ABC launched Lost and Desperate Housewives like summer movie blockbusters. Most networks will choose one or two shows to get behind and spend that money on. Wonderfalls was not one of those shows because they didn’t think it had those things that would appeal to a mass audience. It wasn’t boobies on the beach. I wish they had got behind Wonderfalls a tenth of how they got behind North Shore. They didn’t see the commercial appeal because our main character, while stunningly beautiful, was a bit of a tomboy. She was never in dress and although you did see her perfect stomach with a bare midriff. With the advertising, we weren’t like “Don’t you want to fuck Caroline Dhavernas?”"
Bryan Fuller on casting Diana Scarwid (who played Christina in Mommie Dearest) as Jaye's mother in Wonderfalls (also via SG):
"A friend of mine was asking me if I was fag enough to ask Diana Scarwid about Mommie Dearest and I said, no, but I was definitely fag enough to ask her about Psycho 3. She sort of stared at me when I went “Remember when you pushed that nun down the bell tower at the beginning?” She just said, stop talking."
On being weird (also via SG):
"I’m occasionally stoned on the marijuana but that’s as deviant as I get as far as substances. I think it’s that weird things interest me. Weird shit comes out of my mouth which may seem like genius to some people but it’s just weird."
Seriously - the more I read, the more I fall in love. He obsesses over obscure horror bits, he wants to gay-bash the characters in Queer as Folk, and he imagines the afterlife to be something like the Care Bear Village. You are most definitely my sort of weird, Mr. Fuller.
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No Mo' Mrs. Voorhees?
I always knew, in my black heart of hearts, that the whole "Patty Clarkson will play Mrs. Voorhees" rumor would likely never come to pass. I mean, sure, Patty's shown herself to be perfectly willing to dive into low-budget horror in the past - she did Larry Fessenden's Wendigo and Lucky McKee's The Woods, after all - so perhaps if the stars aligned it could've maybe happened, but I think at this point we can agree it's not to be.
Especially now with word from ShockTilYouDrop that the latest Friday the 13th - to be directed by TCM-remake-auteur Marcus Nispel - is not really a remake after all. Sayeth STYD:
"Platinum Dunes' Friday the 13th project. What do you label it? Remake? Re-launch?
After speaking to a source close to the project who wishes to stay outside of the spotlight (for now), we're striking the former term out of future reports on the film.
"It's not a remake," says our insider. Don't even expect an origin tale - as some production listings around Hollywood are pegging it as. Imagine if there was a story to be told somewhere between parts two and four, just add water (from Camp Crystal Lake, duh), insert a leaner, meaner, faster Jason Voorhees, set to "blend" and you've got the recipe for what Dunes, writers Damian Shannon and Mark Swift and director Marcus Nispel got cookin'."
Well there's already something "between parts two and four" and it's called Friday the 13th : Part III and it's in 3-D and it's awesome. Eyeballs a'poppin!
This whole "leaner, meaner, faster" nonsense is giving me Rob Zombie's Halloween inspired shivers, too. Jason's about the quick slice-n-dice, the slow lumbering build-up and the jump scare; he's not about seventeen-minute long torture scenes. Let's hope they remember the spirit of fun inherent to the series - these were never ever meant to be taken at any level of seriousness - and don't make it an ugly mess.Maybe there's a juicy older camp counselor part for Patty? Or she could always don the mask and overalls! She'd certainly make for a leaner Jason!
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Today's Mood
Here's to a VERY Happy Birthday for the amazing Anna Faris!
Doing to Ryan Reynolds exactly what I'd do if I met him:

Samantha James (Anna Faris),
Just Friends

Samantha James (Anna Faris),
Just Friends
"You and I are gonna be the greatest musical manager team
since Jessica Simpson and her father
only you and I get to mreow and they can't,
'cause it's illegal. I looked it up."
I know I've talked about how incredibly funny Faris is in this otherwise mediocre (at best) movie - hell, she's incredibly funny in every movie she's done - but it bears repeating, especially since she still ain't getting the respect she deserves. I'm gonna keep on hitting this same note until somebody out there listens!
Now I'm just counting the minutes until Gregg Araki's Smiley Face hits DVD in January so I can laugh once more. I won't laugh until then, I swear to Christ!

Okay I lied; that picture totally has me cracking up. Love ya, Anna!
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Labels:
Anna Faris,
birthdays,
Gregg Araki,
Ryan Reynolds,
todays mood
Thursday's Ways Not To Die
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I guess we can consider this a belated Thanksgiving-themed Way Not To Die, seeing as how the film revolves around the splendid holiday and I didn't do one of these last week, so busy was I filling my maw with mashed potatoes.
Anyway, nobody - and I mean nobody! - can tell me that little Mikey Carver's death (uh... spoiler?) in The Ice Storm isn't one of the most affecting deaths ever put on-screen. The accident itself is so haunting - the crisp air, the silence - and so beautifully shot that it's permanently etched itself into my brain. I haven't read Rick Moody's book on which the film was based so I don't know if he describes Mikey's orange parka specifically or not, but if not then the costume designer Carol Oditz [side-note: How did she not receive an Oscar nomination? Not to mention a win. Not just this jacket but so many pieces of this film's wardrobe I can instantly conjure up memories of - Christina Ricci's red cape, Sigourney Weaver's giant wooden necklace, Joan Allen's bubble umbrella, Allison Janney's semi-psychedelic black-and-white "key party" dress] deserves huge accolades for finding such a perfect costume. Not only is it just right period-wise, but - and I'm sure Ang Lee had something to do with this, as well - it accomplishes so much all on it's own. The contrast of its day-glo orange on the black and white scenery is... striking, to put it mildly, and when it does come time for the wires to fall and electrocute poor Mikey the parka itself speaks for the violence and horror - that shock of color, if you will - of the moment while Lee - naturally - keeps all else restrained. And from a practical standpoint, when Ben Hood (Kevin Kline) comes upon the body a little while later, the costuming choice makes Mikey all the easier to spot. It's a perfectly rendered scene - both tragic and beautiful - in a film full of such moments.
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The Ice Storm (1997)
I guess we can consider this a belated Thanksgiving-themed Way Not To Die, seeing as how the film revolves around the splendid holiday and I didn't do one of these last week, so busy was I filling my maw with mashed potatoes.
Anyway, nobody - and I mean nobody! - can tell me that little Mikey Carver's death (uh... spoiler?) in The Ice Storm isn't one of the most affecting deaths ever put on-screen. The accident itself is so haunting - the crisp air, the silence - and so beautifully shot that it's permanently etched itself into my brain. I haven't read Rick Moody's book on which the film was based so I don't know if he describes Mikey's orange parka specifically or not, but if not then the costume designer Carol Oditz [side-note: How did she not receive an Oscar nomination? Not to mention a win. Not just this jacket but so many pieces of this film's wardrobe I can instantly conjure up memories of - Christina Ricci's red cape, Sigourney Weaver's giant wooden necklace, Joan Allen's bubble umbrella, Allison Janney's semi-psychedelic black-and-white "key party" dress] deserves huge accolades for finding such a perfect costume. Not only is it just right period-wise, but - and I'm sure Ang Lee had something to do with this, as well - it accomplishes so much all on it's own. The contrast of its day-glo orange on the black and white scenery is... striking, to put it mildly, and when it does come time for the wires to fall and electrocute poor Mikey the parka itself speaks for the violence and horror - that shock of color, if you will - of the moment while Lee - naturally - keeps all else restrained. And from a practical standpoint, when Ben Hood (Kevin Kline) comes upon the body a little while later, the costuming choice makes Mikey all the easier to spot. It's a perfectly rendered scene - both tragic and beautiful - in a film full of such moments.
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Previous Ways Not To Die: A Mouthful Of Flare -- Taken By The TV Lady -- Bitten By A Zombie -- Eaten By Your Mattress -- Stuffed To Splitting -- Face Stuck In Liquid Nitrogen -- Crushed By Crumbling Church Debris -- Bitten By The Jaws Of Life -- A Machete To The Crotch -- Showering With A Chain-Saw -- In A Room Filled With Razor Wire -- Pod People'd With Your Dog -- Force-Fed Art -- Skinned By A Witch -- Beaten With An Oar -- Curbed -- Cape Malfunction -- In The Corner -- Cooked In A Tanning Bed -- Diced -- Punched Through The Head -- Bugs Sucking On Your Head.
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Wednesday, November 28, 2007
A Pushing Daisies Public Service Announcement
I'm ripping this off from AICN but it's muy importante so getting the word out is critical: tonight's episode of Pushing Daisies, the one where Molly Shannon and Mike White guest-star, is airing at 9pm instead of the usual 8pm. I know I'll be running home post-work to reprogram my Tivo.
And seeing as how there's been no Katee Sackhoff in the past couple episodes of Bionic Woman and there's no sign of her in the preview for tonight's episode I think it's high time the show got shafted from the venerable Season Pass. What a BORING mess it is without her. I'll tune back in if Katee ever shows back up, but otherwise I couldn't care less. See ya, losers!
I mean Michelle Ryan and crew by "losers" by the way. Not y'all. Never y'all! Y'all rock! Y'all roll! So on, so forth, love in an elevator. ... I think I'm going a bit batty today. A bit. A weeeeee bit. Sigh.
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And seeing as how there's been no Katee Sackhoff in the past couple episodes of Bionic Woman and there's no sign of her in the preview for tonight's episode I think it's high time the show got shafted from the venerable Season Pass. What a BORING mess it is without her. I'll tune back in if Katee ever shows back up, but otherwise I couldn't care less. See ya, losers!
I mean Michelle Ryan and crew by "losers" by the way. Not y'all. Never y'all! Y'all rock! Y'all roll! So on, so forth, love in an elevator. ... I think I'm going a bit batty today. A bit. A weeeeee bit. Sigh.
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Gratuitous David Beckham
It's all sporty up in My...Pants today, huh? All of these are swiped from a huge gallery at JJ of Mr. Golden Balls playing some game - what? am I supposed to pay attention to details? - and looking fine as usual in Australia yesterday.




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I Don't Need No Reason For More Jake!
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I'm posting this picture of Jake Gyllenhaal (swiped from the Master of All Jake-Ceremonies herself) just because I think he looks especially adorable in it and I hadn't seen it before and this Namath-news is still happily playing out in my brain. Swoon.
That's all. Carry on!
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That's all. Carry on!
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Today's Mood
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Krysta Now (Sarah Michelle Gellar),
Southland Tales
Southland Tales
"Scientists are saying the future
is going to be far more futuristic
than they originally predicted."
One thing that I haven't mentioned amidst the brief vitriol I've spewed at Southland Tales is this: the one shining beacon of hope is SMG's performance as the politically-minded porn-star talk-show host Krysta Now. She's terrific. If the entire movie had had a grasp on what it was trying to do, on its tone, like she has, then it all would've worked out much much better. Yay Smidge!
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Jake Gyllenhaal In A Football Uniform
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Oh dear. It's too early in the morning for my mind to be filled with these dirty, dirty thoughts. From DH:
First off, it's good to see Jake's filling up his calendar with work for the future; I wouldn't want the relative (financial) non-success of the projects he's picked lately to harm his ability to grace our screens. Especially if he'll be gracing our screens with... lockerrooms... and... jockstraps... and... I'm sorry, I have to go and find a paper bag to breath into right now.
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"Universal Pictures is planning a biopic of 60's American gridiron legend Joe Namath with Jake Gyllenhaal to play the Hall of Fame quarterback reports Variety.
Namath was the first football player to achieve real rock-star status. The Pennsylvania kid scored a record salary and became a sensation on the field, in nightclubs and on Madison Avenue as the first star to become a magnet for commercials.
His success was a key factor in paving the way to a merger between the then two football leagues and helped establish football as a TV sport.
David Hollander will write the script once the writers strike is over. Gyllenhall, currently filming Jim Sheridan's "Brothers," is next committed to an untitled Doug Liman sci-fi thriller."
First off, it's good to see Jake's filling up his calendar with work for the future; I wouldn't want the relative (financial) non-success of the projects he's picked lately to harm his ability to grace our screens. Especially if he'll be gracing our screens with... lockerrooms... and... jockstraps... and... I'm sorry, I have to go and find a paper bag to breath into right now.
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Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Eva Green's Sleeves
This post is specifically for the boyfriend, who is obsessed with Eva Green's penchant for wearing long sleeves. He loves her for it. Seriously; it's a little weird. But then that's why I love him. Well that and he cooks for me. I need to eat!
Here she is at the London premiere of The Golden Compass last evening (via D-Listed):

She is a stone fox, that's for certain. And in related news, I'm sooooo pleased that the film got a good notice in The Guardian. My worries dissipate... a little. Only 10 more days til we'll see for ourselves, anyway!
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She is a stone fox, that's for certain. And in related news, I'm sooooo pleased that the film got a good notice in The Guardian. My worries dissipate... a little. Only 10 more days til we'll see for ourselves, anyway!
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Pics of the Day
Well... yeah. Obviously I'm posting the first official shots from Indiana Jones and the Something Crystal Something. Via JJ:


Harrison's still got it! If by "it" I mean "a flask of Jack Daniels." And I do. Obviously.
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Early Rainbows Arrive
Some asshole lucky soul received the big-time box-set of Radiohead's In Rainbows in the mail by mistake yesterday! As y'all remember, the single download version was released pay-whatever-you-want a few weeks back; a second option, for those of us psychotically-obsessed (like me), was to pay around 80 bucks for a Disc-box that includes a second CD, as well as a hardcover book with loads or artwork and vinyl copies of both albums as well. All in a pretty binder thingamajig. In a word: Insta-orgasm. It's due to be released on December 3rd.
Anyway, some "person" has already gotten their copy. Over at atease this "person" downloaded a bunch of pictures of said set; here are a couple:



You can see more at the link.
Sigh. Why do the fates never smile upon meeeeeeee? Oh well, it's only a few days, aka FOREVER, until I hold it in my own greedy paws. I'll survive. I'll survive by making everyone else's lives miserable! Ha ha ha! You suck.
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Hi There, Mr. Joker Man
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Is it wrong that I'm suddenly finding Heath Ledger as The Joker (pic from ComingSoon) tremendously attractive? Something about that pose... rowr. He can gas me with nitrous-oxide any time.
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I Am Link
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--- Two pretty faces have joined the cast of the remake of Alfred Hitchcock's The Lodger - Simon Baker and Shane West (via DH). In better news, the delightful Rebecca Pidgeon, aka Mrs. David Mamet, is also listed in the cast; I've loved her ever since The Spanish Prisoner ("Well dog my cats."). Plus, Hope Davis!
--- Watching the Watchmen - The first pics from Zach Snyder's adaptation of Alan Moore's Watchmen have surfaced. I'm still undecided as to whether this is a good idea or not.
--- In the heat of the holiday moment I forgot to offer up a link to last week's Horror Roundtable at The Horror Blog, so here ya go - we're talking about books n' stuff.
--- Damion checked out Skull & Bones, a new gay horror flick, at Queering the Apparatus; he says:
So I guess I'll check this one out eventually... I've been burned by recent queer cinema so much in the past couple of years I (shamefully) don't really even bother anymore... it's nice to get a heads-up to something possibly somewhat interesting.
--- Again I was bored silly by last night's episode of Heroes... not even a shirtless Zachary Quinto could draw me in. There was one moment's saving grace, though - how hysterical was the moment when Cheerleader caught Kristen Bell spying on her tender ash-pouring ceremony and we watched as Kristen clumsily looked for someplace to stash her Big Gulp cup? THAT, my friends, was comedy. Otherwise, a big fat meh. How much can I care about characters that
continually believe whatever they're told by complete strangers? Everyone behaves like a total moron constantly so the threadbare plot can creak forward with all the urgency of my grandmother putting together a puzzle. Blah blah blah. I'm to the point now where I hope Kristen is killed in next week's "shocking" mid-season finale so I can stop watching altogether. And I'm sure y'all hope it happens too so y'all can stop listening to me bitch. It's win-win!
End rant. There's an interview with Kristen Bell over at E!Online is my only point here.
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--- Watching the Watchmen - The first pics from Zach Snyder's adaptation of Alan Moore's Watchmen have surfaced. I'm still undecided as to whether this is a good idea or not.
--- In the heat of the holiday moment I forgot to offer up a link to last week's Horror Roundtable at The Horror Blog, so here ya go - we're talking about books n' stuff.
--- Damion checked out Skull & Bones, a new gay horror flick, at Queering the Apparatus; he says:
"Ultimately, while I don't think the movie is great, I really admire Slaughter and what he is trying to do here, and I think this movie is worth seeing... but this film may be trying to do too many things in too short a span. It is, at once, campy, thrilling, horrific, silly, irreverent, shocking, socially conscious, rebellious, proudly irresponsible, perverted, and too tame... and that is a lot for one 73 minute movie to embody."
So I guess I'll check this one out eventually... I've been burned by recent queer cinema so much in the past couple of years I (shamefully) don't really even bother anymore... it's nice to get a heads-up to something possibly somewhat interesting.
--- Again I was bored silly by last night's episode of Heroes... not even a shirtless Zachary Quinto could draw me in. There was one moment's saving grace, though - how hysterical was the moment when Cheerleader caught Kristen Bell spying on her tender ash-pouring ceremony and we watched as Kristen clumsily looked for someplace to stash her Big Gulp cup? THAT, my friends, was comedy. Otherwise, a big fat meh. How much can I care about characters that
continually believe whatever they're told by complete strangers? Everyone behaves like a total moron constantly so the threadbare plot can creak forward with all the urgency of my grandmother putting together a puzzle. Blah blah blah. I'm to the point now where I hope Kristen is killed in next week's "shocking" mid-season finale so I can stop watching altogether. And I'm sure y'all hope it happens too so y'all can stop listening to me bitch. It's win-win!End rant. There's an interview with Kristen Bell over at E!Online is my only point here.
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Monday, November 26, 2007
5 Off The Top Of My Head - Catch-Up!
Man, today's just frittering away. It's after 4pm already? Really? I must make amends! There are several stories I've let slip between my fingertips lately - a couple of which I made reference to in my post yesterday morning - that I've got to get a handle on. So this is me playing some catch-up. Here are five things I need to get out. Tread lightly, there be spoilers in these here hills.
1 - Battlestar Galactica: Razor --- So this aired on Saturday night which means I know all y'all who watch the show have devoured it by now, because we BSG fans are too fanatical a bunch to let it gather dust. I saw it a couple weeks back but did watch pieces of it again on SciFi as it aired to refresh some memories... specifically the final couple of scenes, which hold the most important information, as in the Cylon-oracle-thingy's warning that Starbuck will lead the human race to its end. I feel much the way my pal Sean did when he wrote it up - Razor felt like a decent enough episode(s) of the show but it didn't blow my mind. I too would've liked the show to give us more than a slo-mo shoulder-pat as evidence of Cain and Gina's relationship - as it stands, for a show that hasn't hesitated from bringing the sexy, this hesitance read a lil' scaredy-cat homophobic-like. I'm the last person who'd ever argue that the fact that Cain and Gina were both "evil" is homophobic - as every character on this blessed show, they're much more complicated than merely "evil" - but the reticence to some lady-on-lady action was... obvious. Other thoughts: I must get a screen-grab of that weirdly-angled shot of Jamie Bamber's uniformed behind taking up half the screen for a second, cuz goddamn; five seconds of screen-time for Laura Roslin makes this boy pout; I would worship Katee Sackhoff like a God if she asked me to. I know I've got other things to say, but yeah, mind blanking. I'm just rushing this stuff out so I say something; otherwise shiny things might distract me. Shiny!
1 - Battlestar Galactica: Razor --- So this aired on Saturday night which means I know all y'all who watch the show have devoured it by now, because we BSG fans are too fanatical a bunch to let it gather dust. I saw it a couple weeks back but did watch pieces of it again on SciFi as it aired to refresh some memories... specifically the final couple of scenes, which hold the most important information, as in the Cylon-oracle-thingy's warning that Starbuck will lead the human race to its end. I feel much the way my pal Sean did when he wrote it up - Razor felt like a decent enough episode(s) of the show but it didn't blow my mind. I too would've liked the show to give us more than a slo-mo shoulder-pat as evidence of Cain and Gina's relationship - as it stands, for a show that hasn't hesitated from bringing the sexy, this hesitance read a lil' scaredy-cat homophobic-like. I'm the last person who'd ever argue that the fact that Cain and Gina were both "evil" is homophobic - as every character on this blessed show, they're much more complicated than merely "evil" - but the reticence to some lady-on-lady action was... obvious. Other thoughts: I must get a screen-grab of that weirdly-angled shot of Jamie Bamber's uniformed behind taking up half the screen for a second, cuz goddamn; five seconds of screen-time for Laura Roslin makes this boy pout; I would worship Katee Sackhoff like a God if she asked me to. I know I've got other things to say, but yeah, mind blanking. I'm just rushing this stuff out so I say something; otherwise shiny things might distract me. Shiny!
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2 - The Mist --- Hrm, do I have a poison touch or what? It's starting to feel like all the films I really can't get enough of are doomed. Grindhouse flopped, this flopped, half a dozen horror movies are leaping like a deranged Q-bert around the calendar thwarting my expectant eyes. Run from me in horror, producers! I doom your movies by being interested in them! Ahem. So, box-office-woes aside, I mostly dug Frank Darabont's The Mist. I have a few issues with it - namely, for a film I was wetting my bed nightly in anticipation for, I never really fell in love with it like I'd wanted to. The word the boyfriend and I kept coming back to was "solid" - it was all there, what I'd wanted, but it never truly added up to something that knocked me on my ass like I'd hoped. This sounds harsher than I mean it to - I liked the film, I did. I just didn't love it, which I could've if something - something I haven't quite put my finger on yet - had gone differently. As for the much-discussed ending - which is a big change from the story - I can't go ballistic like my pal Sean did - oh how he did - because somehow I'd seen all of the film's trailers and not once beforehand noticed that they included spoilery shots about the ending. So... that didn't ruin it for me. But my reaction still suffered from the same flatness - I liked it, in theory; I liked what Darabont chose to do and where he took the story, but it never knocked the wind out of me like it should've. I suspect my feelings about the film might be summed up by what Sean said while speaking of the ending:
Man I wanna leave it at just that, but I must add that I can't imagine this movie being nearly as much fun as it was - and it was a blast - if you see it in other than IMAX 3D. Never have I found myself so hypnotized by nose-hairs!
But seriously, Beowulf is a hot piece of ass. Giggle-worthy was the way they exploited their hero's flesh! And thankful for it, I was! And apparently drawn into Yoda-speak by this movie, I am. Huh? What? See it.
5 - This is sorta random, or at least not really keeping in tune with the four previous entries in this here list, but to be honest I was blanking on a fifth - yet the format demands it! So this story probably everybody's read by now - not that that's ever held me back before! - but it certainly caught my eye over the weekend: I had zero-point-zero-zero interest in the haps with Terminator 4, then the news breaks that Christian Bale will be playing the older John Connor and suddenly I am 100% interested. That's how you do casting, people! Of course, Bale's involvement in anything works this sorta magic on me, so if only he were cast in everything. Right? I know. I dare to dream. Hi Christian! Call me!

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2 - The Mist --- Hrm, do I have a poison touch or what? It's starting to feel like all the films I really can't get enough of are doomed. Grindhouse flopped, this flopped, half a dozen horror movies are leaping like a deranged Q-bert around the calendar thwarting my expectant eyes. Run from me in horror, producers! I doom your movies by being interested in them! Ahem. So, box-office-woes aside, I mostly dug Frank Darabont's The Mist. I have a few issues with it - namely, for a film I was wetting my bed nightly in anticipation for, I never really fell in love with it like I'd wanted to. The word the boyfriend and I kept coming back to was "solid" - it was all there, what I'd wanted, but it never truly added up to something that knocked me on my ass like I'd hoped. This sounds harsher than I mean it to - I liked the film, I did. I just didn't love it, which I could've if something - something I haven't quite put my finger on yet - had gone differently. As for the much-discussed ending - which is a big change from the story - I can't go ballistic like my pal Sean did - oh how he did - because somehow I'd seen all of the film's trailers and not once beforehand noticed that they included spoilery shots about the ending. So... that didn't ruin it for me. But my reaction still suffered from the same flatness - I liked it, in theory; I liked what Darabont chose to do and where he took the story, but it never knocked the wind out of me like it should've. I suspect my feelings about the film might be summed up by what Sean said while speaking of the ending:
"... we haven't really gotten to know these characters beyond their stock roles. Unlike the comparable units in the first two George Romero Dead movies, for example, none of these five has done anything surprising, nor have they grown and changed from the people we first met, really. They're just there, so this horrible ending that befalls them is just there too."
3 - Southland Tales --- Even though I hated it - and oh dear, did I hate it - I am going to see it again. So I'm saving my opinions for a second viewing. A second, what-I-fear-could- be-even-more-painful viewing. The sacrifices I make!
Man I wanna leave it at just that, but I must add that I can't imagine this movie being nearly as much fun as it was - and it was a blast - if you see it in other than IMAX 3D. Never have I found myself so hypnotized by nose-hairs!
But seriously, Beowulf is a hot piece of ass. Giggle-worthy was the way they exploited their hero's flesh! And thankful for it, I was! And apparently drawn into Yoda-speak by this movie, I am. Huh? What? See it.
5 - This is sorta random, or at least not really keeping in tune with the four previous entries in this here list, but to be honest I was blanking on a fifth - yet the format demands it! So this story probably everybody's read by now - not that that's ever held me back before! - but it certainly caught my eye over the weekend: I had zero-point-zero-zero interest in the haps with Terminator 4, then the news breaks that Christian Bale will be playing the older John Connor and suddenly I am 100% interested. That's how you do casting, people! Of course, Bale's involvement in anything works this sorta magic on me, so if only he were cast in everything. Right? I know. I dare to dream. Hi Christian! Call me!

Today's Mood
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Isaac Davis (Woody Allen),
Manhattan
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Isaac Davis (Woody Allen),
Manhattan
"They probably sit around on the floor with wine and cheese
and mispronounce allegorical and didacticism."
Where Lay The Ruins

The boyfriend asked me for this information just yesterday, but it was something that crossed my mind last week - just what is going on with The Ruins, the film adapation of Scott Smith's compulsively readable book? When's this sucker coming out? It's been ages since the casting news broke and the thing was shooting. Well lo n' behold, in a really odd blip about the film over at BD they revealed the film's release date:
"Interesting news was discovered today over at USA Today where an article revealed the killer in Paramount Pictures' The Ruins, which will completely shock, and excite you! Directed by Carter Smith, the film is looking at an April 11 release. Jonathan Tucker, Laura Ramsey, Jena Malone, Shawn Ashmore, Caitlin Stasey and Joe Anderson all star. Read on for the article."
I say it''s an "odd" story because the story they're speaking of in USA Today's only point seems to be that the villain of the story is a plant, which... um, I think even people who haven't read the book know that, right? I mean, even if you've only seen the book's cover (above) it ought to be clear. But yes, the bad guy is a plant. A plant! A twisty-vined, flowering-with-mouths plant.
And yes, I already worried after reading the book and hearing it was being turned into a film that this could wind up looking like a thousand different kinds of silly. What works on the page might not translate 100% to the screen. We'll see. But it's good to have a date now. April 11th!
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Gratuitous Peter Facinelli
I can't say I'm really a fan of Peter Facinelli, per se... hell, besides sitting through about twenty excruciating minutes of that TV show Fast Lane he was in a few years ago I can't even say I've seen the man in anything. Also, he's married to Jennie Garth... which... well, whatever, much happiness to that mess. All I really know of Mr. Facinelli is A) today is his birthday, and B) Because I have this weirdly encyclopedic knowledge of male nudity - even within films I haven't seen - I know that he looked the best he's ever looked in the film Supernova - I mean, damn! Look at that pic at the top! Why doesn't he cut all his usually scraggly gross hair off for god's sake? - and that he walked around naked. So yeah, a very happy birthday-suit to him today. There are worse ways to start the week off anyway, right?
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Greetings From Vacation-Land!
Howdy, yall! My apologies for the holiday absence without warning; work got busy on Wednesday and then twas Turkey Day and I stuffed myself to the gills and seem to just be rolling out of my mashed-potato-coma today. Not that there's a lack of food leftover - like right now, as I type this, I'm devouring a large slice of this chocolate banana cake one of our friends brought over for dessert on Thursday with a tall glass o' milk and man, I be in heaven.
What was I talking about? (God it's good!) Ahem. So I hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving or, ya know, a lovely Thursday if you're reading from somewhere where the holiday is not observed. Today we're just finishing up cleaning the apartment from the festivities... then it's off to Beowulf in IMAX 3-D later this afternoon! I'm trying to decide if I should eat one of the "special" Rice Krispie treats also left over from Thursday for the movie... or if the "specialness" of said treat would render a 3D Angelina Jolie's torpedo tits too terrifying to behold. (Alliteration yay!)
I'm really scattershot right now, huh? This chocolate banana cake is making me dizzy. My point! I will be back up and blogging tomorrow, and perhaps we'll discuss The Mist and that ending, or Jolie boobs, or many other such wondrous topics that will reveal themselves with time. Tis the way the world goes round! Now back to my cake with me! Cheers!
ETA And BSG Razor aired last night! I must hear what y'all thought on it. With the holiday and with my having watched it a couple weeks back I totally dropped the ball on counting down to it's final arrival last evening. Man I suck! But... Starbuck revelations! Lesbian madness! Gold toasters! Oh my!
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What was I talking about? (God it's good!) Ahem. So I hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving or, ya know, a lovely Thursday if you're reading from somewhere where the holiday is not observed. Today we're just finishing up cleaning the apartment from the festivities... then it's off to Beowulf in IMAX 3-D later this afternoon! I'm trying to decide if I should eat one of the "special" Rice Krispie treats also left over from Thursday for the movie... or if the "specialness" of said treat would render a 3D Angelina Jolie's torpedo tits too terrifying to behold. (Alliteration yay!)
I'm really scattershot right now, huh? This chocolate banana cake is making me dizzy. My point! I will be back up and blogging tomorrow, and perhaps we'll discuss The Mist and that ending, or Jolie boobs, or many other such wondrous topics that will reveal themselves with time. Tis the way the world goes round! Now back to my cake with me! Cheers!
ETA And BSG Razor aired last night! I must hear what y'all thought on it. With the holiday and with my having watched it a couple weeks back I totally dropped the ball on counting down to it's final arrival last evening. Man I suck! But... Starbuck revelations! Lesbian madness! Gold toasters! Oh my!
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Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Quote of the Day
Nothing has given me more hope about The Mist's worth than this, the final paragraph of James Rocchi's rave review at Cinematical:
A world of yes. A giant spider is a giant spider is a giant spider, as Gertrude Stein once wisely said.
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"Many viewers and reviewers will try to find deeper meaning in The Mist -- the initial mistfall's chaos evoking the morning of 9-11, the subsequent decision to hole up in the store evoking Katrina evacuees, the conflict between Jane and Harden emblematic of some large-scale conflict in the American psyche played out in miniature. But to paraphrase Dr. Freud -- or maybe Dr. Frankenstein -- sometimes a monster is just a monster. King's story dates back to 1980, first year of the Reagan presidency, like Loverboy's first record and Rubik's cube; it's held up a lot better, though, especially after Darabont's polish and presentation. Both King and Darabont know that sometimes a monster's just a monster; what they also know, and prove with The Mist, is that in the hands of talented people behind and in front of the camera, sometimes 'just' a monster is more than enough."
A world of yes. A giant spider is a giant spider is a giant spider, as Gertrude Stein once wisely said.
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5 Off The Top Of My Head - Turnblad to the Bone
Sometimes when arranging my Netlix queue I sorta lose my mind. See, if Netflix receives returned movies from you on a Monday, a smart move is to throw brand new movies - the ones that come out on the next day, Tuesday being the day new DVDs are released - right at the top of your queue because they'll send them to you and you avoid dreaded "Very Long Wait" messages. It's a quick way to get new stuff, so I always try to manage having Netflix receive returned movies on a Monday - meaning you send them back on the previous Friday or Saturday - to get the new stuff quickly. It's a trick of the trade for us Netflix-lunatics - don't say I never taught ya nothing! Anyway, when it's Monday and I'm checking what new movies are coming out the next day to add to the top of my queue so I get them right away, sometimes I'll throw a movie up there just because, I don't know, I feel pressured or something. Hoisted by my own petard!
All this is how I explain how I ended up with Hairspray at home yesterday. A movie I thought I'd avoid for the ages. I don't know what made me put it on my queue, besides the aforementioned sense of stressful derangement this queue-arrangement instills in me. On the positive side, this practice also got me a copy of Rescue Dawn yesterday, which I'm dying to watch. But in the interest of getting Hairspray out of my home as quickly as possible, lest the infection spread, I realized I needed to sit down and watch it last night. So I set a bottle of bourbon to my left, held my finger tight to the fast-forward button on my right, and pressed play. Here are five things I learned:
1 - I actually fast-forwarded much less than I expected to. Somewhere in the murky depths of chintz and shameless mugging there was a movie I'd have liked to see. One that starred Allison Janney and Amanda Bynes and Elijah Kelley. Jimmy Marsden was shockingly perfect, too.
2 - I'm beginning to suspect that Michelle Pfeiffer might not be 100% human. And that David E. Kelley's main duties in life are to procure her nubile virgins.
3 - There were actually a couple of moments when I thought Nikki Blonsky was Ricki Lake. From certain angles they look mighty similar. What this says for Miss Blonksy - perfectly charming in the role - and the future of her career (bottom-of-the-barrel talk-show here she comes?) I apologize.
4 - Speaking of doppelgänging, this one was the boyfriend's call and I'll be golly-darned if he didn't hit the nail on the head: John Travolta as Edna Turnblad was a ringer for the QVC-era Suzanne Somers:
Speaking of Miss Travolta - and really I'd like to do as little of that as possible, as his scenes were the ones where my finger found a mind of its own and wore the fast-forward button ragged - just... what the fuck? I mean... just... what the fuck? Listen, this movie was loud. I had the volume adjusted to a really low setting and it was still blaring at me, but every time it was Edna Turnblad's moment to sing I couldn't make out a damned word he was saying. Not that I especially wanted to hear what he was saying, or watch anything coming out of that face... that face that looked like somebody spit-shined a tumor to a glisteny sickening glow. Ugh - a world of shudder. Anyway, never have I missed Divine more.
5 - But as gross as Travolta was? Even stronger was my revulsion whenever the pretty pretty princess Zac Efron was on-screen. That kid creeps me the fuck out. Eww go away.
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All this is how I explain how I ended up with Hairspray at home yesterday. A movie I thought I'd avoid for the ages. I don't know what made me put it on my queue, besides the aforementioned sense of stressful derangement this queue-arrangement instills in me. On the positive side, this practice also got me a copy of Rescue Dawn yesterday, which I'm dying to watch. But in the interest of getting Hairspray out of my home as quickly as possible, lest the infection spread, I realized I needed to sit down and watch it last night. So I set a bottle of bourbon to my left, held my finger tight to the fast-forward button on my right, and pressed play. Here are five things I learned:
1 - I actually fast-forwarded much less than I expected to. Somewhere in the murky depths of chintz and shameless mugging there was a movie I'd have liked to see. One that starred Allison Janney and Amanda Bynes and Elijah Kelley. Jimmy Marsden was shockingly perfect, too.
2 - I'm beginning to suspect that Michelle Pfeiffer might not be 100% human. And that David E. Kelley's main duties in life are to procure her nubile virgins.
3 - There were actually a couple of moments when I thought Nikki Blonsky was Ricki Lake. From certain angles they look mighty similar. What this says for Miss Blonksy - perfectly charming in the role - and the future of her career (bottom-of-the-barrel talk-show here she comes?) I apologize.
4 - Speaking of doppelgänging, this one was the boyfriend's call and I'll be golly-darned if he didn't hit the nail on the head: John Travolta as Edna Turnblad was a ringer for the QVC-era Suzanne Somers:
Speaking of Miss Travolta - and really I'd like to do as little of that as possible, as his scenes were the ones where my finger found a mind of its own and wore the fast-forward button ragged - just... what the fuck? I mean... just... what the fuck? Listen, this movie was loud. I had the volume adjusted to a really low setting and it was still blaring at me, but every time it was Edna Turnblad's moment to sing I couldn't make out a damned word he was saying. Not that I especially wanted to hear what he was saying, or watch anything coming out of that face... that face that looked like somebody spit-shined a tumor to a glisteny sickening glow. Ugh - a world of shudder. Anyway, never have I missed Divine more.
5 - But as gross as Travolta was? Even stronger was my revulsion whenever the pretty pretty princess Zac Efron was on-screen. That kid creeps me the fuck out. Eww go away.
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Oh Danny Boy
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I do love a man who understands the importance of snug trousers. These are from the new issue of GQ, in which Daniel Craig's named one of the Men of the Year, via JJ:
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
I Am 2 Links
--- Sweet Miss Mortimer - AICN has an interview with adorable Emily Mortimer up, in which she speaks a bit about a bunch of her recent films - Lars and the Real Girl (which I saw but never reviewed - I went into it with low expectations and enjoyed it muchly; I really think it's gotten a bad rap critically, and Ryan Gosling continues being terrific); Transsiberian - the Brad "Session 9" Anderson directed thriller will play at Sundance, she says; Number 13 - the Hitchcock semi-bioipic (prev. spoken of here) seems to have hit a snag financially; and Redbelt, David Mamet's film about the mysterious world of Jujitsu. Busy girl!
And, as we'd expect, Mortimer comes off as 150% adorableness. Consider this post, Emily, an open invitation for you and your darling delicious hubby for dinner and booze at my place any time! For you, a large meal stuffed with yummy tryptophan, and for the hubby, um, MDMA-laced whatever.
--- Out Of The... - The NYT has an article/interview on/with Stephen King/Frank Darabont about The Mist. Sayeth the duo:
And, as we'd expect, Mortimer comes off as 150% adorableness. Consider this post, Emily, an open invitation for you and your darling delicious hubby for dinner and booze at my place any time! For you, a large meal stuffed with yummy tryptophan, and for the hubby, um, MDMA-laced whatever.
--- Out Of The... - The NYT has an article/interview on/with Stephen King/Frank Darabont about The Mist. Sayeth the duo:
"“I wanted to make as realistic movie as I could,” he explained. “If you look at a classic horror movie like ‘The Exorcist,’ part of what makes it so scary is that it feels so damn real. If you add a layer of too much hysterical, theatrical reality, then audiences take it less seriously. But if you play it for absolute reality, then the dread and the horror — which is why we go to horror movies in the first place — is reinforced.”.
Mr. King added: “I also like that the effects were not C.G.I. They did it with old-fashioned stop action, and the whole thing feels like it has a relation to average American emotional life. You miss that in ‘Death Proof,’ ‘Hostel,’ ‘Saw.’ But this is set in a supermarket, for Pete’s sake. It’s more like ‘Twilight Zone.’”
Labels:
Brad Anderson,
Frank Darabont,
horror,
Stephen King
Hello Again, Jordan Catalano
As of yesterday, I am finally the proud owner of the My So-Called Life box-set. This is years in the making, people! Years! I hadn't seen an episode since MTV replayed the show ages ago; it's probably been a decade since I sat down and watched any of Angela Chase and the gang. But last night I sat down and watched the first two episodes, and man, talk about a time-machine. I never really thought about it at the time, but I was pretty much the same age as these characters when this show was on - it aired from August 1994 to January of 1995, while I was in my Senior year of High School; Angela was a Sophomore, but since I was (am) emotionally-stunted, we might as well have been the same age. Watching it now brought me back to that time, the early Nineties - all that plaid! - with a vengeance... and then there's Jordan Catalano...

For previous Jordan Catalano-related visual-stimulation, click right here. Oh Jordan! I love the way you lean! Looking at the above pic, I'm reminded that I had my hair EXACTLY like that at this point in time... man, my stalking tendencies revealed themselves early on.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to watching the remainder of MSCL's short-lived run - just 19 episodes! - over the holiday weekend. It's entirely likely I'll be wearing plaid and listening to Counting Crows again this time next week. Beware!
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Anyway, I'm looking forward to watching the remainder of MSCL's short-lived run - just 19 episodes! - over the holiday weekend. It's entirely likely I'll be wearing plaid and listening to Counting Crows again this time next week. Beware!
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Today's Mood
A happy birthday going out to the...
uh... the incomparable... Sean Young.

Rachael (Sean Young),
Blade Runner
uh... the incomparable... Sean Young.

Rachael (Sean Young),
Blade Runner
"The egg hatched....
and a hundred baby spiders came out...
and they ate her."
FD4 4 Realz!
Possibly my favorite existing franchise, the Final Destination films, whether merely good (Parts 1 and 3) or incredibly eye-gougingly instantaneous-orgasm-inducingly awesometastic (Part 2, I am looking at you), are always a fun time in the theater. So imagine my happiness (seriously, stop everything you're doing right now - set down the scone! - and just imagine it!) upon reading that plans for a Part 4 are moving ahead.... and it's gonna be in 3-D!!! From BD:
So what we have here are the writer and director of the aforementioned awesometastic Part 2 teaming up again! And what we have here, as in "right here in my pants," is a mess from this news.
This series is so so so so ripe for 3D, too. I can only imagine the dodging of intestinal matter I will experience in spectacular 3D glory. Wonderful!!!
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"David R. Ellis is coming back to New Line for more death, according to the Hollywood Reporter. The director has signed to direct and develop "Final Destination 4," the latest installment of New Line's popular horror series, which the studio plans to shoot in 3-D.
The premise of the series is that even if you cheat death once, a force that is death itself will stalk you until it finishes what is started, usually in a gruesome fashion. While plot details for "FD4" are being kept under wraps, the movie will stand alone: It will feature new teens facing new forms of death.
The script was written by Eric Bress, who co-wrote "Final Destination 2."Ellis directed the second installment, which was praised for its elaborately orchestrated killings. New Line's Richard Brener and Walter Hamada are overseeing the project, which has no start date.
The "Final Destination" films have been solid performers for New Line since they debuted in 2000. The first film grossed $53.3 million, the 2003 sequel made $46.5 million and the third, released in 2006, collected $54 million. The movies usually are made for at least half that and do well on home video."
So what we have here are the writer and director of the aforementioned awesometastic Part 2 teaming up again! And what we have here, as in "right here in my pants," is a mess from this news.
This series is so so so so ripe for 3D, too. I can only imagine the dodging of intestinal matter I will experience in spectacular 3D glory. Wonderful!!!
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Monday, November 19, 2007
Cloverfield's Trailer
The new trailer for Cloverfield is online - right here! - and I'm one of them people on the internet who are eating this empty hype with a spoon. You know, like a million other suckers. Anyway, here's some grabs of the super-ultra-mega-destruction:
I think I see the maybe-elbow of something completely indistinguishable! Whee!
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I think I see the maybe-elbow of something completely indistinguishable! Whee!
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Today's Mood
Happy 45th bday, Jodie Foster:

Sister Assumpta (Jodie Foster),
The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys

Sister Assumpta (Jodie Foster),
The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys
"But make no mistake, the culprits will be fingered..
I will finger the culprits."
Pic of the Day
I'm not seeing Beowulf until this Friday, so I don't know if the rumor-mongering that a new Cloverfield trailer was supposed to play before it held true, but there's a new gallery of stills from the film - Cloverfield, that is - over here, and I especially like this one:
Mmmm Mike Vogel staring lustily at another cute guy... said cute guy being his co-star, Michael Stahl-David, whom I do believe is also playing his brother, so... yeah, I've slipped into incest again. It's always happening with me! Gah! Somebody get my therapist on the line.
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Mmmm Mike Vogel staring lustily at another cute guy... said cute guy being his co-star, Michael Stahl-David, whom I do believe is also playing his brother, so... yeah, I've slipped into incest again. It's always happening with me! Gah! Somebody get my therapist on the line.
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Happy Thanksgiving
I didn't realize that it was "news" that there was going to be more of Thanksgiving - we all remember Eli Roth's faux-trailer contribution to Grindhouse, correct? - in his next flick, Trailer Trash (more on that here) - he'd said that much at that screening of Hostel I went to a few weeks back. But he's verified that on his MySpace blog (via BD), as well as linked to a must-have this holiday season:
It's a Thanksgiving poster! Awesomeness. I so wish I had a copy of that to hang over the actual turkey this Thursday. And there's possibly more to come:
Pleeease let me own a Thanksgiving action figure one day...
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It's a Thanksgiving poster! Awesomeness. I so wish I had a copy of that to hang over the actual turkey this Thursday. And there's possibly more to come:
"We're planning on doing more stuff, including action figures, depending on what the demand is."
Pleeease let me own a Thanksgiving action figure one day...
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An Ode To Angela
I was thinking about doing a list of the greatest queer villains for today's Queer Film Blogathon - for my previous pro-queer-villain rant click here; just know, unsurprisingly, that I love me the Evil Gays - but as my brain bounced around from Catherine Tramell to Bruno Anthony over this past weekend I kept coming back to one figure. One figure that I love unconditionally, even though it represents one of the nadirs of queer representation in film. I say "even though" but I might as well be honest and admit that it's probably 3/4's of the reason why I love this character so; the fact that it is such an "irresponsible" portrait. That it's so offensive on so many levels that... well, I'm helpless in my admiration.
This figure is sweet little Angela from Sleepaway Camp.
If you're unfamiliar with this 1983 summer-camp-slasher gem, let's just say... Angela's different from the other kids at camp. She gets taunted a lot for being so timid, but somehow, horrible things befall these cruel souls who taunt poor Angela...
I'm not going to get too in depth with the kills in Sleepaway Camp because they're wonderfully gruesome and some of my all-time favorites and will one day soon make their way into my Thursday Kills series, but let's just say that Angela - yes, spoiler! Angela's the killer - is one ingenious lil' minx. I'm especially partial to the curling iron scene...
No, I'm not exactly sure what Angela does with that curling iron, but... well, I suppose we can allow our imaginations to do the talking. But Judy's a total bitch!
She totally had it coming. Anyway, the stupid-offensive idea behind Sleepaway Camp is this: In the opening scene we see a hot guy -
- with his son and daughter playing on a small sailboat. It tips over, they fall in the water, and an out-of-control speedboat runs them over. Hot Dad is killed, as well as one of the children, while a man we learn later on was Hot Dad's boyfriend, aka Other Dad, watches from the shore. We think the sibling who dies is the little boy, leaving the little girl to grow up to be Angela, but we learn later on that Angela is really the little boy grown up, and it was his/her sister who died, but Other Dad went insane and made the little boy into a little girl, i.e. Angela, as well as turning himself into a woman:
It all makes more sense - totally offensive sense - when viewing the film; I'm realizing that trying to describe this convoluted pronoun-aplaooza in words is coming off horribly... well, convoluted. If you've seen the film you get it; if not, just know Angela's really a boy and her parents' Hysterical Gayness leads to a little boy-girl with serious issues. Like making with the serious hack-slash-stab.
You'd be hard-pressed to come up with a more ridiculous take on queer issues than Sleepaway Camp - gay parenting is presented as The Most Terrifying Prospect Ever, with all the flashback scenes set in some black-stage purgatory where the camera swirls around in madness -
Gay men are presented as so unstable that a death of their loved ones causes them to lose all sense of identity or sanity and not only turn themselves into freaks but force such identity-issues onto the children oh-so-woefully within their care... yet, despite myself, it's just this totally silliness that I embrace about the film. It spins so far over-the-top not just in its homophobia but in its everything that 25 years later it's still a blast to watch, and political-correctness be damned - the final shot revealing Angela's little "secret" still gives me the willies (ahem) every time.
There's so much wrong (in the Uncanny sense) with that moment - it's (supposed) adolescent nudity for one, but Angela's unmoving open-mouth smile-scream, and the fact that it's really a naked man (due to laws about showing, well, an actual naked adolescent) with a prop Angela-head on... it continues to add up to a bundle of creepiness.
So yes, makes no bones about it, Sleepaway Camp is wholly reckless in its portrayal of queerness: it's something to be feared, something that veers in an instant into madness. But then, to be fair, the film isn't exactly loving in its representation of the heterosexual bunch - the camp-cook tries to molest Angela, and Judy the Teenage Vixen is a conniving sexually-predatory bitch. And the teenage boy who romances Angela - much to his eventual beheaded chagrin - is horny to the point of cartoonishness, eventually helping to push our little Angela right over the edge.
But in the end I certainly can't defend the film as progressive in its politics, except for the fact that it was addressing fears that were out there while nobody else was. In a disturbingly homophobic manner, sure, but it never takes itself too terribly seriously either. Hell, it doesn't take itself seriously in the slightest. So it might not be right then, but it is okay. If okay equals a hoot. And oh does it ever.
Plus: Greatest Worst Fake Mustache Ever!!!
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Tomorrow
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Just a quickie reminder that tomorrow is the Queer Film Blogathon hosted by my pal Damion at Queering the Apparatus. Check it here, there, everywhere.
Said it was quick. It's the weekend! I got things* to do!
* things = laundry. So much laundry. Sigh.
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Said it was quick. It's the weekend! I got things* to do!
* things = laundry. So much laundry. Sigh.
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Saturday, November 17, 2007
Dear Richard Kelly,
Hey, love that new-to-me poster just above! Ummm.... but yeah, Richard? Believe me - this hurts me far more than it does you.
It's not a good sign when you spend half (okay, 7/8ths) a movie wondering what drugs a director is taking and thinking to yourself, "Man, I hope I never mix 'em up the way he does."
On the plus side, I'll have loads to say about this movie later this week (or possibly weekend...) when I can, so y'all stay tuned. Just... wow.
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It's not a good sign when you spend half (okay, 7/8ths) a movie wondering what drugs a director is taking and thinking to yourself, "Man, I hope I never mix 'em up the way he does."
On the plus side, I'll have loads to say about this movie later this week (or possibly weekend...) when I can, so y'all stay tuned. Just... wow.
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Friday, November 16, 2007
Quote of the Day
"When the producer Alix Madigan and I sat down to go through our list of potential "Janes" and Anna Faris's name came up, that was it. She was my first and only choice. "Jane" is an incredibly challenging role in the sense that she is onscreen virtually every frame of the film and as a character she does a lot of not so bright things. Anna has an absoulutely uncanny likeability about her - you root for her no matter what. I seriously don't think there's any other actress out there who could have pulled this film off. It is much much harder than Anna makes it look. I rank Anna right up there with the Lucille Balls and Carole Lombards in her amazing comic gifts and timing. The movie would be impossible without her and I'm forever grateful for her taking on the challenge."
I'm so annoyed this movie's not getting a massive roll-out. Instead Hollywood throws their money behind Vince Vaughn wrestling with midgets. Sigh. Anyway, Araki's so right-on about Faris. One of the greatest comedians working, that super lady.
Smiley Face hits DVD in early '08. Supposedly.
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Shannon & White Push Some Daisies
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Just when I think I can't possibly flip for Pushing Daisies any more, Joe sends me this link and my head explodes into a hurricane of dandelion seeds, pie crusts, and Grace Kelly inspired head-wraps. Via there:
For some reason, that link calling him Michael White instead of Mike White threw me off and it wasn't until I spotted him in the myriad of shots from the episode that the link has that I realized, with said head-explosion, who they meant.
Mike White and Molly Shannon as vindictive taffy shop owning siblings!!! It's like Year of the Dog swallowed itself and spat itself back up on top of my current favorite show. I mean that as a good thing. It's the the greatest FYC ad EVER. Here are a couple other shots from that link:

"Funny lady Molly Shannon ("Saturday Night Live")... is making a guest appearance on the November 28 episode of ABC's whimsical procedural "Pushing Daisies" titled "Bitter Sweets."...
A vindictive taffy shop owner (Shannon as Dilly Balsam) sets up shop down the street from The Pie Hole, determined to drive Ned out of business by any means necessary. Writer/actor Michael White ("The School of Rock," "The Good Girl") guest stars as Dilly's brother, Billy."
For some reason, that link calling him Michael White instead of Mike White threw me off and it wasn't until I spotted him in the myriad of shots from the episode that the link has that I realized, with said head-explosion, who they meant.
Mike White and Molly Shannon as vindictive taffy shop owning siblings!!! It's like Year of the Dog swallowed itself and spat itself back up on top of my current favorite show. I mean that as a good thing. It's the the greatest FYC ad EVER. Here are a couple other shots from that link:

ETA I just thought I'd mention that I almost has an epileptic fit from laughter during Wednesday night's episode when Emerson had the Vertigo dream sequence. Anybody else love that? KILLED me.
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