There was a script review of an early draft (or what I thought was an early draft) of Jurassic Park IV at AICN ages ago in which this whole "dinos with guns" thing was dissected, and I really never thought that would end up being the route they'd go. I mean... they're dinosaurs! They can tear a person to shreds with their claws! They don't need a gun to become scarier than they already, naturally are. A gun will actually just make them look silly, and redundant. It's like Freddy Kreuger holding a knife in his bladed-hand, or Jabba the Hutt smothering someone with a bean-bag chair. Unnecessary! I really thought they'd go back to the drawing board on this one, because this idea is just so ridiculous. Alas:"Bloody-Disgusting learned this weekend that Universal Pictures has officially begun casting for Jurassic Park IV, which will film in Kauai, Hawaii later this year! Laura Dern confirmed her return to the franchise as Dr. Ellie Sattler here as Sam Neill will NOT return. We're told that the film is about the government who has trained dinosaurs to carry weapons and use them for battle purposes."
I know I'll probably be unable to help myself, the rational parts of my brain have long been smothered by irrational geek tendencies, and Jurassic Park being the franchise that got this ball rolling in the first place I'll be helpless in its wake. I'll just be relying on y'all to calm me down in the comments!And, for the record, I lose no respect for Laura Dern for signing on for this. Everybody needs to get paid.
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5 comments:
I guess she can't make Inland Empires for the rest of her career.
That is truly a bizarre storyline. Truly truly bizarre.
I think this is a horrible, horrible idea, and yet I will be buying a ticket, as I love the original JP far too much to ever consider turning another helping down. That said, anyone think it's interesting the rotating circle of the film's original stars who have been leads in the follow-ups: first Goldblum, then Neill, and now Dern. Who's next: Richard Attenborough or the kids?
I think getting the two kids from the original - Joseph Mazzello and Ariana Richards - to play their characters in a sequel is GENIUS. They did show up briefly in The Lost World, which is the scene where we also learned that Attenborough's Hammond character had died, so no return of him. But I'd LOVE to see the kids show up, older now. How old are they now? Mazello's 24 (look at his picture! Eek!) and Richards is 28... they could be scientists now!
Dinos with guns is an awful idea but....they really ought to bring those kids back.
Attenborough's Hammond character had died, so no return of him
How's that a problem in this franchise? They just need to capture a mosquito that had sucked his blood, inject the DNA into a human egg, and wait seventy-five years. Voila! Ripe for a sequel.
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